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Angel, 28 y.o.
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Date: October 3, 2022
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Thank you. What a load of crap that was. A teenager didn’t groom someone her own age. She wasn’t even old enough to know what grooming is. She had feelings for him and flirted the only was teenagers know how — a bit clumsily and at times overtly sexually. Their feelings were and are very clearly mutual.
OP, this is a you problem. Your daughter told you openly from day one that she did not — and would never — view your adopted son as a brother. You are the only one who clearly struggled to accept this, and tried for years to force the issue. You failed to push them into your own view of who they should be and how they should feel about each other. And you’ve been blind to who they are and how they actually feel.
It’s fair for you to feel shocked, lied to, and betrayed by those lies, but kids often lie to parents when they don’t feel safe enough to tell the honest truth. They knew it would upset you, and they knew in turn it would jeopardize their relationship, as well as peace and stability in the family home. They kept their truth from you to protect themselves from your reaction.
Your kids are adults. They are not blood relatives. And they have never viewed each other the way you view them. They have done nothing wrong. It’s on you to decide whether or not you are willing to accept that and embrace them for who they actually are and how they truly feel. You don’t get to decide that for them.
Bingo. He's just clinging to OP because she's ten years younger than the broad he accidentally knocked up and now he's having all these panicked thoughts of being “stuck” with her when he could've had some young thing. He's now trying to keep both of them because, well.. dude doesn't sound very smart.