28 thoughts on “Asunalovee online webcams for YOU!”
You wouldn't have been this confused, if you had checked all those messages. It is completely okay to check her messages if she shows signs of cheating. Chatting with this guy,who she said was flirting with her even if she told him that she is in a relationship, is inappropriate. You should have checked it immediately when you saw him calling her baby.
Check now to see if she has deleted those messages. If yes then, its a huge red flag. If it is not see if she has replied to him or not. If she has not ask her why she has not yet blocked him like you did.
How is he supposed to do that if he is your carer? Seems like he has an adult sized anchor around his neck that would keep him from having any relationships. Maybe you should quit getting involved in things that are absolutly none of your concern. Can't have normal friends when someone is holding him back from a normal life.
Well like, you wouldn't care but your partner obviously does? So maybe you guys have different views of sex and its meaning to someone.
It's not manipulative of your partner per se – they are telling you how they wouldn't do that because they wouldn't want it to create problems in your relationship. It's clear they don't want to ask you not to go, but will be unhappy if you choose to do so because it will be clear that you are putting your feelings / your “friend's” feelings ahead of theirs.
In a way, your partner is saying they would put your feelings before theirs.
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The fuck does that mean? 1) more productive as in get her drunk to lower her inhibitions and try and take advantage of her? 2) What does polite coffee date mean? Not trying to grope her and get her hammered to take her home and try and fuck her? 3) Oh I had a lot of fun in my youth. 4) Didn’t you say to someone that women cheat when something is wrong in a relationship? Have you said that before?
I think the best thing here might be to let him sink/swim on his own.
Perhaps give him a few days, then reach out. “Hey! I haven’t heard from you in a few days. Just checking in to see how you are.” Hopefully he’ll reply back and fill you in.
Only you can decide how much of this you can handle/accept. So if he’s just a mess and not trying to even communicate with you a little bit and you decide to take a break with him, then you do that. While I understand that you care about him, you also need to take care of yourself to make sure your mental health and well-being is good.
Jesus Christ. It’s like two teens got married and think their partner can read their minds instead of talking. What are you gonna do when you’re separating, divide which legos goes to whom?
You make good valid points. And I'm happy that this is your reaction.
I'm not a psycologist. But I'm guessing that your guy is dealing with complicated feelings between being socialized to desire sex as a man, and still being self concious about his body. The result is defensiveness.
Your best course of action is be accepting of his vulnerability and demonstrate that he can trust you. When you have trust, deeper intimacy will be possible.
If you actually had real feelings for her and knew that you wanted to seriously date her, I could maybe give you a pass on having a mature, sober, daylight conversation with her about that.
But “shooting your shot” at the bar because you finally realized she's very hot is gross. Thinking she's vulnerable because her bf sucks and acting like it's ok to maie a move is shady.
Omg I once had this happen to a guy and it was traumatic. Blood all over the place. I’m sorry to you and you’re boyfriend that you’re having to deal with this. I know how frustrating for both of you it can be
Yeah I'm not a councillor or anything, but all those things seem more like a friendship than a relationship.
I'm sorry to tell you this but just because things get serious, doesn't mean that you have to go through with them, you know? If you still don't know if you love her after 8 months you don't need to wait another 8 to find out. It seems like you are wasting your time and hers.
Arguing is a very good example in this situation: it is a very essential part of building a relationship. I'm not saying you should yell at her for no reason, but when two people don't argue it is either because they are a perfect match (and those don't exist) or because you aren't comfortable discussing about your thoughts, traits and plans and that shows that you can't be open with eachother.
If you want to start the conversation again, on a serious note, then maybe start off the conversation with:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking about the game we played the other day…. About our relationship and finances. If one day we joined out finances what do you think out finances will look like?”
Your body is going to change after 6 years. That’s a fact. If he can’t handle the idea of you changing (shape, size, you name it) then he needs a reality check. Women are human beings, human beings will grow and look different throughout their lives.
I’m proud of you for your health journey. Don’t let him put a damper on it.
I’m a woman who has never wanted or received a stuffed animal, and I can’t think of a single girlfriend of mine who’d want a stuffed animal – honestly, I can picture most of my friends laughing or getting upset if they received a stuffed animal on a special occasion. I’m sure there are people out there who do want one, but I don’t agree that women loving stuffed animals is the norm.
How is that way more pressure? It’s relevant to the immediate future involving your job and your living situation.
I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say here. “What do you see with me” is more pressure because it forces a discussion about the specific relationship future and timing -basically exactly what you dread about the marriage question.
“What do you think about marriage/do you think that’s something you want” is a question many people can answer regardless of relationship status. “Yes, I do want that someday.” “Never.” “Yes, but not for at least another 10 years.” “Maybe, but I prefer to go with the flow.” Etc.
Easy! (For most people.) It is absolutely not required to pseudo-propose or say “if things work out between us I see us married within X years.” If the other person pushes for something specific like that, you can just turn it around on them and get their expectations. If they won’t take no for an answer, that’s useful information to know about a potential partner.
how they feel about marriage, which will almost certainly become a conversation about do you see us getting married.
Ah, I think this is the key to our misunderstanding/different views here.
Looks like we have very different experiences with this question. As previously discussed, I find it easy to answer the marriage question in a general way- though I agree it’s harder to do given the “exclusive” timing. That’s the main reason I prefer to get it out of the way very early, before either party has any real hopes or dreams attached to the answer.
I agree marriage is irrelevant if they have other glaring dealbreakers, but it’s at the very least equally important to many people so it doesn’t really make sense to be completely excluded from the discussion. Especially if the views on kids, etc do align.
It is simultaneously the least and most important question. The least important right now, because a million other things will influence whether or not this person is someone you will want to marry.
You could say the same about kids. Asking someone if they every want kids isn’t the same thing as asking them to impregnate you. Just like asking if someone is eventually interested in marriage isn’t asking them to marry you.
You wouldn't have been this confused, if you had checked all those messages. It is completely okay to check her messages if she shows signs of cheating. Chatting with this guy,who she said was flirting with her even if she told him that she is in a relationship, is inappropriate. You should have checked it immediately when you saw him calling her baby.
Check now to see if she has deleted those messages. If yes then, its a huge red flag. If it is not see if she has replied to him or not. If she has not ask her why she has not yet blocked him like you did.
How is he supposed to do that if he is your carer? Seems like he has an adult sized anchor around his neck that would keep him from having any relationships. Maybe you should quit getting involved in things that are absolutly none of your concern. Can't have normal friends when someone is holding him back from a normal life.
Maybe it’s from your kids daycare..
He's full of red flags!!!!
Well like, you wouldn't care but your partner obviously does? So maybe you guys have different views of sex and its meaning to someone.
It's not manipulative of your partner per se – they are telling you how they wouldn't do that because they wouldn't want it to create problems in your relationship. It's clear they don't want to ask you not to go, but will be unhappy if you choose to do so because it will be clear that you are putting your feelings / your “friend's” feelings ahead of theirs.
In a way, your partner is saying they would put your feelings before theirs.
Are you willing to do the same for your partner?
Just all this fretting over gifts and scorekeeping and “bragging” to his friends. It's just so much.
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The fuck does that mean? 1) more productive as in get her drunk to lower her inhibitions and try and take advantage of her? 2) What does polite coffee date mean? Not trying to grope her and get her hammered to take her home and try and fuck her? 3) Oh I had a lot of fun in my youth. 4) Didn’t you say to someone that women cheat when something is wrong in a relationship? Have you said that before?
I think the best thing here might be to let him sink/swim on his own.
Perhaps give him a few days, then reach out. “Hey! I haven’t heard from you in a few days. Just checking in to see how you are.” Hopefully he’ll reply back and fill you in.
Only you can decide how much of this you can handle/accept. So if he’s just a mess and not trying to even communicate with you a little bit and you decide to take a break with him, then you do that. While I understand that you care about him, you also need to take care of yourself to make sure your mental health and well-being is good.
Jesus Christ. It’s like two teens got married and think their partner can read their minds instead of talking. What are you gonna do when you’re separating, divide which legos goes to whom?
Cut contact. Block. Move on.
I am sorry but it sounds like he likely has another relationship, possibly marriage somewhere else.
Dumb kids
How can she not see this is beyond me (not trying to victim blame here)
You make good valid points. And I'm happy that this is your reaction.
I'm not a psycologist. But I'm guessing that your guy is dealing with complicated feelings between being socialized to desire sex as a man, and still being self concious about his body. The result is defensiveness.
Your best course of action is be accepting of his vulnerability and demonstrate that he can trust you. When you have trust, deeper intimacy will be possible.
You're not wrong. It just sucks.
If you actually had real feelings for her and knew that you wanted to seriously date her, I could maybe give you a pass on having a mature, sober, daylight conversation with her about that.
But “shooting your shot” at the bar because you finally realized she's very hot is gross. Thinking she's vulnerable because her bf sucks and acting like it's ok to maie a move is shady.
Contact a divorce lawyer. I am sorry. I wish you better days in your future.
You've left out key information that would help with advice–
1) How financially independent are you and
2) How willing are you to stand up to her and risk a fight?
Omg I once had this happen to a guy and it was traumatic. Blood all over the place. I’m sorry to you and you’re boyfriend that you’re having to deal with this. I know how frustrating for both of you it can be
Yeah, I just meant this whole story seems pretty fake.
Yeah I'm not a councillor or anything, but all those things seem more like a friendship than a relationship.
I'm sorry to tell you this but just because things get serious, doesn't mean that you have to go through with them, you know? If you still don't know if you love her after 8 months you don't need to wait another 8 to find out. It seems like you are wasting your time and hers.
Arguing is a very good example in this situation: it is a very essential part of building a relationship. I'm not saying you should yell at her for no reason, but when two people don't argue it is either because they are a perfect match (and those don't exist) or because you aren't comfortable discussing about your thoughts, traits and plans and that shows that you can't be open with eachother.
If you want to start the conversation again, on a serious note, then maybe start off the conversation with:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking about the game we played the other day…. About our relationship and finances. If one day we joined out finances what do you think out finances will look like?”
Your body is going to change after 6 years. That’s a fact. If he can’t handle the idea of you changing (shape, size, you name it) then he needs a reality check. Women are human beings, human beings will grow and look different throughout their lives.
I’m proud of you for your health journey. Don’t let him put a damper on it.
Then he needs to go back to therapy. You don't need to have your past repeatedly discussed. This one “hang up” can drag you down.
It's going to be very funny when he dumps you to get back with her.
I’m a woman who has never wanted or received a stuffed animal, and I can’t think of a single girlfriend of mine who’d want a stuffed animal – honestly, I can picture most of my friends laughing or getting upset if they received a stuffed animal on a special occasion. I’m sure there are people out there who do want one, but I don’t agree that women loving stuffed animals is the norm.
How is that way more pressure? It’s relevant to the immediate future involving your job and your living situation.
I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say here. “What do you see with me” is more pressure because it forces a discussion about the specific relationship future and timing -basically exactly what you dread about the marriage question.
“What do you think about marriage/do you think that’s something you want” is a question many people can answer regardless of relationship status. “Yes, I do want that someday.” “Never.” “Yes, but not for at least another 10 years.” “Maybe, but I prefer to go with the flow.” Etc.
Easy! (For most people.) It is absolutely not required to pseudo-propose or say “if things work out between us I see us married within X years.” If the other person pushes for something specific like that, you can just turn it around on them and get their expectations. If they won’t take no for an answer, that’s useful information to know about a potential partner.
how they feel about marriage, which will almost certainly become a conversation about do you see us getting married.
Ah, I think this is the key to our misunderstanding/different views here.
Looks like we have very different experiences with this question. As previously discussed, I find it easy to answer the marriage question in a general way- though I agree it’s harder to do given the “exclusive” timing. That’s the main reason I prefer to get it out of the way very early, before either party has any real hopes or dreams attached to the answer.
I agree marriage is irrelevant if they have other glaring dealbreakers, but it’s at the very least equally important to many people so it doesn’t really make sense to be completely excluded from the discussion. Especially if the views on kids, etc do align.
It is simultaneously the least and most important question. The least important right now, because a million other things will influence whether or not this person is someone you will want to marry.
You could say the same about kids. Asking someone if they every want kids isn’t the same thing as asking them to impregnate you. Just like asking if someone is eventually interested in marriage isn’t asking them to marry you.
You see what I mean?