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Stand up , ❤ [Multi Goal]
Date: November 5, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Wow. I would laugh when someone requests a designer anything and say I don’t even have that. How about something more in my budget. I would tell your family one by one as they make a ridiculous request that you can’t finance their life with your husbands money. It’s not right. It’s funny people say things like oh so and so married rich and got new friends I guess she doesn’t need us anymore…. well sometimes it’s because you find out your friends are now using you and treating you differently. So you end up with friends more in your income level to avoid all that disparity and drama.
Get out as soon as you can. Clearly sounds like he’s cheating. Regardless if he is or not, it seems like you can’t be yourself anymore. Go find your happiness hun
Yeah this is really the only way he should put her name on the house.
Stop having fights? He sounds like he's got waaaay too much drama to be worth dating.
you where dating him and blew another dude, sounds like you just made excuses in honesty, your both a pair of dumpster fires but you also royally fucked his trust i imagine. learn from it and move on. best only talking to one guy only in honesty too. Two wrongs don't make a right but he has abandonment anxiety but you dont seem like you give much reverence to the fact you had an affair first….
Im not asking if the children should be put back in the system, I don’t know what country you’re in but it’s pretty messy in most countries.
My question was more about getting your situation resolved because it doesn’t create a good environment for them. I know that’s not your intention.
The only problem also isn’t that you’re being punished – it stems from the fact that you fundamentally disagree on something pretty major that’s happened. She’s not forgiven you because she thinks that you’ve emotionally cheated and you don’t agree, so she’s lashing out at you because she thinks that you can’t make amends without accepting the truth
That being said, it’s never ok to tell your partner ‘I could have 20 other people instead of you’ when you’re supposed to be resolving your issues
Like I said it will be prolonging the same outcome. Oh it WILL go well. She will again be hiding her thoughts and feelings and stuffing emotions until she eventually spirals and meets down and these spirals will get worse. I can tell you will have to learn this for yourself, though and that’s ok, I did too.
And after the baby #1 you had children with him because…?
Gave her children? Oh what planet are you living on that men can get pregnant? I want to move there too.
There are some people who believe income is a personality trait. Usually they make and attract terrible partners.
Yep that’s definitely what I don’t want to be
The mood swings are typical. Look up PTSD …everyone goes through certain well defined stages after being traumatized by betrayal.
I think this is a very sweet answer, even if it is not quite what you're hoping for. You need say “I know that you love me for how much I love and care about you, but what specifically makes me the one for you? ” or “What is your favorite thing about me?” That seems to be the answer you want.
He’s a judgy prick
Yes it was for her , her husband can use her car but it was for her. Because she was generous to me. Not her husband.
Exactly. I also told him that in some cultures it's okay to make 9 year old girls marry 30 year old men so he should stop using that “but everybody here thinks like that” argument.
Your relationship is transactions, and he's trying to control you.
You do what you want to do. If he can't support it, he's holding you back. That's not what a healthy relationship is.
Don’t be his babysitter.
Get and have your own life, don’t let him take your youth and turn you into his own personal bang maid babysitter.
Oh! I didn’t realize it was over! Is that why you keep participating? Dude, two hours on Reddit isn’t over. Good luck with that on this site… ?
Yea his father setting a top notch example for him and his half brothers, cheating is ok as long as you yourself obtain happiness
That behavior gives me strange&negative vibes so I distance myself from people like that. She seems off but You said you've been friends for a long time and you're keeping her so just ignore it. Delusional people are just that.. delusional. ❤️
RUN FORREST, RUN!
Tell her that she either needs to stop asking you, or believe that when you answer that you are telling her the truth.
And if she doesn’t believe you, then the next time it gets like how you describe in your post, stop her. Tell her that you are answering honestly, and her continuing to question it is making you think that she doesn’t believe anything you say.
Then if it happens again, tell her no. Say there is a mirror in [where ever the mirror is] and you are not answering any questions like this again. Tell her that her insecurities are her problem to deal with as she hasn’t valued you enough to believe what you say.
I simply do not enjoy the company of bigots, and being family doesn't change that. You can't apologize for your behavior and continue to do the same exact thing and expect people to want to be around you.
Your advice doesn't seem to be in good faith, people change all the time. In this very message you say she can't change then turn around and say that she is changing.
She has a history of crossing boundaries and not following through with her promises and apologies, regardless of if I accept her apology, I asked for advice on how to communicate what I expect from her IF I accept it. You telling me to, “just get over it” isn't helpful and is actually really shitty.
Her age isn't an excuse for her to be hateful, and I don't want hateful people in my life.
So what? What if he begged you to keep it? I think it'll only complicate things.
Why not?
I do. I was stationed in Japan years ago. As a single man in the military I experienced some of the best moments of my life while there.
The only thing I can say is while there enjoy the highs and lows(if any). What you experienced was a nice high manual ride, that almost got shifted to 5th gear, but didn't. You enjoy it for what it was and move on. ??♂️. You have plenty more opportunities there.
Tell your wife that if CPS were to knick on the door right now and see the dog situation in the basement, they might take your daughter into foster care for living in a neglected home. That's disgusting, and abusive to the animal. Also, COS would call AnimL Control, remove the dog, and fine the shit out of you. This isn't a tenable situation. Stop it.
My opinion after reading what you wrote is that you opened the relationship out of fear, rather than thinking it through and seeing if it was the best choice for you to deal with your anxiety and attachment issues to permit fiance to fuck someone else?
Have you engaged in any meaningful therapy to address this? Perhaps to see why you gravitate to situations like this that require you to compromise your values and security to hold on to something that isn't mean to be held on to? Perhaps to see if your highly sexual nature is a cover to avoid deeper, emotional connections which expose you to more hurt and upset when they fall apart or someone strays? In other words, you distance the fact that your fiance is engaged in another relationship with someone which has emotional connections that you write off as just a sexual outlet but deep down you know that there is risk he will leave you for her? Do you think you rushed into this situation and are quickly and perhaps foolishly trying to modify the nature of the relationship to mold to his whims, and your fears, all along while the very last thing you truly want is for him to be with someone else on any level?
I would highly and strongly recommend you get some insight into why you choose these paths and whether they are the healthy and best, since now you are also responsible for two little ones who didn't ask to be born. To me, it is like you assume someone is going to shoot you and rather than wait for it to happen, you are shooting yourself first.
I know you're ultimately right… but I'm just too afraid to even develop new friendships. This just feels inevitable.
Just spend the money and let him stew til he gets over it.
What outcome do you want if you do find out that he cheated all those years ago?
If your ultimate goal is just peace of mind, but staying married then my suggestion is to just ask him. Let him know that it has been weighing on you all these years and you just want a truthful answer. You know your husband much better now than you did then, so you should be able to get a better read on him when he answers.
Wait… your wife wants to get a tattoo to memorialize her EX? Yeah I'd be livid. I can't believe the amount of people supporting this.
Get a tattoo of one of your exes… preferably nude.
None of this matters.
But the ex isn’t throwing a tantrum over it.
It reaks of codependency.
So, why are you with someone who treats you like this?
NTA divorce
I know people don’t like to say this when it happens to men, but if you were so drunk that you don’t even remember her being at the party, in my opinion it sounds like you were taken advantage of. No one should have been trying to sleep with you in that state. I’ve seen some people suggesting she lied to you about the pregnancy to get you to break up with your ex, maybe that was the next step after taking advantage of you. I would get away from her as soon as possible.
I do know someone who shit his pants on a first date and now he’s happily married to the girl soooooo…. ?♂️?
Why would they exchange phone numbers? Is he a plumber and she needs one? Nothing good could possibly come from exchanging phone numbers. ?
ok I see, thank you
I think this person is making a joke. Like pointing out the absurdity of it. No, the universe doesn’t revolve around you. They will most like hardly talk about you, unless you do some weird possessive type thing, then they may have a reason to talk about you.
It’s much easier to accept a number and then do nothing with it. Than to politely say no and be harassed and tried to have it forced upon you. Yes she was in a gym setting but it’s safer to do that than to potentially put herself in danger by saying no.
I would be pleased she feels comfortable sharing this with you.
It is rape and if he doesn't think so have him explain the situation to the police or his mum
I might just skip dating and focus on my life and kids
Some guys have weird views on rape. I think you'd be wise to speak to a counselor as you're clearly struggling to understand and accept the reality of what happened to you.
But it will also allow you to discuss how fucked up your fiancés response and treatment of you is. I hope you're able to shift your focus away from worrying about why he's mad and instead start asking yourself why you're not.
You deserve better. ❤️