Well you both need to agree boundaries. If it’s ok for her or have make friends then it’s ok for you have female friends. It works both ways. It can’t be one rule for and one for you.
if they were goofy and dumb filters why would your friends find that sexual that makes no sense? The real question is do you think he can earn back your trust now because his false accusations have ruined that, would he be willing to do the work, whatever you need him to, to get you back. Also do you want him back if he is willing to do this work?
IMO: Either she was wasted and completely oblivious or she did this 100% intentionally. Either way, it’s not really up to you to fix the relationship. If you want, you can tell her you’re still feeling weird about it. If she reaches out, just let her know that it was really inappropriate and hurt your feelings because of how insecure you are and how she knows that. If she apologizes, maybe you can move on, but it might be awhile before you can trust her again the way you used to. If she dismisses you or acts avoidant, I wouldn’t invest any more time in the relationship until she apologizes or acknowledges your feelings.
There could be many factors such as making sure you're having a good time, insecurities, self-conscious, or even a sliver of a chance that he's catching feelings for you.
No kidding. My dog was only w her first “family” for a few months before they dropped her off at the pound bc she was “too much dog.” We got her pretty quickly; she was only five months. It took probably five years before she learned to completely trust us. It did not take much to fuck her all up and give her horrible anxiety for YEARS. She’s a pretty happy dog now, but omg if I could meet that first “owner” face to face…
OP, rehome the dog! Now!! Any more of this abuse and neglect and that dog will take even longer to heal.
I just don’t get people who aren’t supportive of their partner trying to change their habits/lifestyle for the better.
Not everyone has a willpower in the beginning and one the ways to make it work is to eliminate all temptations that could side track your progress.
Those dumplings were side tracking her progress and Op clearly should of asked her if he could eat them at home next to her or if she would be more comfortable if he ate them before arriving home so she didn’t felt tempted to have a dumpling.
This is exactly what you said, a “situationship”. I dont think it's meant to be anything more and the connotation with the word is pretty negative.
He's showing you signs that this is nothing more than what it is; by not calling hanging out as dates. I think he is trying to separate situationship life from anything “real”
he doesn’t want to call anything something he doesn’t think we’re ready for.
This is really fair in my opinion. He's telling you what it is and doesnt want to lie of give you the inclination that it is anything but that. He is afraid of hurting you because with the truth, youre not getting what you want out of it; emotional intimacy and stability
Eh? Of course it makes a difference if she meant it or not? It’s the difference between “I’m emotionally immature and lashing out” vs “I’m homicidal and a danger to your life”.
My ex kept me on a string for a few months after I discovered her affair by saying she “didn't know what she wanted”; I finally sacked up and met a lawyer and served her. Cheaters will not do anything for your benefit. Remember that. They care about one person, and you're not that person.
I get why people in the old days had 4+ kids…half of them would die to illness and you wanted to be sure some kids survived. We’re way past that kind of danger now and people are still having giant families. You can’t spend enough one-on-one time past a certain number of kids. In big modern families, there’s tons of neglect that happens.
As well-intentioned as parents can be, the reality can be really difficult for the children.
This is so utterly utterly confusing. Other than OP all the other major players are just horrible horrible people. OP should have been told immediately- what kind of garbage people actively hide their child’s partner cheating on them. Who in the freaking world would still be pushing to reconcile years later!?!
There are two things that cannot be compromised on in a relationship without causing a LOT of resentment.
Marriage and children. You need to dump him. You not wanting kids and him specifically wanting more than one is a deal breaker no matter how badly you don't want it to be. Children don't deserve to be born to a mother that never wanted them and the way your boyfriend acts on this subject, he will 100% expect you to do a majority if not all of the heavy lifting when it comes to caretaking. You will not only resent your bf for pushing you into having children but you will resent the kid/s bc you never wanted them in the first place.
Why did you structure your comment like that? Seems like a poem lol
Well you both need to agree boundaries. If it’s ok for her or have make friends then it’s ok for you have female friends. It works both ways. It can’t be one rule for and one for you.
She’s being mean but his response is shitty. You deserve to be beautiful to your significant other
if they were goofy and dumb filters why would your friends find that sexual that makes no sense? The real question is do you think he can earn back your trust now because his false accusations have ruined that, would he be willing to do the work, whatever you need him to, to get you back. Also do you want him back if he is willing to do this work?
IMO: Either she was wasted and completely oblivious or she did this 100% intentionally. Either way, it’s not really up to you to fix the relationship. If you want, you can tell her you’re still feeling weird about it. If she reaches out, just let her know that it was really inappropriate and hurt your feelings because of how insecure you are and how she knows that. If she apologizes, maybe you can move on, but it might be awhile before you can trust her again the way you used to. If she dismisses you or acts avoidant, I wouldn’t invest any more time in the relationship until she apologizes or acknowledges your feelings.
What more did they need to say? They invited you, you said you'd come.
There could be many factors such as making sure you're having a good time, insecurities, self-conscious, or even a sliver of a chance that he's catching feelings for you.
No kidding. My dog was only w her first “family” for a few months before they dropped her off at the pound bc she was “too much dog.” We got her pretty quickly; she was only five months. It took probably five years before she learned to completely trust us. It did not take much to fuck her all up and give her horrible anxiety for YEARS. She’s a pretty happy dog now, but omg if I could meet that first “owner” face to face…
OP, rehome the dog! Now!! Any more of this abuse and neglect and that dog will take even longer to heal.
Exactly!
I just don’t get people who aren’t supportive of their partner trying to change their habits/lifestyle for the better.
Not everyone has a willpower in the beginning and one the ways to make it work is to eliminate all temptations that could side track your progress.
Those dumplings were side tracking her progress and Op clearly should of asked her if he could eat them at home next to her or if she would be more comfortable if he ate them before arriving home so she didn’t felt tempted to have a dumpling.
If your wife is being this controlling now, I feel bad for your child. Your wife needs help like, yesterday.
This is exactly what you said, a “situationship”. I dont think it's meant to be anything more and the connotation with the word is pretty negative.
He's showing you signs that this is nothing more than what it is; by not calling hanging out as dates. I think he is trying to separate situationship life from anything “real”
he doesn’t want to call anything something he doesn’t think we’re ready for.
This is really fair in my opinion. He's telling you what it is and doesnt want to lie of give you the inclination that it is anything but that. He is afraid of hurting you because with the truth, youre not getting what you want out of it; emotional intimacy and stability
Don’t do it. It’s going to end in a disaster. Just leave the client with limerance that they’ll have to work through themselves.
Did she smash your spine with the hammer as well? Why are you married to this parasite?
Eh? Of course it makes a difference if she meant it or not? It’s the difference between “I’m emotionally immature and lashing out” vs “I’m homicidal and a danger to your life”.
My ex kept me on a string for a few months after I discovered her affair by saying she “didn't know what she wanted”; I finally sacked up and met a lawyer and served her. Cheaters will not do anything for your benefit. Remember that. They care about one person, and you're not that person.
Enjoy your limited, narrow minded, judgemental life
Well what did she say back?
And they wanted 5.
I get why people in the old days had 4+ kids…half of them would die to illness and you wanted to be sure some kids survived. We’re way past that kind of danger now and people are still having giant families. You can’t spend enough one-on-one time past a certain number of kids. In big modern families, there’s tons of neglect that happens.
As well-intentioned as parents can be, the reality can be really difficult for the children.
Exactly. I think once the person starts receiving mail there it establishes residency (to a point) then come the tenants rights.
Gratitude means nothing if you are still behaving this way.. Its like telling someone you love them but still treating them like shit.
What you need to is move out, be in dependant, then your mum would be free to have a life and not have you being rude and lazy to put up with.
I'm so confused as to why the “current” is bugging you when youre literally the current gf????
This is so utterly utterly confusing. Other than OP all the other major players are just horrible horrible people. OP should have been told immediately- what kind of garbage people actively hide their child’s partner cheating on them. Who in the freaking world would still be pushing to reconcile years later!?!
There are two things that cannot be compromised on in a relationship without causing a LOT of resentment.
Marriage and children. You need to dump him. You not wanting kids and him specifically wanting more than one is a deal breaker no matter how badly you don't want it to be. Children don't deserve to be born to a mother that never wanted them and the way your boyfriend acts on this subject, he will 100% expect you to do a majority if not all of the heavy lifting when it comes to caretaking. You will not only resent your bf for pushing you into having children but you will resent the kid/s bc you never wanted them in the first place.