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Date: October 24, 2022
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DO NOT DO IT.
She wants to help with the mortgage? Great. That's called rent.
If she has a problem with that – she doesn't want to help with the mortgage. She wants your house.
Red flags galore here, buddy. Do not cave.
This is rage bait. Nobody is that stupid.
I agree with you but I am not projecting any behavior or flaw onto him. I’m actually being prudent about that because I don’t want to do that but at some point we all come with luggages and I have the right to have a past as long as I’m not using it as an excuse to act. I know what can happen now, I’ll never be blind again, no therapy will ever undo that. I was naive, now I’m not anymore. I never once restricted him to go hang out or see friends or whatever so I really don’t see how I am projecting anything onto anyone. I have the right to be prudent I believe. But you may be right about the therapy.
As to the dinner part, I get what you are saying. The reason why I didn’t ask him out is because he already wanted to go out with colleagues and I’m not a second choice. I rather be alone than be with someone who would rather be somewhere else. It’s not the fact that he’s going out with colleagues that makes me sad it’s that he wanted to go out with them more. He knew I was free that night and still his first thought was to have dinner with his colleagues on their last night. If it was me, I would have tell them are you free another night. That is what is making me sad
By the way, when he told me he was going, that’s what he said: I’m going with colleagues on December 22, we are seeing each other on December 23 right? He didn’t ask me how I was feeling he was making sure that we could see each other the next day. And finally there’s a storm so we won’t see each other before December 28.
Honestly it’s the cherry on top of so many other things that makes me mad. When I was operated he rather go out on a bar with his friend to watch UFC rather than help me at home when I couldn’t even turn myself in the bed alone, the same day my family member died he found a way to make it about him and be mad because he couldn’t be into the hospital room to say his goodbye (he was not even close to that person and we wanted to be the closed family only), he had colleagues dinner whole summer and when I finally show up for one I realized his friend colleague (now ex colleague) had been flirting with him the whole time with him not doing anything about it, it’s so many things like that and honestly I’m thinking of breakup up with him at this point because I’m sick of it.
Anyway, thank you for your advice.
I don’t understand how you keep misinterpreting this exchange. Unless this is a novelty account for you and you’re doing it on purpose, which is possible, I guess.
Question – have you ever gone on a fishing trip the two of you planned?
I can understand but wanting to have you join guy time, it might not even be about you. They may have a girl in the group that always wants to come, they may use the time to talk about really personal things. Or they may just be sexist idiots.
However, if your bf knows you like fishing and won't even go just the two of you on your own trip then he has a problem with women doing “guy stuff” and he doesn't sound that great.
When I encouraged him to go out, he was very clear that he didn't want to go out with his friends that night because we already had plans. That's the issue. To me, it feels like he didn't really mean what he said when he said he didn't want to cancel our plans to suit his friends because that's exactly what he's after doing.