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/BADNINAX., 26 y.o.
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Date: October 27, 2022
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Sketchy
How is your communication outside of this topic? Is he usually open with you? Does he share his feelings on things? His thoughts or thought process?
If he usually does then there must be a very serious reason for why he’s refusing to talk to you about it beyond his statement. I’m concerned that he’s agitated by you simply asking how his day is going.
I think as his wife I’d sit him down and explain you understand he doesn’t want to take any promotions or bonuses, you won’t push him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. However, you would like him to know you are here for him, to talk to. That you are very worried about him, that over the last x amount of time he’s become very upset with work, not just the it’s affecting him home life, becoming very short with you when you are simply asking how his day is going without any explanation. Tell him you just want to support him, but you can’t if he keeps you at arms length. That he appears to be carrying a large burden alone when he doesn’t have to, he can share it with you. Or at the very least go talk to someone he feels comfortable with for whatever his bothering him.
At least that’s my best guess at advice, to reassure you’re there to talk to and you’re very worried about him.
Thanks, I will. If you don’t care why are you still responding? ?
This sounds abusive.
Abuse tends to escalate.
My opinion is “get out while you still can”
This!!! Is awesome!!!
Agree with this, but this is what society tells women they have to do. Can’t bring up marriage or else you’re “crazy” and “pressuring him” so let’s just go on for years and definitely can’t propose yourself because that’s “unromantic.”
You did nothing wrong. You shouldn’t apologize for that. Give her some time but if she can’t let it go you should be clear that nothing bad happened and that you cannot change the past.
Get her professional help, be there for her that’s all you can really do. Encourage her about the world like, not every man out there is trying to get in some girls pants, it’s just “impulse,” at the end of the day… Let her know not everyone out there is a bad person, it’s alright to be wary of people to a point though.
If it’s stressing you to a point…
Break up with her, honestly girls think they’re entitled to everything nowadays. I’m only putting this out there because I’m mad at the way females are nowadays. Like, I’m not a bad looking person, not a bad guy in anyway.. all girls want/wanted was sex or to get into our pockets for money. And now they want to be noticed, and then there are those that don’t want to deal with it at all, they shut themselves out. Believe me I understand, but if you are going to judge every single human being who is a man out there to be a creep, then to me you are just delusional. Females are different than guys. You may say I don’t understand females, but that is not entirely fair because females don’t understand us either. Now all this fucking around is turning the world upside down, and destroying at the end of the day. Turning trans or gay — I’m not for that tbh, and honestly if you guys wanna downvote this comment then by all means do it. But someone has to take the sacrifices and put comments like these out there because at the end of the day we answer to him, and I’m pretty sure that god didn’t want us to be this way. That’s all guys, I love women honestly I have no quarrels out there about genders I just wanted to put this out there, to wake you all up. Thank you.
It's in the post
I got her to calm down and she confessed that she got pregnant on purpose in hopes that I would stay with her.
She was afraid he'd find someone better.
It's very clear that you love your animals way more than your bf. In addition, he is just not an animal person. If I were you, I would call off the engagement-promise situation.
You clearly implied you could care less, hence why OP asked why you cared at all.
FYI, The correct way to word what you wanted to say,
“I couldn’t care less…”
Yes it will.
Good lord you're immature.
You're not his mother, get out. Ask yourself this question: can you see yourself starting a family with him?
Dont make the same mistake I did, married 13 years and he has been unemployed the whole freakin time “working on” his own business. Have a 3 year old now and my ex made my life hell
Please be satire please be satire
For many, love cycles through relationship phases as you move through life. We certainly change as people over time, and the way we feel does too. Don't expect teenage love to last a lifetime without ever maturing.
Over time most of us feel closer or farther away from our partner as we go through life together. What do you think would bring the spark back?
i’ve been seeing a lot of videos on tiktok recently where girls ask their boyfriends if they wash their ass in the shower and they say no, the water runs down and takes care of it. so sadly i think it might be more common than we realize lmao.
Say absolutely no to it.
I’ve even shown him photos of me dressed up when we went out in the past as proof that I do dress nice and he dismissed it by saying “anyone can do that”
The lion the witch and the audacity of this bitch.
So lemme get this straight he expects some kind of HIGHER standard of appearance from you that is BEYOND the capabilities of what everyone can actually achieve??? ?
Youre a fricken doctor, thats your skill that not anyone can do. If he wanted a super trophy wife who puts their effort into clothes he should've married Malibu Barbie.
Yep and she cheated on me with him
Leave now, and when you do, tell her that when she’s robbed, to go somewhere else for sympathy.
Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel watching her wanting to hang out with someone she was in love with in the past?
You sound like you got an attitude problem if you ask me, you talk about her mom like she’s some crazy person when she just cares about her daughter. Maybe she’s a bit dramatic with calling the college to get you in trouble, whatever.
Stop being a child and apologize to her mother if you have a shred of love for your girlfriend
They think sex before marriage is a sin not it is a sin in general
Broo??
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Although you should definitely try to educate him on the subject of sexuality and gender identity, i think the more important thing is he agrees that he would love his children regardless, although you should probably establish if he has any issue with “queer influence” given that you yourself are bisexual and inevitably your children will grow to know other queer people and ideally you’d be raising them to be accepting of such things.
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Your husband’s reaction is quite strange, it sounds like he doesn’t trust you? If I told my husband something like this he would comfort me first and then we would laugh our asses off at the neighbours. I think you need to have a real talk with him about how the incident made you feel and explain that his reaction was hurtful.
How could you not interrupt??? That is so traumatizing for a young child. Take action, and now. You can go to therapy later to help yourself pick better men but right now you need to get your daughter AWAY from this man before the verbal abuse escalated into something even worse.
Yeah, this. Why divorce and then try for custody, when the parents already agree to give her up? Stay married for now, adopt the girl, then in the divorce you actually have legal rights to remain her parent.
“Washing the dishes is not the same as fucking your husband.”
It is when you approach fucking your husband like its a chore.
For me, fucking my wife is like a long needed nap after 16 hours of nude labor. Its like water in the desert. Food after fasting for 3 days.
For OP, fucking her husband is like washing a sink full of dirty dishes.
Do you know how much cheating goes on in the finance industry? It would have been like snapping a finger for me to cheat on her, and no one would have known. But I never wanted to do it and here you are saying I am resentful for not cheating. But thanks for the laughs anyways.
Cut off that friend. He's toxic. You are 100% responsible for your actions, but you don't need some asshat encouraging you to self destruct your relationship.
Other than that, time. Time, taking responsibility and listening to what she needs. This isn't about you, it's about her. Take responsibility but don't expect her to make you feel better – that guilt and disgust is all yours to handle. Follow her lead, show her care and consideration, and don't take for granted that you're going to get past it – she's processing and that takes time.
Do Redditors take a class on how to choose the worst partners?
Do Redditors take a class on how to choose the worst partners?
Do Redditors take a class on how to choose the worst partners?
When you say heated argument – I gather it wasn't like: he caught his wife cheating and rather than punch a person, he picked an object?
Short of catching a cheating spouse, there is no reason to turn to violence.
To say it was as punishment, literally means it wasn't a reflex, he deliberately lashed out.
I probably wouldn't stay if there have been other signs.
Addicted to sports, gambling, weed, video games. What a catch.
Picture this in; 5,10,15 years from now, when you’re married and have kids, he still has “5 more min in the game”. Or is too high to function. Do you see him as a good “father figure”?
To be honest, Guy is 27 going on 17. Doubt he’ll ever change, unless he has a true awakening.
Look up shelters. It’s nude to imagine because you’ve been in this hellish situation so long, but even a rickety bunk bed in a room with a bunch of other people who mostly leave you alone is better than sharing an apartment with someone who goes out of their way to hurt you.
Get out like your life depends on it.
Being undressed around other women is completely normal for most women. Nudity by itself is not something to be ashamed of. We come into this world nude. Should babies be ashamed?
Perhaps you should be more careful and make sure you knock before entering someone else's room. What do you expect to see when you enter a woman's closed door without knocking?
Make your peace with it because she’s a grown woman who can make her own choices?
The above commenter is just being rude. Your English is fine.
“I think I’ve hinted enough times that I don’t want to get into any serious long term relationships that I’m in it for the fun.”
NO. NO HINTING. TELL HIM EXPLICITLY. “Hey, sure, I’d be glad to go out with you sometime. Just so you know, I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now. I’m only looking to date casually, for fun. So if you’re looking for something more serious, I’m probably not the person you should be dating.”
Yeah, uh, nope. Just nope. Your BF's vacation and the way he's acted would be an instant dealbreaker for me. Take this time to get your ducks in a row regarding your living situation.
She's out for attention, don't play her game.
Walk away, let her online her life. Appreciate what you had, understand you’ve come to a place that she doesn’t want to be in any longer and accept that.
I don’t like him anymore. And unfortunately the jobs can kick him out but I can’t
This feels very unsympathetic and overly dramatic.
It doesn't sound like he had an unfortunate accident he had no control over. Imagine the same reaction in a reverse situation or when getting your period.
Why would you throw away sheets because they got poop on them? Why not just put them in the washer on a nude wash cycle?
If you wver plan on having kids…you'd end up buying a lot of replacements if you throw away everything that gets poop on it…
What does your husband do for a living?
Well, if they were drunk, they might. Whiskey dck is a thing, and plenty of guys can’t get it up when drunk enough. Now, did they *try to have sex? Yeah. Absolutely. The only way she’s telling the truth is if he physically couldnt have sex, not because they decided not to out of some perverse sense of morality.
He didn’t open a dating app to speak to other women? And you don’t think this idea came from anywhere?
Oh. So you knew this wouldn’t work out for you yet you went for it anyway?
What do you want to do? This is obviously about you
The right thing would’ve been to leave Eve before the hookups/touching at all.
I could see this going so many ways but I feel like you know what to do. Break up with eve. She deserves better. But now what? Date Kayla? Congrats. Now you see eve at every family event and she resents you because Eve won’t talk to her now
That's genuinely a good idea ?
Honestly, I had two kids at 27 and worked full time, how do people find time and energy for even more relationships and buggerising around?
There are no norms or formulas for this sort of thing.
slapped me in the face too nude (lovingly)
uhm what lol?
“Age is just a number, it's never been a problem in our relationship” [Proceeds to give every classic problem with age-gap relationships]
Only OP's girlfriend from out of town would be here berating who she thought was OP's husband so their plans to go out and get wasted at the bar aren't foiled!
Yeah the whole thing makes me think it’s a MH crisis more than anything
It sounds like this guy has a very unhealthy attachment to you. He’s trying to isolate you, which can become very dangerous territory. You should be able to have your own friends and interests and so should your partner. It sounds like he’s so obsessed with you that he’s losing his individuality and is starting to completely revolve around you. You need to get out, this kind of thing only progresses into more abusive cycles.
It weird. Bring it up to him, and see what his response is.
Have you tried genuinely complimenting him in every day situations? Light joking insults can start to grate when you never get compliments. Guys who generally have their shit together and are awesome, almost never get complimented in society. On the rare occasions you get feedback, if it’s kind of negative, it can hit way harder than it should.
Regretted it as soon as it happened apparently, but spent 3 days organising a hotel while telling me she wasn’t interested in other guys
Replace the whole man.
This wasn't some elaborate trip that required a lot of planning or a time-sensitive appointment, it was something like going out for coffee. Your soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend's reaction is completely out of proportion to the minor inconvenience of seeing his girlfriend slightly later than planned.
For comparison, because I actually like my girlfriend, if she oversleeps a casual date like this, I'm happy for her that she's getting the sleep she needs and happy that I get to see her a little later than planned anyway.
If you're leaving out important context like you not respecting his time or being late for things being a chronic pattern that you're not taking steps to address, his reaction is a bit more understandable, though I still think extreme; having a conversation or several to figure out how to adjust expectations and planning so that he's not relying on you being punctual and to mitigate the degree to which it's a problem if you're not is the ideal response, not angry outbursts. It's just than in this case, you might be able to address the problem by finally having those conversations and getting on the same page – it seems that it's at least possible in that case that the problem is less fundamental relationship incompatibility or toxic tendencies on Boyfriend's part and more a lack of communication.
But it could still be a more fundamental problem, especially if this outburst has no rationalizing context. Does he behave like this a lot, picking fights over minor things you've done “wrong” (and maybe not even things that actually impact him at all)? Does he default to blaming and punishing you when there's any disagreement or conflict between you two instead of approaching you with affection and in good faith to try to figure out a mutually agreeable resolution? If either of those – or both – sounds familiar, I'd say he's not capable of healthy relationships at this point, and you should break up – you don't need to stick around allowing him to mistreat you while he sorts his shit out, and that's assuming he even recognizes the problem and starts working on it (a professional counselor might be helpful).
At the very least, you need to have conversations about expectations both for time management/planning and for conflict response. Best wishes, OP.
because you cheated and you don't love her?
Drop him and go NC. She can have. Get tested.