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Ann), 19 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Ann)
Date: October 7, 2022
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It sounds like you are feeling confused and concerned about your relationship. It can be really hurtful to hear that if things don't work out, you couldn't remain friends. I understand why it would make you worry about the relationship's potential longevity.
I think it’s important to take a step back and be honest with yourself here – ask yourself what level of emotional intimacy is healthy for both of you in this particular relationship? Are there any double standards when it comes to how he treats his female 'friends'? Does this all feel ok for you?
Take your time with these questions and really listen inwardly. Understanding where your boundaries are and creating clear communication is integral for any successful romantic arrangement-whether it continues or not!
What’s your problem?
Yeah. They're great as everyone knows what to expect.
You can tell who has and hasn't gone through a common law separation. I am getting a kick out of the replies.
He's an ex convict
id like to move but my wife is expecting our first in a few months and its just not in the budget to sell and hire moves sadly. im starting to get the impression from the comments that the dick pic idea isnt one of my best ideas
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He has low self-esteem that’s for sure
Yes, the provocateur is more at fault— the problem is that he didn’t provoke anything. If she has hang ups about her ability in sport, that sucks, but it’s irrelevant here— he never said anything pertaining to ability. He said “I’ve noticed women usually play keepy-up with their knees.” Sure, he knew she was in a bad mood. Is speaking at all to your partner when they’re in a bad mood now evil or immature?
If someone is in a bad mood and gets mad at an innocuous comment and insults the commenter, that’s called overreacting and lashing out. If they are provoked they’re not in the wrong, but the threshold for what is provocation isn’t just “whatever upsets me.” If you get upset over something meaningless and non-insulting, even if your angry brain made you predisposed to seeing it as insulting, you weren’t provoked into anything. You were just on edge and being an asshole to anyone who talked to you. And you owe them an apology.
I would stop having sex all together at this point and talk about the need for trust. This would be a deal breaker for me personally for her to be acting this way.
Heal before starting new relationships. Did you say this was a 2 week relationship?
I don't think this is a healthy relationship anymore. She doesn't trust you and she takes her insecurities about other people's issues out on you. She very much needs therapy. Her mental health issues have killed your relationship. I'm a woman who has been in an abusive relationship, and I think her behavior is WAY out of line.
Yes, 100% nude in some of them. Very suggestive poses…
And what does he plan to do when his mom eventually dies one day? In any case you need to get yourself out of this situation, this marriage isn't going to do you any good OP.
Dear lord, you need to get a hold of yourself! You are escalating this in your own mind, and that is a HUGE red flag for women that you are a jealous, controlling person. Do better. You have no right to judge her pre-relationship and she has no right to judge you. Seriously, if you can’t get over this immediately, get counseling. You are going to be a miserable person if you act like this.
Get a prenuptial with your soon to be spouse. Protect all assets from prior to the marraige. Don't take your name off anything. Your brother should get some inheritance when your father does pass though.
Yea. Going on a date isn’t usually good for relationships when the date partner isn’t the relationship partner.
They aren’t dating by any means though from the sound of it
I’m still trying to figure out why your boss wanted to stay at a single subordinate’s home. It’s inappropriate to me.
I would ask your BF if he wants you to go NC with the “crush”. You may not see anything going forward, but its about him, not you.
You say you are related to the crush, but unless he is your brother, that may not mean much.
Rightly or wrongly, I think there are now trust issues that used to not be there. He found out by looking at your phone, so you are going to have to bend over backwards to assure him. He doesn't know what else you are hiding from him.
Also, consider this…lets say that you weren't related to this crush, and he was available. What would you have done? My guess is that your bf is thinking the same thing. Are you one guy away from cheating on him?
To start, I'm genuinely concerned that my comment here might come off a bit controversial, so I really want to try to word this as delicate as possible. I also want to be crystal clear off the bat that what happened to you is completely unacceptable, no one should discount that, and I'm absolutely not discounting that.
Having said that, I really think you're going out of your way to unnecessarily make this a much bigger issue than it is, likely because you're incredibly insecure and co-dependent. So let's go through it all; some scumbag inappropriately grabbed you. Not ok. You have strong feelings about it; completely ok.
But when you told your girlfriend, what support were you expecting? What would have been sufficient? What exactly did she say? Separately, were you the victim of trauma in the past?
I'm a churchgoing Catholic. Your boyfriend needs to chill. Besides if he's your BOYFRIEND and having sex with you he's not that religious. He really needs to take it down a notch.
Are you seriously comparing kissing with full penetrating sex? ?
I'm going to elaborate on everything in the most civil way possible in order to help you understand reality, but you need to understand that you sound awful because you're in fact awful (I will get into how shitty your husband is I promise you).
You've been together since you were 17 and 16. You say he was awesome at the beginning. But what does that mean? You say “lately” but that has to be dishonest term; “lately” would indicate recent actions. So how long was everything “awesome?” At what point did he start crossing your boundaries, and separately (because the prior assertion is huge and should be discussed on its own) become distant?
Everything after that is a lot of fluff, including your ex coming back, which isn't nothing, but big picture it seems to be just another symptom of a much larger problem that's always existed. In saying that, did all of this horrible shit start after you got married, or did it start while you were dating and you forced a relationship and marriage regardless? You'll have to let us know.
Big picture, you're learning why just about everyone advises not to rush into serious relationships and/or marriage when you're young. Now, in your defense, most people don't elaborate, and when they do, are just projecting and aren't actually giving advice so much as telling you how they feel based on their anecdotes.
Here's where I come in. As it relates to your husband, are you compatible? Are there red flags you've brushed off? Are there issues that haven't been addressed? Given everything, I think I can safely assume that one or more of these questions would be answered in the negative. In saying that, that's what you need to focus on. This isn't about choosing your husband or his best friend (which is obviously fucked up on its own, but that's more the friend's problem than yours); it's about acknowledging that you're in an unhealthy relationship and marriage and have been for quite some time.
That makes the friend irrelevant. If you're in a bad marriage, talk to a lawyer and get divorced. You don't make that decision based on whether or not you have another opportunity. Everything else proves that point. You questioning your marriage means your marriage isn't right. You questioning your feelings with the friend means they're not right.
You're worried the friend is gonna “flip?” Dating is the process of getting to know someone to see if you're a fit and you're compatible. If you learn you're in a situation where you're objectively right with someone, things will almost always lead to a healthy relationship. If, however, you learn that things aren't right, you either address them or acknowledge it's time to end the relationship. With your husband, you've known things aren't right, but got married regardless. Why would you assume things would just magically change?
While I'm now not suggesting you pursue the friend, especially given the fact you're questioning it, you need to base your fear of him “flipping” on reality; are things good with him? Are you compatible? Are there red flags? Are there issues? If there are, you can be all but guaranteed it's going to fail. That's what you continue to ignore. Stop rushing relationships.
it happens too often that she’s feeling used.
Maybe change your sex style.
The fact that his behaviour is escalating is very telling and also a sign of abuse. He’s taking advantage of the fact that you love him and have become more attached, so he thinks he can get away with more escalation.
I understand being confused about this situation, but believe me, you deserve to be you! You deserve to have your personality shine! You deserve to wear the cute socks with the skirt! You deserve to be everything that you want to be, with a partner who doesn’t feel threatened by your personality and ways you choose to express yourself.
I am wishing you the best of luck. I hope everything works out for you and you have some peace and quiet coming your way to recover from a very traumatic event. Take care!!
First definitely talk to him. He needs to know to what degree it's affected you. If you want to stay with him, you're going to have to be super open about it all. Every thought. He needs to see what you mean and if it only comes up when you explode it's literally out of his dumb man brain the rest of the time.
If you don't want to stay with him, if he's done too much damage, that's okay too. It's all up to you and what you think is possible for the future. I would still tell him though, to clear the air and in the hopes that he doesn't do the same to the next woman.