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Annita , ♡https://fans.ly/r/Careful_I_bite follow, 19 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Annita , ♡https://fans.ly/r/Careful_I_bite follow
Date: October 11, 2022
Shoot … add me into a group text with them:
Hello Mooches! Get your own money! Bc you d4mn well know if the roles were reverse you would pay for SH1T! Their money is for them! Not you!
There is always a chance regardless of the time of the cycle so I would speak to the pharmacy of you are both sure that is what you want.
Do not fall for it. What he does because you refuse to see your abuser is on him, not you. No, is a complete sentence.
I didn’t read a single thing past the title. Leave. You have a duty to protect your children and not screw them up. You don’t need advice on Reddit, you need to leave.
So, you really think that the fact that your boyfriend is grieving his mother's death justifies his behaviour? Or that sunk-cost fallacy matters more than actually having a reliable partner whom you can act as a team with in times of crisis?
Would you feel the same way if your boyfriend's sister had been successful and you had actually lost your job or god forbid the custody of your daughter? I'm guessing not, or at least hoping it. Because that's not because of your boyfriend. That's entirely due to luck and chance based on what you share in your post.
And it will only get worse considering this is only 9 months, ffs this is for his work she doesn't rule his life, no man or woman should have to put up with this.
That, doesn't change it.
When a married man is trying to avoid you to protect his relationship, that doesn't mean he thinks you're trying to seduce him.
It may just mean he sees a potential for him to feel some way about you that isn't good for his marriage and wants to prevent it happening.
Source, am happily married man.
If you've not already, call 211 United way can hook you up with services you're probably unaware exist. Cos you've got a baby its very likely there's help for you
He is not mature enough to be dating
Have at it mate!
To me this is basically the ultimate compliment. You are literally a work of art sought after by family…take it to the grave with the satisfaction of knowing that you are indeed a masterpiece.
She's lied to me twice, the first time it went on for two days when I kept telling her I knew the truth and was asking her to just admit it, and she just kept lying more, until I found actual proof and she finally admitted it. Then she agreed not to lie to me again, and then lied to me about her roommate the very next day.
I feel really stupid, but I want to believe her when she says she won't do it again. It's never happened before now, so I'm feeling quite blindsided by it.
I’ve already done that. And she just continues to do the same thing.
I’m trying my best to reassure her.
Depends on both persons’ level of pride, emotional maturity, and communication skills tbh. Me and my boyfriend (been together since we were both 19 and now are nearing mid twenties) rarely argue because we have always just talked about what bothers us and acknowledge our own faults in the situations and also bring up what the other person is doing that’s causing said emotion or feeling.
Two of our roommates are a couple and one is 19 the other is the same age as us. They are some of the worst communicators in the house. And they take such little things personally, and from the “discussions” or just straight up arguments anyone can hear from their bedroom, it really reflects on their relationship
Would you be cool with it if your wife worked out with a random single guy that approached her at the gym?
i have 0 fear of pregnancy. std? yes i’m afraid of std
You know, there's that show. Wedding at first sight or some such…
Not necessarily.
You can get a bachelors from a credible live! school for maybe $40k or even less
He has an addictive personality. You will never be able to compete with his desire for new adrenaline rushes. He sounds like he has the potential to be violent. If you value yourself, say goodbye, find a safe place and say goodbye. I've been where you are, and it works out best to escape.
OP, I will always say this to people posting on Reddit, please go to therapy and listen to what THEY say, not people on Reddit, we have no consequences for what we tell you, neither are we qualified. So please go to a therapist, alone, and tell them everything, don’t settle for a couples therapy right now, ask about couples therapy with your therapist after they’ve gotten to know you or something
Do you know why she killed herself? Were they on the verge of a breakup? Does he feel a lot of guilt?
you are right Anything can happen
No, he was a loser before he married you.
And yes, anyone past the age of 14 and still getting into fights is absolutely a loser at life.
Get help. You need it.
It is very toxic to be comparing yourself to your new partner when you're two different complete people. The more you continue to compare yourself, the more you will end up resenting yourself and slowly resent her. You should talk to her about it or seek mental help about it. Because it'll end up helping you a lot with expressing these feelings and how you feel overall.
Don't compare yourself to someone who isn't you. When you want change, then prove it to yourself instead of sitting there comparing.
Yes I acknowledge where my actions seems to betray my resolve but at this point I know I won't make any moves but if she does, I know I will falter. We have to see each other because we already agreed to co parent our dogs by her coming to see them in my place till she moves out from her sister's place to her own. I want to seek the possibility of a neutral place like the dog park but I don't want to hurt her feelings by saying she can't come to my place to see them either, we didn't work out a schedule and it's not fair for me to deny her seeing them just because I don't feel comfortable.
Anything is possible. But its not a norm that I can process. Most naked guys look for a hot woman and then stick with them if they are a fit. Move on if they are not a fit. Not look for hard women, or just any woman, almost constantly. Over and over. But there could be all kinds of circumstances not explained by OP.
Yeah, but have you tried therapy for that?
Why does it matter what happened before you? Everyone has a past. If it makes you insecure then that’s a reflection of things you have to work on maybe in therapy.
Thank you so much.
That's what I though and surprised more people didn't go there.
Does she live! with her parents? Is her home life stable? How is their relationship?
This sounds like the only time she feels safe is with the bf and isn't ready to open up about any potential abuse.
What she's doing is wrong, but if it's an act of desperation I doubt many would/could act rationally in such a situation.
GL having that conversation, it's going to be rough. Do a TON of reading beforehand on how to approach the subject if you believe this might be the case; first hand accounts of survivors will be invaluable. They'll be hot to read, but could prevent you from inadvertently doing something that could make her feel or the situation worse. Get an exit plan ready for emergencies, pray to whoever you won't have to enact it, but be 100% prepared to act if you believe her situation requires it.
For the next while support her and make sure she feel safe. Encourage therapy (it's ultimately her choice though), and when things calm down get in therapy yourself. Something similar happened to be about a decade ago, and while I considered myself an emotionally intelligent and stable person it deeply affected me to the point I attempted suicide. Make sure you don't lose yourself in all this.
Hoping for the best.
I am reading other comments and I am starting to believe she is a troll, she only focus on what she wants, she starts fighting people about random stuff, and there are some inconsistencies, and honestly people can be dumb, but she is next level
So yeah, probably for attention
You should be careful you don’t upset your bf’s real gf.
Thank you for your reply. I will consider this option as well.
Ew, babe no. There are plenty of men out there that would like you for who you are, you don't need some douchebag treating you like that. I'm so sorry 🙁 I would personally leave, tell him to go after what he's attracted to, or just learn to appreciate what he has (even though I don't think I would give him another chance)
If you're that close already then the girl already sees way beyond socks and sandals. She'd see the real, honest and raw you that no-one else does until you let them. If she's said no for your fashion choices, that means she's shallow and not even worth the chance anyway. You don't need to change yourself in any way, shape or form. If she doesn't feel anything for you, she doesn't feel it. You can't force these things.
If I were you I'd take some time away from her so you can try to get over her. Respect her wishes.
I honestly feel bad that you don’t see how wrong this all is! The fact she can go hook up with random people and you can’t?? Talk about controlling and toxicity!
Do you really wanna be with a partner who can’t be patient enough and wait for you to be intimate and have sex with?
That she has to go to random people to be intimate and go on dates and have sex and make you watch that shit and cry and act like she’s the victim because you don’t like it??? It’s fucked up big time!
I will never understand that. Sounds more like you guys are friends with benefits than in an actual relationship in the strictest definition.
You deserve a whole lot better than this chick, trust me that this relationship will only hurt you more in the long term. ❤️
Time to move on and find a partner who actually cares about you, isn’t selfish and keeps your heart in mind. Relationships aren’t suppose to be like this.?
Do this OP!
Move everything out in one day and leave the divorce papers.
He deserves no forewarning. He is intentionally inflicting emotional, mental and physical (exposure to STIs) trauma on you.
Hell nah, tell the dude no thanks as politely as you can.
Can I DM you? I could use more specific advice, but I would prefer not to be found by my girlfriend who also uses Reddit.
Yes we’ve had many marriage counseling sessions at the start of our marriage a few years ago. It’s not like this hasn’t been addressed or I haven’t told her that I needed more from her. But for the first time I’m just feeling over it. I can’t shake the feeling that she’s holding me back.
Definitely with butt stuff.
This is EXACTLY the kind of help I was looking for.
Lack of communication has been a huge hindrance to us. I do think we love each other a lot, but it’s so naked to have serious conversations to him. I didn’t notice how low my self esteem had become until recently until I looked back at how I felt before I started dating him and now. I think after three years, the low self esteem just snuck up on me.
When I said he was a little too concerned about what other guys think of him, there were many things I was referencing without really referencing anything at all. He often buys clothing and when I ask him what made him buy it, he will simply reply that “___ has a shirt like this” or “___ said these shoes are the best.” It’s odd and hot to explain but something I have noticed. Meanwhile, the things I’ve bought for him still have the tags on. I mean, he grew a mustache when his coworkers complimented his facial hair despite him not liking mustaches and me saying I think he looks very handsome clean shaven. I don’t know if it’s a desire to be considered “good looking” by his friends or more of what you said: simply wanting to fit in. He never knew his father and was raised by his grandmother, so it makes sense that he’d be seeking a male acceptance.
I think my new direction after reading advice and receiving messages from others in the group is to just consistently let him know that I’d be there for him even if he was to never compliment my appearance ever again. I would love a relationship where I feel physically wanted, but just knowing he loves me would be enough if that’s enough for him.
I think my
The real question is whether or not this relationship adds anything positive to your life. She seems like she thrives on drama. Let her hate you.
Yep, she was very manipulative all throughout the relationship, but I kind of excused her behaviour based on her past experiences, and I justified it, saying that it was going to get better. Never did. I finally got fed up when she did something bad and gaslit me into being the bad guy.
She has told me her ex got a restraining order against her, and it never occurred to me that I might end up in the same situation. Now I've learnt not to ignore red flags.
I just don't understand where this sense of responsibility is coming from. I generally know that she was toxic. Everyone around told me the same thing, yet I still feel like reaching out and helping her. If I can figure that out, maybe I won't have the urge to try and 'help her'…
Sounds like you've got some trust issues you need to work on tbh.
Has he ever done anything in your relationship that would make you think there's gonna be a problem if he was with his friend and another girl for the trip? Honestly, if the answer is no. You're right for being upset he lied to you, but you might want to self evaluate why he's afraid to tell you they had a female friend joining and instead chose to lie.
He’s wanting permission to cheat. The whole staying together until the kids are out of school is him trying to keep up appearances. Nope. I’d be filing for divorce if it was me.
He’s wanting permission to cheat. The whole staying together until the kids are out of school is him trying to keep up appearances. Nope. I’d be filing for divorce if it was me.
He’s wanting permission to cheat. The whole staying together until the kids are out of school is him trying to keep up appearances. Nope. I’d be filing for divorce if it was me.
You are way too involved in your brother's affairs. Really. You should do NOTHING to help him. Where you could be a help is if you help your parents as much as you can, which takes that burden off your brother.
What is there to prove exactly ?
Does she expect you to just not have any friends for the rest of your life? Because, if you marry her, that's exactly what'll happen.
Maybe you could try a soft approach. “I'm going to leave at 2pm. So if you want drive together be here before 2.” Then when she's late, send her the address where to meet you.
What sucks is that when a partner makes you late, you look bad yourself. Then others know you two as the late couple. It gets attached to you.
What about you? Did she think about you when she broke up with you? You both seem like nice people, but you tried and it didn’t work. Don’t keep going back. You need to think about your own happiness. It doesn’t seem like you did anything wrong. You can’t be in a relationship just because you are afraid to hurt her. Hurting is part of life. Maybe the kindest thing you can do is just leave her alone and let her move on.
First thing first, your father should not be leaving a business in your brother's hands. All that money invested in that business will be lost.
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I mean, what you're saying is you're so afraid of divorce (another term for a break up), that you'd rather break up.
So, you won't get married, because you're afraid the relationship you say you would commit your life to might end, and therefore potentially could cause the relationship to end now. Talk about self-fulfilling prophecy!
Look, I give some leeway to the young, because they often don't know any better, but ending a union is ending a union, no matter what state it is in. It sucks, it hurts, and there's pain no matter what.
Divorce is just as messy as a break up, it depends on the people involved. In some ways, a break up would be even messier, because legal provisions exist already for marriage and divorce. And once kids get involved, it can be a bloody nightmare if you aren't married.
Also, for the relationship itself, how would kids even be determined. Will they have your last name? Why? You aren't married and seem to be anticipating a break up, so why should she give your name to them when you have one foot out the door?
Just some questions to consider, against some weird perception that a divorce will hurt more than a break up (hint: it won't).
This is exactly where I'm coming from. She comes to me about everything because she knows I'll always be nice. When she doesn't get the reaction she's expecting from me, she turns nasty. I've become really fed up of being treated that way, by everyone.
I definitely think you're right about not pretending anymore and just saying how I feel. I just know I'd be made to look a bitch.
I totally agree with you. 🙂 But you see the frequency seems to be my issue mainly of internal confidence. I could be having more frequent sex, but I just don't initiate when I'm feeling desirous.
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How long have you been together?
You aren't her friend if you're trying to get with her husband.
Tbh I would also feel weird taking my bf with me when I visit my childhood best friend.
They don't know each other whatsoever and since my best friends lives a bit away, they also don't really have the chance to get to know each other.
And my bf is fine with that.
I don't know every single one of his friends either.
Doing stuff alone is really damn important in a relationship.
Wait. A nearly 30yr old is talking to friends about her work crush and has pictures of him stored/accessible somewhere? No sir, you did correctly. That's incredibly immature and disrespectful to your relationship and you. Her friends encouraged I am certain, but that isn't an excuse. I am guessing her friends are a) single for a reason or b) rocky relationships at best. Good luck going forward.
Sorry i shouldve added in that I've mentioned it to my parents on day 1, they told me not to get involved in their family dynamics so I've been biting my tongue most times and not going crazy on them yet. But I was planning on telling more in depth everything once I was back home
How do you handle your own insecurities?
You just manage my man. You just manage.
You simply have to.
What's the alternative?
That is a MAJOR red flag in my book. He won't even have the app show him women who are less than 4 years younger than you? That 8-10 year age difference he seeks out is really creepy, especially at the age he is now. He has spent more than 2.5times as long being an adult as the women he normally targets. Since the age gap between you and him is fine, it would really depend on how sincere you thought he was when he says that you being “that old” is not a factor to him at all and that he really sees a future with you. I'd probably break up. He might get a chance if he tries to get back together in the future, depending on if he seems to have grown up .
It was an accident. As you mentioned, he has been working 12 hour shifts, so I'm sure he actually did fall asleep. I have an FWB who works 12 shifts sometimes, and from time to time, I've fallen asleep on him and vice versa.
I think it would be better to explain to him that the incident did hurt your feelings but that you can understand that it wasn't on purpose. But in the future, you want him to let you know that if he is too tired that he can reschedule.
Ignoring him won't do anything but upset you more when he doesn't reach out about how you feel because you're just ghosting him about the situation.
Call an emergency late night locksmith. Stay with one of the girls. Call your bf or go to his, go to family and friends. Go to a hotel or hostel.
At an absolute push if for some reasons you couldn't do any of that. Say to the guy you're sleeping on the couch, you have a bf, you're there because hes supppsed to be your friend and he's not acting like it.
You slept in his bed, held his hand, let him cuddle into you and didn't say a single thing. Stop trying to make excuses for your bad behaviour. I would 100% dump you after finding out you'd done this. You should tell your bf, it's his decision to make and keeping important things from him and being dishonest just make you even worse.
Nope.
Just to be clear, the betrayal was 10 years ago.
Now what do I do? I’m feeling so sad and so used.
You are being used for his pleasure only. He doesn't care whether or not you're satisfied.
The fact that you guys never have sex but she pleasures herself daily would have been enough for me to end it honestly. I can’t even fathom why you’re not more pissed off by that.
As for you and John, she obviously is attracted to him and goes to visit him regularly with a libido that hasn’t disappeared, as you thought. Make of that what you will
I wasn't trying to change him. He was a different person when I met him. Over the course of 9 years, he's become more withdrawn, angrier, more resistant to getting help of any kind, even talking about serious house issues he straight up won't touch. It does enhance my life but no, I'm not happy. I'm trying to help but it feels like I'm trying to dig us out of a hole and he's digging us in further.
Yeah, I've considered that. If I left he would lose the house. There's just unavoidable pieces if we split up but I think the commenter was right that there are no Nazi sympathizers, only Nazis. I am going to hear his side of the story out but people have been commenting on Facebook, more people who were at the bar when they were arguing and essentially he interrupted a discussion about the Holocaust that had nothing to do with him to say the Holocaust was a good thing and horrified/pissed off everyone there.
It's either I draw the line at Nazis or this becomes another brick in the wall. I don't want a relationship built on bullshit.
Yea you are in the wrong here man. It’s only annoying because you want it to be.
What’s past is past. She’s with you now. And has been for 5yrs. She was a horny 17yr old. She grew up, natured and moved on. They’re cousins, why wouldn’t they keep in touch. That’s all there is. Let it go.
THIS. There really is no other answer.
There is a good reason the law will not allow him a gun, and the fact he is trying to circumvent that is deeply troubling. Add that to the fact he's so much older, you have a real scary situation that you are in. Do you have anywhere else to go? Do you have friends or family you can stay with? A man who throws objects when angry is not a man who should have a partner or a gun.
Don’t feel bad. You two aren’t exclusive and he isn’t putting any effort in.
Maybe don't date someone fresh out of their teenage years if you look for good hygienic discipline and emotional maturity in a partner.
? ewh that’s not a good man!
I feel like this is more about yourself than OP at this point
I don't want to win. None of this is about winning anything. I dont want to marry him if he didnt really want to take my name. As a man, he has never been expected to thi k about this happening to him before. Cuz he expected the woman to just change her name like what is common. I am the first to ever make him think outside that box and it made him super uneasy. I expected that which is why i told him from the beginning and was gentle and understanding about it without bending my own needs and preferences on the matter.I want to be happy and I know how to ask for what I need to achieve that. I have been open about that with kids too. And my reasons why. I am upfront about everything, including flaws and expectations and he is free to choose to continue or leave.
Would you say this because you've seen bad experiences of it? Would you mind explaining what they were?
I've had a few friends who got really successful fwb with their friends. One of my exes friends who we used to hang with a lot used to be his fwb, so I know for sure it can work out, but it would be nice to know where it can go wrong.
Dude, I’m with you in the sleep training, but you have incredibly unrealistic sex expectations as a new parent. 2x a week is more than most new parents are getting. 2-3x per day when you have children of any age is just… ridiculous expectations to have. You seriously need to adjust those.
Came here to say this: HIIT workouts and sex take about the same amount of time and would completely justify why each person was out of breath and sweaty. As long as they aren't super loud, it would be easy to pass off post sex sweat for workout sweat and not raise the suspicion of Husband's MIL.
No way does someone start working out in your home and your partner neglects to mention it, then claims it's so you “wouldn't feel left out.” Which is it??
And, seriously, Julia just lost everything in a house fire. How nice would it be to ruin a marriage in the house it takes place in, resulting in the wife not wanting to be there for obvious betrayal reasons, and step into her new house and home? When people are going through tough times, they tend to be at their very worst. She may feel entitled to a little fun after all she's been through. I wouldn't trust her, or the husband, for multiple reasons! Omitting working out together, claiming it's for OPs own good so she doesn't feel left out, getting defensive and shooting an accusation back (“you've made up your mind”) in order to deflect blame back to the one with legit concerns.
OP, I'd be very surprised if nothing was going on here.
I never saw the original but you and your wife seem like a good couple. GJ not letting the parasites get the best of you two.
Unfortunately I can’t work. My son has severe special needs and sees about 6-7 specialists. He has a trach and a feeding tube, doesn’t walk or talk
Find a therapist. Seriously. There is a lot to unpack here.
You're in a LDR and are going to meet? You've been together for 6 years and have never met in person? soon would be the first time and you've been talking about marriage before meeting? or am I reading that wrong?
Why? People through out the ages have had commitment issues. He wouldn't be the first and won't be the last.
You? You haven't done anything wrong and it's unfair to you but… you can't stop him.
What you can do is say “if you date someone else, there is no turning back. We'll be done for good. You don't get to fuck around with other people then decide to call me back like a well trained dog. I won't be waiting. Make your choice. You're an adult and you get to do that. You don't get to run from the consequences”.
He gets to make that choice but you get to say “that's a final choice. I won't be waiting when you realize you've fucked up.”
She should confess to her fiance before the wedding & give him the opportunity to decide if he wants to continue on with the ceremony. That would be the fair thing to do.
All of this. Why do people put themselves in scenarios where cheating is bound to happen?
Just leave. Like what is the point of this
I'd break up with him find a normal dude, that's pretty out the gate… sorry you went through that, definitely not normal and a huge fucking red flag for 18 year old imagine the shit he's gonna be doing at 30, I'd dump his ass and find someone normal
I'd break up with him find a normal dude, that's pretty out the gate… sorry you went through that, definitely not normal and a huge fucking red flag for 18 year old imagine the shit he's gonna be doing at 30, I'd dump his ass and find someone normal
I don’t know. I feel like my brain is going to explode with all the thinking that I’m doing about him. I always try to tell the right things, I always try to think about his situations. Even when he’s wrong. I told him about my SA experience and he wanted to walk off, because the way I brought up the conversation wasn’t right. I saw his ex, the one whose pictures were saved and I asked him about it. I was kinda fucked up the whole day because I remembered something my SA and juts the timing was off. He’s never asked me anything bout it since then. He’s never asked anything about how I’m feeling.
Give her space. Give yourself space. Take time away from the situation to assess your relationship and where you stand
People who have been through shit aren't necessarily “strong”; they more likely have pushed their trauma down and tried to bury it but trauma responses ALWAYS reappear, usually at the worst times (because something else bad happening reopens that part of them).
At your age I can guarantee that every traumatized person you date hasn't properly dealt with their trauma yet because it takes literal years. You are just setting yourself up for watching your partner go through years and years of processing what they went through. Spoiler alert: it's not fun or romantic….it's heartbreaking and horrible to watch the person you love come to terms with what happened to them.
Do I think no one should date, as you call them, “broken people”? Of course not! The difference is that most of us are attracted to the person–who happens to have been through a traumatizing time–whereas you are attracted to the trauma. That's messed up and you need therapy and a reality check, not necessarily in that order.
The math adds up. It doesn't mean it's yours though.
Dude, speaking of crap that ain’t normal, he PACKED YOUR BAGS. If you accept this as behavior to be worked on rather than realizing the baseline is off and rebuilding a life without him, I don’t know what to say except go with god and use birth control.
unless they are abusive, go stay with your parents instead of squandering your little bit of financial independence on a hotel.
“it feels like my only options are getting over it or breaking up over it eventually.”
You would be correct.
I always tell people to pick your battles. If this is the hill you wish to die on, so be it. It then becomes a matter, as you note, of incompatibility.
Seriously, if he keeps doing it and you keep sticking around like some sad street dig without direction in life, what do you expect? Every time he cheats and you accept it, you basically validate his shitty behavior and approve. There are no consequences – so why would he feel the need to change..?
Im surprised you’re even posting this, cause if you haven’t left by now, I don’t ever see you leaving.
A) Pay for the fruit.
Then why comment lmfao
It is.
You're basically telling your wife that a cheating trash friendship is more important than respecting her and your marriage.
Opposite friendships are fine, but absolutely not with cheaters.
You're basically telling your wife you are planning to cheat.
i’m fortunate enough to have my dad & student loans pay for my rent so my dad offered me a deal where i’ll pay half and he pays half for the rest of the time the lease is up (until august) so they won’t need another roommate or pay rent. she’s only upset because i won’t live! with her anymore. i’m also leaving all of the furniture i brought so they can use it, like the couch and stuff bc that would be weird of me to take lol
You can seriously hurt yourself if you leave it on during certain activities, such as at the gym or using heavy machinery.
Degloving is not a very fun process.
Let his friends & family know he’s not doing well then block him and move on.
If anything, his behavior is just showing you how right you were to break up with him.
And the ones who can't handle the reality of what that means, they self-sabotage. is a tiny baby and an exhausted wife that you are responsible for. That you will always be responsible for.
And the ones who can't handle the reality of what that means, they self-sabotage. Opt- Out. They act out in protest of their changing lives.
My main thought here is why do you need to bring the kids for this initial meeting? Your dad is going to be overwhelmed by just getting out of prison and he is a literal stranger to the kids. I think it would be better to pick him up by yourself as meeting your overwhelmed grandparent in a car really isn’t the best for any of them. It just seems you’re pushing for an immediate relationship when this should be something that should be gradually introduced
That would be the normal reaction of any guy with one pair of balls who loves his girl.
But then: Karens weetle boyz have seen so much of their mothers entiteledness and often have gotten better things from that (as usually people can't stand up against a seasoned Karen or think it's not really worth their time and give in just to be rid of the Karen) that they don't see any harm in that.
This is why I am curious about what is the update here.
He just had sex with you, he doesn't care the way you think he does …
Does he usually tell you your sexy or compliment you? If he does I wouldn't be looking for things to me mad about.
Don't say negative things about yourself in hopes of snagging compliments.
While it is true that he is having a Mantrum of epic proportion and is being kind of a shit partner, you seem to be overlooking the fact that at least part of his current crummimess is related to the fact that you made a unilateral, life altering decision in the hospital that it appears you didn't discuss with him first. Congratulations on the baby, but you own some of this.
Commit.
Marry her, adopt her son, and you will all have the same last name.
Otherwise, when you leave, it will save her the trouble of having to change their last name to hers. BC if you're gone, that's what it will be anyway.
And single moms, anyway I’ll give my reasons, though do I really have to? This whole situation proves the sentiment right, he literally pays for her and her mother and a child that isn’t his and he can’t have his kids take on his last name? It’s not like he was being unreasonable either, he asked for double barrel and the people in the comments have the gall to say he should take on her last name? Tf?
While the algorithm does tailor the discover page to who you follow and what you “like”… You don’t necessarily have to be looking at girls like that for that stuff to be on the page.
You basically could like someone’s bikini pic you’re friends with on your page and that stuff would start coming up. If you click on it at all they’ll show you even more of it.
I did have a friend that said he deliberately liked a bunch of golf pics just to get that kind of stuff off his discover page. So it could work both ways. We are also 10 years younger than your man so, I conclude he’s liking naked girl in bikini pictures at some point but wouldn’t consider it cheating IMO
Rude comments wasn’t necessary , but as some comments here has pointed out . If you love someone very much , features u normally don’t find attractive , becomes attractive and it has happened to me personally .
I’m just so mad right now.
First of all, this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't date coworkers.
It seems like you both dodged a bullet here.
She's obviously a piece of work. You're clearly not emotionally or mentally ready for a relationship. At two months and you're talking about your future children and marriage? It seems like you're rebounding from your wife and became infatuated with this woman who was just having fun with you.
Stop dating coworkers. Go to therapy, and take time to truly heal before hopping back in the dating pool.
This is not true. I had less than two weeks between conception and a positive test. With a typical cycle your period would be due about two weeks after conception.
Maybe he’ll take you for dinner too when you become his ex!
Okay, so you seem to want to be moving forward at a rapid pace and are not focusing on anything other than this guy whose super busy.
My advice, find someone with more time if this is what you want.
Compatability matters, I've had my own experience with one sided libido, it sparks resentment that grows into a wildfire the longer it goes on. Everything else can be perfect but people have needs. Like marriage, kids, finances, if you two want different things, it's not going to work out. Hopefully you can end things amicably, explain that it's an issue for you, that you don't want or expect her to change. You can still love her but not be right for each other, people telling you to suck it up are projecting their own unhappiness. To me they sound like “my parents fought constantly but they loved each other, so why is it a problem when we fight?”
What a shitshow you've put yourself through. Considering your gf isn't your first choice, that's where the problems start and you'll never be truly happy together because the “what ifs” with the other woman is still a major thought.
I cant believe your gf hasn't dumped you over this! Have you even put yourself in her shoes or only thought of yourself?
Do your gf a favour and break up because you're being stupidly selfish about it all. I hope the other woman rejects you too because she's going to be the rebound.
I think it's a sign that she recognises that you care and that you love her. If it becomes a thing she does regularly perhaps have a conversation about how lucky she is to have a dad already but that you'd love and feel very lucky if she picked a special name for you that only she gets to you (papa, pops etc). This is mainly for the sake of her dad who clearly cares and is involved.
If you don’t want to live! with your brother it sounds like you’ll need to find a way to buy your mom out and move.
Agree
Sounds like it's time to part ways.
It's a stupid point because most people don't seek out these situations and find themselves in it but because they have had this experience a lot they are projecting it onto all of society.
Exactly.
But that is true though. It’s factually true that it might not work out especially in the context of them having been separated for 2 years. It’s insane that she wants him to get a vasectomy to show his commitment. How about seeing that you still love each other and want to be together the rest of your lives, and then deciding on permanent forms of birth control? Him not doing something that will change his body directly, for someone who it might not work out with, is a smart decision. That doesn’t mean he is committed or doesn’t want this to work. It’s about the likelyhood that they can break up again seeing how it’s happened once.
Wow this is honestly completely spot on
That's a bizarre leap from nowhere
Because half the people on this sub are complete disasters of insecurity and jealousy.
With their mindset, a bisexual partner could have ZERO friends. You could never go confide in someone, grab a bite to eat, go for a walk, hang out inside when one is feeling bad.
Because all these immature people can think about is getting cheated on. Which is either very telling of the partners they choose, or of their complete and total insecurity in the relationship
Red flag 1 – he wants to get married for housing. Red flag 2 you want to get married for medical reasons.
You are tripping. Seeing you respond to all these reasonable logic and advice just shows the problem is you OP. You are insecure and don’t trust your gf. I am willing to bet the issues you had in the past with her “leading on” past dudes were similarly like this situation now. And nothing came out of it since your gf was never engaging in infidelity. She is just using her own methods to stir these dudes away without escalating anything.
I give her props for being clever. And if I was her, seeing you exhibit this behavior is a red flag to leave. Especially if this happens more than once.
I hate to say this OP but, it kinda sounds like maybe your Dad crossed a boundary with her. Maybe he tried to hit on her? The fact that she won't tell you what happened until your dad is dead raises huge red flags.. Whatever happened is something really bad in the sense that it will destroy your relationship with your dad and family. However, I sort of feel like she WILL eventually tell you.. she just needs time.
If you're giving ultimatums, you are already in a bad place in your relationship. Your gf is comfy using you as a fallback, while she continues to be irresponsible and blows her money on tattoos. Meanwhile, you are paying the bills of a woman you are not even married to, and jeapordizing your own financial future with nearly zero hope of payback. I would find this behavior in a partner, ie, your gf's behavior, to be an extreme turnoff and a black mark against their character.
My man…you’re not fully into her anymore, you socialize alone, you are embarrassed at the thought of marrying her… listen, you tried to make it work after infidelity, it clearly didn’t . Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and break up. She’s not going to change (she’s still keeping secrets and lying and texting behind your back) and you are not going to get over this. Love yourself enough to allow yourself to find the love that you are worth because this isn’t it.
Nope.
It is no because you are immature. It is because you are changing, getting independent and he is afraid of it.
All these photos of your cakes and your hopes to succeed didn't bother him before you got your first sale.
Geez, this guy can't win at all. Your prior post about you thinking he hit you while you slept or something is ridiculous.
exactly! In other subs it's usually just a randomised username or a load of random numbers, not some cheesy name
I never thought about it from this point of view before – my brain is just trying to make sense of things. That’s very helpful, thank you.
If my partner EVER lunged at me like he was going to hit me or make any physically threatening move toward me like that, that would be the LAST time he did it. Either he fully comprehends when I tell him that under no circumstances will he ever threaten me again, or we are done right then and there.
Your bf is using physical threats to win arguments that he feels he’s other wise losing, or simply doesn’t bother applying the mental resources to work through. Either way, he is manipulating you to get you to agree or stop challenging him. And he’s doing this with 100% success. Can you see being shut down like this on any disagreement forever??
You say “Nonsexual” and laugh it off.
However, a lot of men feel very unwanted even if you are having sex with them, so there is value in planning and executing a nice night of seduction- focus just on him for a change, candles, soft lights, the whole shabang. So, don't undervalue the benefit of a seduction.
Don't under estimate “My you are handsome”, random hugs with meaning and sometimes just giving a gift of space and alone time without demanding he pick up this, drop off that, or do some favor for you.
Thank you, I think you're right on the money 🙁
He’s not giving you an accurate reflection of yourself, and he’s bringing out the worst in you. I would not judge yourself by anything you hear from him. Or anything you feel or do in response to him.
I'm having such a naked time with this.
No. Of course not, I just read what I wrote again and it looks completely insane.
Very sad that you have to make this head over heart decision due to the financial pressure that is placed on people in your country to spend money they don’t have with no way to pay it back
Do not wash your boyfriend's roommate's laundry. That is crazy. If your boyfriend has a roommate who lives in the same room, WHY ARE YOU OVER THERE ALL THE TIME? Do you not have your own home?
Thank you. Honestly, it's nice to not feel like I'm nuts for not being okay with this.
Could it be to do with his testosterone?
Is it an iPhone…. Go to the text messages, click edit at the top left of the text messages and then click recently deleted, boom all text messages recently deleted in past 30 days
Honestly it’s your wedding and that role is a very important one to anyone, usually one you have the utmost respect for. If you decide for the two of them to share it, I’m sure stepdad will feel hurt that you see them as equal role models.
Why do you care what the internet thinks about your relationship? If you feel that you’re not mature enough to make decisions like that on your own, maybe you’re not mature enough for a relationship.
Honey.
Can you explain to me why this would qualify as cheating?
What is “cheating” to you?
Deleting old texts generally doesn’t qualify as cheating
Dump
Forgot to mention she may knowingly have an std and is not telling him
If she’s actively trying to harm herself you cannot be responsible for guarding her mental health, she needs professional intervention. You are not qualified to do this job and it’s far more responsibility than a partner should shoulder. Is it possible to call for a well check or report she’s suicidal? I’m not sure where you are but social workers and law enforcement where I live! WILL get involved for mental health reasons, even if it’s just to have her evaluated. A good therapist might be able to help her figure out how to leave her abusive situation at home.
This is something to discuss with him – only he knows if he's going to find it disrespectful or emasculating or if he's going to be in favor of getting married at all, and we can read his mind even less than you can. I know hetero men who are for their girlfriends proposing and men who are adamantly against it, and it doesn't always align with their pro/anti woman stances. Lots of guys say they're pro feminism but actually have such fragile masculinity that their female partner out earning them or proposing to them would send them into a tailspin. But I've also seen other cases where the guy's genuinely a good man and is overjoyed with his future wife proposing. If you don't know how he's going to feel about it, you don't know him well enough to propose and you shouldn't do it until you're actually sure.
Lawyer yes. But you ultimately don’t have a say in if he’s in their life. He’s has every right to go to court and establish paternity and get visitation. I hope this all works out for you all. Not a sun situation especially if you have valid reasons for not wanting him around.
I'll leave her if I were you. The relationship youre in is a horrible one. You shouldn't always be strained mentally because of her drinking problem. Leave her, let her life collapse, it's her life and she's the only one who can fix this drinking problem.
–]HeroDanny
-174 points 2 days ago*
She belong to the streets lmao
edit: call me gross all you want but I'm not the one who got ran through by half the dudes in the college dorm Lol
The venn diagram of people who believe women always win court because of favoritism and misogynists is a circle.
If you don't like it and you now have the money to move out, do so.
You can either get your own apartment or rent a room with people who you have no particular connection with (roommates whose only role in your lives is to share in the rent).
OP,
STOP, proceed with caution.
Maybe his parents slept in separate rooms, maybe not. If he is in therapy, then maybe you need to ask to join in so you can get to better understand him. This way he does not shut down on you and you know how to proceed with him.
You stated that this sounded immature, well if he has a therapist, there is more going on then your realize. This might not be what you want to sign up for. Or as stated above, go to his therapist with him.
Thank you. It's very encouraging to read all that. Like I said In another post, I think I'm just frustrated and not seeing things clearly. I'll definitely get more information and proceed more carefully.
We were broken up for a month. He slept with her two weeks after we broke up.
I’ve recommended professional help before but she always says no angrily
Yes, a bit rude of him imo if that's what happened.
My worthless two cents . . . take them for what they are, just my opinion.
From your comments, it honestly feels like you’re looking for an excuse to leave her.
I don’t believe what some are saying about your wife cheating on you. I just think she has been through a traumatic thing, and it’s not over with. They had to leave 20% of the cancer in her and now, she’s on watch and wait to see how rapid the growth is. Just think about that.
It’s NOT over for her.
She’s trying to give everyone around her as much as she can—especially the kids—in case it comes back even stronger.
Everyone except you, which IS strange and worrisome. Did you do something to upset her? What kind of husband have you been during this entire thing? Besides being super focused on her lack of affection towards you, even though you admit it could be hormonal.
The thing is, you don’t have to worry about having cancer or dealing with the fact that everyone is waiting to see how quick the cancer comes back. You’re not lying there at night—after everyone has gone to sleep, alone in your head with your worries and fears as your body battles itself.
She does and that has to feel lonely and hopeless.
You’re hurt because she won’t be affectionate to you, but all I see is an exhausted woman trying to get through the day.
Maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe you are genuinely concerned about your marriage.
Maybe you don’t mean to come off selfish and self-centered.
Maybe I need more coffee so I can reread everything again and reassess.
Would it soften your hurt if she stopped giving your kids 100%?
Whatever your reasoning for this post, try and be patience and loving even when she can’t return that love. I bid your wife a blessing…may she fully recover.
So you think I should stay with my husband or get with my other man?
You can contact the therapist, can you convince him to do couples therapy with her?
Dangerously deluded.
You're no victim, that's for damn sure. People drop their own family's narcs for much less than this.
girl it was over the first time he cheated..look at you now, you are paranoid, dont trust the guy and are waiting for the other shoe to fall…
but I was very stupid and naive
well if someone is exposed for what they are, then you can no longer be naive…ignoring what that person does and is, does kinda make you still 'stupid'. anyways, just find a new person who hasn't cheated on you. its not gonna work out and you will have these exact feeling for the entirety of your time with your cheater. Just move on, you will love someone else I assure you
He knows my phone is automatically on night mode when I sleep. I even mentioned this last time that please still text me so I know. I woke up again last night thinking he wasn’t okay but he wasn’t home
First time nerves. If he's going to get better he needs someone who is willing to communicate and teach him, and you don't sound like that person.
Tell him to find an older, more mature woman and come back after he's learned a few things. ?
At least you kept your sense of humor.
When is that meeting with her parents?
Well… you are going to look as if some childrens make up course had gotten berzerk on mommys eye shadow and smeared all the purples, greens and yellows around your eye.
Thank you, I truly appreciate it
maybe I would care if I respected your opinion, or believed you'd ever been in a relationship with anything but your house plants.
May be he is protecting himself
This is exactly how you “both sides” a situation needlessly to let off the clearly problematic person. Don't ever take advice from commenters like this.
I surprised you didn t dump him that day treating you like that. Went to watch game just left? turned back to you. WOW!!!
????
“I also don’t understand the gatekeeping of certain things. If you want to learn French (for example) and she want to learn French too then it sounds like a great shared hobby to have for a couple. Most couples complain that they don’t have much in common”
Precisely my point of view.
He actually sounds pissed that she even doubled him on matters who initially where his interests first.
Personally I think it’s a problem when it interferes with your performance in real life.
If you’re taking care of your partners needs and available when they want it, then it’s naked to see how there is a problem.
But as you noted earlier, it’s easy to cross that line where it starts interfering.
Despite how you feel wronged, don’t let her quit her job and then dump her, it’s super scummy. I mean do it if you intent is to make her suffer, but if you just want to break up the ethical thing I’d to do it before she can quit her job.
Let him know that you saw the message while you were playing the game. Tell him it concerns you that she would tell him to cancel plans with you to take her out to dinner instead. Inform him that crosses a boundary and made you uncomfortable.
This is dangerous. Most colleges will schedule a makeup for finals with proof of hospital admission in the event of a medical or mental health emergency.
No My didn't go to a private school his whole life. His first few years he went to a public school in another district with his brothers while his dad worked his way up. Idk when they made the switch but it was sometime after his dad got a finical footing Also the few times I've meet him I've noticed he's kinda old. Like I haven't met him that many times and never asked his age but he looks like he had his kids in his early 30s or something so he wasn't at the bottom bottom But at this point who knows
And not that he knows how it played out, he's be doing it a lot more.
I understand. I tried to explain that wasnt my intent but nobody believes me. It is what it is.
Also try to get some kind of proof that he didn’t rape her incase she tries to claim he did after he breaks up with her to get revenge for breaking up with her. She sounds cookoo
It's been just 4 months and you are feeling this way already about it all. Do you really want to waste any more of your life dealing with this?
I'm in the same boat so I feel you. I lost my wife of 8 years back in October and we started dating when I was 22 ( dated for 2 years before marriage). She was my longest relationship I've ever had and I don't know of I will ever find someone who loves me as much as she did, but I have to not give up on life. I don't know when I'll be ready to start dating again but it sounds like your rushing into it. When you spend every second of every day for years it's naked to do things you loved because you have no one with you that you can share the experience with. She made me a better man and taught me to take it “one day at a time” and just slow down and enjoy life while you can.
You go. If she cannot see you’re concerned FOR THE LIVING, she should. If she really can’t then there is a problem. Her family is still there to support her – where is yours?
I only see 2 comments and it said there are 9. Where are the other 7? Reddit is acting weird
Brad is bullying Jake, don’t take anything he says about Jake seriously
Ooof. There’s no easy answer, especially without knowing way more background info. But you start by knowing your worth as a human is NOT tied to what’s between your legs. Your BF treats you like shit and has no respect for you, I think you know that. Respect yourself and give yourself grace.
unless the person pregnant is a sibling or extremely close family member, continue with your plans
Apologizing to someone you dated for 2 weeks when you were 15? No don’t reach out to her. She doesn’t care. It’s creepy and is going to upset your wife.
I had no idea what her plans were. All I got was that she was hanging out with friends. I didn’t know if they were going out to the bar, staying in and chatting, etc. There was no way I could’ve known based off the text I received from her