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Anie, 28 y.o.
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Date: October 8, 2022
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Info: how is your niece feeling about being around her dad and his new family?
Screw the gift. That’s not what matters here. What matters is how a 6yr is going to feel being faced with the parent who abandoned her.
Yeah you’re right. Thank you
Oh also yeah, you're boyfriend literally wants to kill himself because he's with you, so I don't think looks are gonna save ya here
There may no prompt for advice, but leave now. Contact the police, file a report and suicide watch. Google how to file for a restraining order and do it.
Protect yourself first and foremost.
Second, do not enable or give in to his emotional manipulation. He is responsible for his own conduct. If you did the steps in line one you have done your part.
If you know his parents or siblings contact info, or a close friend, you should notify them too (just to round out your efforts), and then you have a 110% clean conscience.
Leave. Run don’t walk. File for protection.
Don't agree from personal experience. I asked for a break with my ex and it wasn't to see other people, it was to reevaluate our relationship. In the end we broke up but yeah
I can only surmise that any woman that does that shit has some form of psychological issues or illness. Maybe they think if the guy just has a reason to talk to them that he will love them? They see it as a way to control them? Change their behavior?
The most tragic aspect is the life they create that is forced to be in their toxic sphere of influence. Women that pull this bullshit are the ones that should NEVER be mothers.
There are plenty of reddit videos on that famous live video website that can give you a sense of what infidelity does to the cheated spouse. They also show what happens to the AP and how negatively their reputation suffers.
There is a lot at risk here. You need to take a deep breath and ask yourself if revealing your feelings ia in everyone’s best interest.
Ex-Jew (now athiest) here. Raised by a Jewish dad and Christian mom, raised as a Jew.
You might ask to meet and speak with their Rabbi about this. He might see things differently / more reasonably (or he might not, depends if we're talking ultra-orthodox). If he feels it is reasonable to go ahead without making you get circumcised as a prerequisite then he may be willing to speak with the dad on your behalf. For my 2 cents, I don't think it is a reasonable ask and I am against genital mutilation (I'm circumcised and wish it hadn't been done to me).
Something you would want to work out with your Fiancee first is if you are in agreement on how to raise kids if you have them – that is probably the biggest thing to deal with.
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We broke up first but ya it takes a shattered person to act this way and of course i didnt mention all of the other issues leading up to this chain of events. This is a small scope of a big issue
This is what I thought as well. She was probably taken aback and surprised because it seems like he brought it up out of now where on their commute and then also was like really ya think?????
5 years dude…at this point, after a house…you’re either in or out. Talk to her. Do something.
She acted like she was single. She would of been single after that complete disrespect.
Sorry, I was writing from my phone. I meant but NOT everyone will (agree with you that there is more complexity compared to a black and white world view).
Here's the thing w/ my therapist– I fear that I relate mostly negative feelings to her because those are the ones I need to work on, which in turn may have led her to have an overwhelmingly negative perspective of my relationship. I think I could definitely be a better advocate for my SO while talking to my therapist. But yeah, that's where my therapist stands, and I don't really want to bring it up with her anymore because I think she might be a little sick of hearing about it while I continue to do nothing about changing my situation haha
I can see that the relationship at it's current point is unhealthy, what I have trouble figuring out is what to do about it. Thanks for your comment, it means a lot that you'd take the time to help me think through it 🙂
Yeah you know that sounds about right. She's a very visual person and she can be a little perfectionistic when it comes to appearances so I think to her any deviation from 'normal' makes her anxious.
Then direct this post to r/relationshipstatements
At what point did you think they were going to start fucking? Because what you’re describing is incredibly harmless.
he has already been offered the option to rehome the cat to gf's parents which would be the best for both his and the cat's wellbeing
At least in those versions of the truth, your parents weren't unfaithful to each other.
Definitely ask tho; you deserve some answers.
You don't have to tell her “hey, stop flirting with me”. It's best to tell her in one of the moments she compliments you that you want to keep it strictly professional and it's making you uncomfortable. If she deny and say you misunderstood her, you can tell her that's even better, there will be no problem keeping it professional. Unfortunately there's no way to solve this without awkwardness but it's her fault. Be have to be clear and firm.
Get a new girlfriend
My 2 cents: Given you are willing, ask her if it's something you can help with. If she passes on it, just say “I'm here if you want to talk.” Just letting her know someone cares can be a big help. You might not even know about it helping, if it does, now or later. We all want to be seen as individuals. You're saying “I see you”, in an accepting way.
Shotgun wedding huh?
Are you his mom?
I hope so- I don’t want her to break up with her other partners or anything but at the same time…I kinda want to be in a Monogamous at the same time.
I know I need to given the fact I schizophrenia has been really damn recently as well- and I know this is just making it so much worse
It depends, but as I understood it, in a community property state all separate property stays separate until ANY monies including $1.00 from community goes into (is commingled with ) the separate property, then it can become community.
Listen I don’t know him as a person so I can’t really answer that last question but sometimes you need to be know about certain things just tell him when you ask him “this made you feel a certain way”
So he is ignorant, racist, sexist, rude, and insensitive to your feelings? Cool dude….
Is your question how low are the lowest reasonable standards? Higher than this.
This is too much it’s better than it happened now rather than you finding out she did something while you guys were “long distance”. Just think of this as a blessing in disguise and move on.
then leave them alone and let them work out ffs.
It is something you find out about the person you intend to marry, along with so many other things.
How are you considering proposal, and yet have no idea of her wants and preferences for something so important to so many?
Have you never dreamed of the future together? Ever had talks about future dreams or plans? Do you know if she wants children, or is this something you intend on dealing with when it comes up as well?
It seems short sided and it is honestly baffling that marriage would be considered before even knowing what a marriage would look like – including the day of aspect and the multitude of life decisions you’ll inevitably make together.
You are in such a niche field you need to date within your circle.
And as a side note, I’m over here crying laying next to my 5 year old, thankful for people like you. Your worth is tremendous and you’ll find an upstanding man. Take your free time to spoil and be kind to yourself right now
Ok. I appreciate everything. I will admit that I have been putting pressure on her lately, and I will have to work on backing down because we do love each other, and I want it to work out, but I'm too sexually active for it to not play a part
While I agree that different attachment styles can come into play here, the fact that she’s communicating that one of her needs isn’t being met shouldn’t be dismissed, at the very least it should lead to more discussion.
You would think and hope. And no doubt OP needs to step up his game