Basically just pick your battles. If something is really really bothering you be careful how you present it, use i statements instead of you statements
This is understandably a tough situation. The thing I’d suggest you consider is that her actually telling you her feelings is a better outcome than some alternatives… it afforded you the opportunity to work on yourself.
Years ago I was in a similar situation. I went from being in extremely good shape to ~185lbs at 5’7” due to a medical issue I was actively trying to get under control. My (now ex) wife did not have the decency to express her feelings which, while they would have been painful to hear, would have at least allowed us to talk through the situation and how I was handling it. Instead she cheated with a coworker that looked remarkably like me 20lbs lighter.
There is nothing wrong with placing importance on physical appearance at it relates to health. Your relationship started when you were in shape, and letting yourself go changes that. There is a difference between changes to your body from age/injury/etc and simply becoming sedentary. Provided you’re both on the same page that this is important to the two of you, integrating healthy choices (like the cycling you’re doing) should be good for the relationship. It only works if everyone’s cards are on the table, though. You do need to have a conversation with your wife about how you feel.
Oh, I was confused. Because this subreddit is for requesting advice.
Basically just pick your battles. If something is really really bothering you be careful how you present it, use i statements instead of you statements
This is understandably a tough situation. The thing I’d suggest you consider is that her actually telling you her feelings is a better outcome than some alternatives… it afforded you the opportunity to work on yourself.
Years ago I was in a similar situation. I went from being in extremely good shape to ~185lbs at 5’7” due to a medical issue I was actively trying to get under control. My (now ex) wife did not have the decency to express her feelings which, while they would have been painful to hear, would have at least allowed us to talk through the situation and how I was handling it. Instead she cheated with a coworker that looked remarkably like me 20lbs lighter.
There is nothing wrong with placing importance on physical appearance at it relates to health. Your relationship started when you were in shape, and letting yourself go changes that. There is a difference between changes to your body from age/injury/etc and simply becoming sedentary. Provided you’re both on the same page that this is important to the two of you, integrating healthy choices (like the cycling you’re doing) should be good for the relationship. It only works if everyone’s cards are on the table, though. You do need to have a conversation with your wife about how you feel.