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My clothes start
Date: October 25, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Oh please. You know nothing about their relationship.
When people like you say this, it implies that she is in capable of making her own decisions. It’s insulting and you’re likely jealous of her marriage. She’s 26. She’s a fully grown adult, whether you like it or not.
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Hi all,
Not my first time posting here, but my first time posting about my current girlfriend and I.
I am M(24) and my girlfriend (24) are living together. To spare a lot of unnecessary details, we had an emotional talk at one point about masturbation and said that I wouldn't watch porn because she feels that it makes her feel un-needed and not desired so to only do it over her. I respected that so I didn't watch it. Until I fucked up hardcore and watched porn last week.
She asked if I had watched it randomly yesterday and I had said, yes I have. It all blew up. Completely. She was crying, I was nearly in tears, and to save all this details, she says she can't take my word because I have fucked up so many times. I know I have.
That was last night. Fast forward to today I was using audio from reddit and using my girlfriends pictures to masturbate. I never viewed audio as porn until I started thinking about our conversation last night. In all this time, I have thought of porn as video porn (and I think my gf thinks so too). Not audio. I believed audio was fine because I was masturbating over my GF, thinking it was just a situation that she was doing it. Using her as the visual aspect etc.
I reflected on what I had done and almost threw up. I texted my girlfriend “My word means nothing. I don't deserve you.” I got the response: “Are you okay babey? I love you. We'll get through it all it's all going to be okay”
But I honestly don't know anymore. Like I fucked up AFTER the conversation we had. I guess I just need some advice on how to explain/deal with this all when she gets home.
I guess my word means nothing. I don't know if I need advice, or just needing to hear I'm an asshole. I really don't know. I think I just need help.
Just make sure you're not allowing their journey to overshadow your own. If you also feel like you have room to explore, and change, and discover yourself in this relationship, then that's amazing and I wish you two all the best in growing up together. But if all your energy is going towards supporting their journey, and you have none left for your own, then its worth considering the steps you need to take to protect yourself in this relationship. The problem with approaching any relationship with the attitude that, “I'll have them as long as they'll have me,” is that it completely devalues you as a person. Perhaps, “I'll have them as long as they deserve me,” would be a healthier approach.
Step one is to remove “I don't want to offend him” from your thinking.
You have to risk the likelihood that he'll be upset. And you shouldn't have any problem doing that because he is showing zero concern for your feelings.
Avoiding difficult discussions because the other person might get upset is a very bad habit and will end up causing much worse conflict.
Use respectful language, but address this issue honestly and let him manage his own feelings.
Even if you were totally in the clear being broken up, it’s still understandable that HIDING it was a violation of boundaries. Seriously, it never came up that you saw other people in the interim? Why did your ex have to “rat you out” for that conversation to happen?
Also pretty goddamn weird you apparently started dating when you were 23 and she was 17.
Based on their ages and the amount of time they've been together, they got together when she was 17 and he was 23
This does help though because you need to start preparing to be a single mum so you're not blindsided in 6 months.
You need to accept who he is or walk away. Your parents are worse than his and all of you nagging him is just making everything worse. If a degree is so important then go find someone who actually has one.
you're*
subpar troll burns and piss poor grammar. i'm embarrassed for you.
He really seems like a keeper… /s
I have never really gotten a straight answer on that. When I visit her school we seem to spend all of our time alone with each other (we get so little time alone together) and not hanging around with her friends. The few times we are hanging around with her friends, I feel awkward and weird, like a 5th wheel, so I don't say much and just kind of watch the dynamic play out. One person even acted surprised when I met them that I was her boyfriend, but I never got more details about why they were surprised.
It doesn’t matter and it’s not a child. Be more careful.
No denying the codependency- it’s something I’m working on really naked. And I’ve gotten a LOT better.
Everything you said is totally valid. I’ve also been on the receiving end of the codependency, and I get the emotional burnout.
The only thing I’ll say is- it’s been this way the entire time, from the beginning. Even his family said when we got together that they’d never seen him finding a long-term partner. Homeboy doesn’t know how/doesn’t want to access his feelings.
Do you have kids? If not, run. This is controlling behaviour, I talk to my 6yo like this.
Yes we moved in together way too quickly I admit
Dude this shit is gonna bite you in the ass in the future and you know it. Don't ignore obvious redflags because you're in love or you don't want to be lonely.
Yeah, that's not cool. She's not worth it. She's still sleeping with him.
I had regulars within 2 months, but I’m not suggesting anything, no.
Yeah I wouldn’t continue the relationship with someone like her
!RemindMe 1 week
Listen, the two mean the same thing. You’re just dancing around it with that question.
I get it. I feel that way too sometimes…like, if “What if after I leave these people, no one else enters my life? I don’t want to be alone forever!”. But it’s also kind of freeing in a way. Time is a currency, and suddenly all that time you spent on those people who weren’t any good to you is now free to be spent on something else. Or someONE else. Or a whole bunch of other people.
In this situation, it sounds like they’ve already left you. You already are alone. Aren’t you?
…It’s going to be okay. This isn’t the end for you. Just the beginning of something new. Something better.
This isn’t something I did with my spouse until marriage was on the table. With your next partner, don’t do that until it’s relevant. Like you are about to build a life together and not just dating.
Hi! I’m actually searching for a therapist, I work until 6 m-f and the therapists that accept my insurance (only a few) close before I get off work and don’t have weekends. It’s a struggle but I’ve been trying to just read up on therapy techniques/coping strategies while looking for a doctor.
So because he doesn't exactly agree with you he's a bad person? He doesn't even seem to disagree with you, just not fully 100 percent agree with you.
You sound more toxic than he does.
She has basically put me in a position where I have to choose to support my parents opinion (which is right) or support her opinion. If I don’t support her opinion, her and her father come down on me and berate me. The two of them working in tandem made it much harder to come to this conclusion much sooner. I wish I had!
I am sincerely tired of playing therapist, of feeling responsible for someone mental health. But at the same time I don't want to be an ass hole.
encourage her to get some help…everyday people leave their relationships cuz they are tired of what they have to put up with..That doesn't make you a bad person. Most people are not equipped to deal with a person with numerous mental health problems.
once you encourage her, how about you go see someone for some insight into why you are choosing broken women(or whatever pc term the people that just got triggered, want to use).
Instagram and tik tok, we both don’t use much social media