Tell him but approach it from an angle of doing something about it. Hair loss is only treatable if you get it early or you’re super rich it’s early enough he hasn’t noticed so it must not be terrible. Tell him you want to him that the time is now to care about hair loss because you know he cares so much and it’s important to him so it’s important to you.
You sound like you need to recharge your social batteries by having some alone time and she is clingy. You are well into irreconcilable differences territory.
I would take a break from her for a while and see if you are truly happier alone than when you are with her.
Bro. Unless you’re exclusive and she’s been std tested you need to use protection. This isn’t just about pregnancy.
And if she had sex with another dude earlier in the day yes giving oral might be gross, although to be fair some guys are into thst. But Months ago? Nah. Everyone has a history.
Typically, when you break up, you stop giving each other gifts. It’s not odd to me that she didn’t get you anything—not even a card. You’re legally married but you’re no longer a couple.
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Ummmm find someone and have a relationship. Figure you out first. Dude is scum and sounds like he wants you as a back up. I’d cut it off and date casually. How do you know what you want if you’ve been involved since 14 and he was 16? Seems sketchy
Nah, it's not impossible, but it's certainly rare. There's nothing misogynistic about it- we're just telling you how guys actually think. Hell- I was once that “friend” who hoped that the girl would break up and just get with me ( not anymore of course, but I digress ).
You’re a cheat and projecting. She’s hiding her activity which makes her actions suspect as well. You two are toxic together. Break up and get your act together.
Well… now you know. Maybe instead of denying it, internalize new knowledge. Saying “it's no big deal” makes it seem like you think you are the one to decide what is or isn't a big deal for other people xD you don't make the rules of other ppls feelings lol
he is complaining about his wife to another woman, receiving emotional support from another woman and then MOMENTS AFTER tried to make a sexual advance. if she is too naive to realize it fine but he is well aware of the emotional affair he is participating in.
All dynamics are good if they’re good for all involved. Red flag that something isn’t good for all involved? Double standards of behavior. Tell that bitch to grow up and stop sleeping with her immediately.
I mean you’re kinda proving my point while trying to say my point is invalid. Please read through my post again and point out where I asked how I can get my wife to give me more exciting sex.
All I asked is for a different perspective on the situation to help me understand better and advice on how to navigate my desire for more intimacy while respecting what she’s going through.
So ya I won’t feel bad pointing out the stark hypocrisy when I send out a sincere request for help and get pummeled with gross accusations and assumptions.
Sometimes people can’t be friends with their ex, either immediately following the break up and sometimes never.
You aren’t responsible for him, his feelings or his mental health—he needs to deal with those things on his own. You’re allowed to move forward on your own.
It's nice of you to think of her feelings, but it also seems a bit like you think you're the best thing that's ever happened to her and without you, her world will end. What if she is also having doubts and is nerving herself up to break up with you right this moment?
Anyway, about how you should do it: just be sincere and friendly, tell her you just don't feel it any more and want her to be free to be with someone who really wants her. Keep it short and don't try to soften it up with “we can still be friends”. Often, that doesn't work out if the breakup is one-sided and only results in further heartache.
The golden child deliberately set out to upstage you?
Typical golden child behaviour, heaven forbid you get any attention for your achievements.
Go to your graduation, you’ve spent years studying and doing prac to get to this point. And everything I hear about med school is it is tough and you basically don’t have a life. What a marvellous win for you. Please don’t blow it off. Gather your closest friends and ask them to stand in for your family.
Girl if you don't fucking go to your own graduation this whole subreddit will be fucking mad at you. I understand that it's a shitty decision but at the same time the answer is clear as day: Go to your graduation which you probably worked fucking naked for. You are living for you not for your family, be proud of yourself and get your ass to the graduation!
Also, it doesn't matter if no one of your family shows up or if some people there might pity you, I guarantee most people won't care and your friends will be happy to see you, you deserve that!
Good fucking job on becoming a doctor and have fun on your graduation 🙂
One theory—He's mad that you aren't upset at being replaced. He is hoping your world would be shattered and you would be jealous and beg for him back. He is mad that you are even keeled and haven't shown any dramatic emotional demonstrating of just how bad your life would be without him.
You simply told him your truth, that he's a manipulative lying alcoholic asshole, and you friends and family detest him because of his alcoholism and assholery. That's all pretty accurate information. It's not on you for speaking the truth, you're just the messenger.
He can either keep sucking down the liquor like a baby from it's bottle. Or he can do something about it and get sober.
Contact the police. Tell them the situation and tell them hes sending harassing messages, threatening suicide and you'd like tjem to do a well person check.
Unless you changed your clothes and put them in the wash right away (like my mom did when she smoked), she could definitely smell you. I was in a movie theater once and could smell the cigarettes on a guy before he even came around the bend to get to his seat. That’s an extreme example, but if you smoke it WILL cling to your clothes. You were really too lazy to go outside away from the house as well? If you can’t put in even a minimal amount of effort to not smoke inside/near someone’s house then you don’t deserve her. You may be a “gentle” person, but you are insanely selfish. You must have grown up around smokers if you really think it doesn’t smell bad and that she couldn’t smell you. No one smoked in front of me as a child besides me grandpa far away from me outside, so I can smell cigarette smoke easily, just like any other non smoker who didn’t grow up around cigarettes. You clearly love to smoke more than you love your now ex-fiancé. Like I said, either find a woman who smokes, or quit. Your life will only get more and more complicated if you continue to smoke, people nowadays do not want to be with smokers if they don’t smoke themselves because it’s a disgusting habit that harms everyone around the smoker. God forbid you have children and have “just one” cigarette around your kid, I’ve witnessed multiple times what second hand smoke does to children. You really should use losing a marriage as your motivation to quit, my motivation to quit vaping was I started swimming again and I got so sick that I woke up every hour, on the hour, suffocating on my own phlegm. You will only feel better if you quit, and maybe you’ll learn just how selfish you’ve been; clearly you are not seeing that.
okay im glad im not the only one who thought this is so strange! im super reluctant to even having him meet my friend, I want to disinvite him not but worried he might have bought his ticket already
Sounds like he’s on the right track to righting his financial wrongs in the past. Nothing wrong with questioning this for moving forward with a relationship. Someone put a prenup in a way that makes sense to me, it’s an insurance policy for both parties assets. Doesn’t mean you will break up, but it will cover your assets and yourself financially.
If he's going through a break up, she may be using language that is softer, more caring and shows more love than usual. I know if I have a friend going through a naked time I ramp up all affection to show them that they're cared for.
Thanks, I actually thought to myself that if we ever broke up I won't date anymore because it's too tiring starting the process over again, but I'll see where it goes a few years from now
Oh, Lord. No, you are not asking too much by asking him to do one simple chore. He's an adult, adults have to do things like clean up the place they live in – but he wants everything to be your responsibility and none of it his. You want one thing and he won't even do that without being asked.
Why are you okay with doing everything else? He's your partner, you're not his maid – all of this is just as much his responsibility as yours. If he won't even take out the garbage, then stop doing all of the things that you do and see how he likes that.
I don’t know, my boyfriend and I have been together for years and are quite serious but he still sends me videos and pictures. I don’t think those two things are related.
I totally understand that milestones are difficult and my only concern is it seems that these relationships were consecutive and it might have been beneficial to spend sometime single and process your grief independently. Definitely don’t break up with him if you feel like the relationship is good but telling your partner you don’t feel safe with them would suggest otherwise. Just think about how being a relationship is impacting your growth as an individual.
It’s also not fair to you to feel like you can’t discuss things with him and to never discuss it again because unfortunately, it is a significant part of your life.
Grief makes it incredibly difficult to have emotional control but more than emotional awareness also knowing how to control emotions and make rational decisions in naked times is a skill that will be useful to cultivate.
When he’s ready talk to him express that you know what you said was hurtful and that grief doesn’t justify it, but that it might come up now and again. And it doesn’t mean your comparing him to your former partner.
Also I feel you 100% on the local group being too old! Maybe there’s a remote option somewhere that might be useful?
Yeah you're gonna have to wait till he's old enough.
Yes and there is a restraining order as well he doesn’t live nearby anymore either
Tell him but approach it from an angle of doing something about it. Hair loss is only treatable if you get it early or you’re super rich it’s early enough he hasn’t noticed so it must not be terrible. Tell him you want to him that the time is now to care about hair loss because you know he cares so much and it’s important to him so it’s important to you.
Arousal is the body's way of protecting itself from being damaged. That's it.
It actually feels very good
I pretty much considered it harmless until the other day
You sound like you need to recharge your social batteries by having some alone time and she is clingy. You are well into irreconcilable differences territory.
I would take a break from her for a while and see if you are truly happier alone than when you are with her.
Is she a stay at home mom?
You can ask him directly, it's hot to tell based on your description.
Bro. Unless you’re exclusive and she’s been std tested you need to use protection. This isn’t just about pregnancy.
And if she had sex with another dude earlier in the day yes giving oral might be gross, although to be fair some guys are into thst. But Months ago? Nah. Everyone has a history.
My dad and mum have light hazel eyes, mine are dark brown like my grandmothers eyes.
You don’t just get eye colour genetics from mum and dad.
Typically, when you break up, you stop giving each other gifts. It’s not odd to me that she didn’t get you anything—not even a card. You’re legally married but you’re no longer a couple.
Thank you. Thats makes a lot of sense.
Further proving my point?
You’re probably right I’ve been unhappy with myself and dealt with depression for a couple of weeks due to my actions.
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Ummmm find someone and have a relationship. Figure you out first. Dude is scum and sounds like he wants you as a back up. I’d cut it off and date casually. How do you know what you want if you’ve been involved since 14 and he was 16? Seems sketchy
You’re paying her rent, don’t get it twisted
Yikes not gonna take opinion from a man who date his student.
Nah, it's not impossible, but it's certainly rare. There's nothing misogynistic about it- we're just telling you how guys actually think. Hell- I was once that “friend” who hoped that the girl would break up and just get with me ( not anymore of course, but I digress ).
You’re a cheat and projecting. She’s hiding her activity which makes her actions suspect as well. You two are toxic together. Break up and get your act together.
Wait till you get a good job and can live on your own then leave.
He probably broke up with you over the holiday so he could date someone else
Well… now you know. Maybe instead of denying it, internalize new knowledge. Saying “it's no big deal” makes it seem like you think you are the one to decide what is or isn't a big deal for other people xD you don't make the rules of other ppls feelings lol
Good for you. You’re way more civil than I am.
he is complaining about his wife to another woman, receiving emotional support from another woman and then MOMENTS AFTER tried to make a sexual advance. if she is too naive to realize it fine but he is well aware of the emotional affair he is participating in.
You tell them right off the bat, ASAP.
All dynamics are good if they’re good for all involved. Red flag that something isn’t good for all involved? Double standards of behavior. Tell that bitch to grow up and stop sleeping with her immediately.
I mean you’re kinda proving my point while trying to say my point is invalid. Please read through my post again and point out where I asked how I can get my wife to give me more exciting sex.
All I asked is for a different perspective on the situation to help me understand better and advice on how to navigate my desire for more intimacy while respecting what she’s going through.
So ya I won’t feel bad pointing out the stark hypocrisy when I send out a sincere request for help and get pummeled with gross accusations and assumptions.
So what is her motivation? does she like the attention, is she interested in him?
So check who is liking the posts, and who she responds to and how.
If it’s all above board, then chances are she’s just more self centred than you thought, and you either put up with it, or end the relationship.
If it’s not all above board, then you end the relationship.
The fact that you appear in none of her posts, shows that she doesn’t want you to be seen by her followers.
Sounds like your afghan boyfriend has some t*rrorist inside, seems enough for me to deport him I hope it is.
Sometimes people can’t be friends with their ex, either immediately following the break up and sometimes never.
You aren’t responsible for him, his feelings or his mental health—he needs to deal with those things on his own. You’re allowed to move forward on your own.
It's nice of you to think of her feelings, but it also seems a bit like you think you're the best thing that's ever happened to her and without you, her world will end. What if she is also having doubts and is nerving herself up to break up with you right this moment?
Anyway, about how you should do it: just be sincere and friendly, tell her you just don't feel it any more and want her to be free to be with someone who really wants her. Keep it short and don't try to soften it up with “we can still be friends”. Often, that doesn't work out if the breakup is one-sided and only results in further heartache.
then, what’s the point of waiting a year? Plan it out and do it. The house is just an extra reason to do it.
The golden child deliberately set out to upstage you?
Typical golden child behaviour, heaven forbid you get any attention for your achievements.
Go to your graduation, you’ve spent years studying and doing prac to get to this point. And everything I hear about med school is it is tough and you basically don’t have a life. What a marvellous win for you. Please don’t blow it off. Gather your closest friends and ask them to stand in for your family.
Go to the toilet. Just go, lock the door. Have a 20 minute sit (which seems normal with most men) and then come back.
Girl if you don't fucking go to your own graduation this whole subreddit will be fucking mad at you. I understand that it's a shitty decision but at the same time the answer is clear as day: Go to your graduation which you probably worked fucking naked for. You are living for you not for your family, be proud of yourself and get your ass to the graduation!
Also, it doesn't matter if no one of your family shows up or if some people there might pity you, I guarantee most people won't care and your friends will be happy to see you, you deserve that!
Good fucking job on becoming a doctor and have fun on your graduation 🙂
Duh! I get it. Staying away
One theory—He's mad that you aren't upset at being replaced. He is hoping your world would be shattered and you would be jealous and beg for him back. He is mad that you are even keeled and haven't shown any dramatic emotional demonstrating of just how bad your life would be without him.
Not disagreeing, but I'm curious what your reasoning is behind both of us being shitty people is?
His alcoholic shitfuckery isn't your fault.
You simply told him your truth, that he's a manipulative lying alcoholic asshole, and you friends and family detest him because of his alcoholism and assholery. That's all pretty accurate information. It's not on you for speaking the truth, you're just the messenger.
He can either keep sucking down the liquor like a baby from it's bottle. Or he can do something about it and get sober.
Contact the police. Tell them the situation and tell them hes sending harassing messages, threatening suicide and you'd like tjem to do a well person check.
Nope let's not compare it to a disease at all. This is like comparing women to banks that are not an object.
Unless you changed your clothes and put them in the wash right away (like my mom did when she smoked), she could definitely smell you. I was in a movie theater once and could smell the cigarettes on a guy before he even came around the bend to get to his seat. That’s an extreme example, but if you smoke it WILL cling to your clothes. You were really too lazy to go outside away from the house as well? If you can’t put in even a minimal amount of effort to not smoke inside/near someone’s house then you don’t deserve her. You may be a “gentle” person, but you are insanely selfish. You must have grown up around smokers if you really think it doesn’t smell bad and that she couldn’t smell you. No one smoked in front of me as a child besides me grandpa far away from me outside, so I can smell cigarette smoke easily, just like any other non smoker who didn’t grow up around cigarettes. You clearly love to smoke more than you love your now ex-fiancé. Like I said, either find a woman who smokes, or quit. Your life will only get more and more complicated if you continue to smoke, people nowadays do not want to be with smokers if they don’t smoke themselves because it’s a disgusting habit that harms everyone around the smoker. God forbid you have children and have “just one” cigarette around your kid, I’ve witnessed multiple times what second hand smoke does to children. You really should use losing a marriage as your motivation to quit, my motivation to quit vaping was I started swimming again and I got so sick that I woke up every hour, on the hour, suffocating on my own phlegm. You will only feel better if you quit, and maybe you’ll learn just how selfish you’ve been; clearly you are not seeing that.
Thank you, I think I will! I am running out of books tho… lol
Why post? Call her. Go to her. Help.
okay im glad im not the only one who thought this is so strange! im super reluctant to even having him meet my friend, I want to disinvite him not but worried he might have bought his ticket already
No.
Sounds like he’s on the right track to righting his financial wrongs in the past. Nothing wrong with questioning this for moving forward with a relationship. Someone put a prenup in a way that makes sense to me, it’s an insurance policy for both parties assets. Doesn’t mean you will break up, but it will cover your assets and yourself financially.
If he's going through a break up, she may be using language that is softer, more caring and shows more love than usual. I know if I have a friend going through a naked time I ramp up all affection to show them that they're cared for.
I'm surprised this post didn't get more traction – must have been lost in the algorithm.
You are probably having a crush on him because your fiance is not available. Is there any chance your fiance could make time for the 2 of you?
Definitely. So if she proceeds to cheat, it’s not a mistake. It a conscious decision to tank her marriage.
I don’t know why you came here to ask for advise anytime anyone asks or says something you seem to be making excuses for her.
Thanks, I actually thought to myself that if we ever broke up I won't date anymore because it's too tiring starting the process over again, but I'll see where it goes a few years from now
I really don't understand why you felt you had to lend him the money.
Stop doing him the favor of cooking.
It is very naked right now, I understand. Give yourself time, kindness and space.
Oh, Lord. No, you are not asking too much by asking him to do one simple chore. He's an adult, adults have to do things like clean up the place they live in – but he wants everything to be your responsibility and none of it his. You want one thing and he won't even do that without being asked.
Why are you okay with doing everything else? He's your partner, you're not his maid – all of this is just as much his responsibility as yours. If he won't even take out the garbage, then stop doing all of the things that you do and see how he likes that.
I don’t know, my boyfriend and I have been together for years and are quite serious but he still sends me videos and pictures. I don’t think those two things are related.
I totally understand that milestones are difficult and my only concern is it seems that these relationships were consecutive and it might have been beneficial to spend sometime single and process your grief independently. Definitely don’t break up with him if you feel like the relationship is good but telling your partner you don’t feel safe with them would suggest otherwise. Just think about how being a relationship is impacting your growth as an individual.
It’s also not fair to you to feel like you can’t discuss things with him and to never discuss it again because unfortunately, it is a significant part of your life.
Grief makes it incredibly difficult to have emotional control but more than emotional awareness also knowing how to control emotions and make rational decisions in naked times is a skill that will be useful to cultivate.
When he’s ready talk to him express that you know what you said was hurtful and that grief doesn’t justify it, but that it might come up now and again. And it doesn’t mean your comparing him to your former partner.
Also I feel you 100% on the local group being too old! Maybe there’s a remote option somewhere that might be useful?