Can his personal issues have prevented him from loving me. I was good to him, and he was initially attracted to me so I don’t know why that didn’t develop into love. When he was so keen at the start, saying how wonderful things are and how much he likes me. He was scared of losing me.
You are emotional manipulated and this has to stop. People who end theirselves are not announcing it to keep people to stay. Just go and online your life.
OP isn't being punished. He had his father his whole life.
The only people being punished are OP's dad and his daughter. She didn't know her father for her entire childhood. She never had a relationship with him. Who knows how many nights she lay awake wondering who he was or why he didn't want her. Paying for college is a small thing in comparison.
OP has his father his whole life. He got that relationship and grew up knowing he was loved by his parents. Now he's throwing a temper tantrum because he's not dad's one and only?
Hey Up-Town, First, thanks for such an in-depth response. I’m talking with my brother now about things and we talk thru your red flags. There are a few that are really hitting things on the head— the black and white thinking, the mental list of infractions, and the self-victimizing. Aside from that it can go either way, it seems that it’s all a bit more complicated. E.g. showings signs of these other things, but not embodying them totally. But yeah, some of those are very present in our relationship ?
You don't believe this. If the person you were dating was a closeted pedophile watching borderline CP, would you not break up? After all, breaking up for “porn viewing habits” is stupid?
dude I am surprised this is the first comment mentioning this. He is 30, she is 21, and they’ve known each other “for a while” ? So did they become close friends when she was 18 and he was 27? Or earlier? because that is just so weird.
Before my parents met, Mom was engaged to another guy. I had no reason to believe she ever thought of him. Mom and Dad were married for almost 40 years, until my dad died. They had a wonderful marriage.
One day, years after my dad died, I found my mom sobbing. At first, I thought she was crying about my dad, which she often did. That day, she was crying because she'd just found out her original fiancé, whom she'd never contacted in all those years, had died.
It didn't mean she didn't love my dad with all her heart, or that she ever would have left him or cheated on him. She was just grieving for someone she had once cared about.
When you're in a long-term relationship, like your gf was with her ex, and that relationship ends, you grieve. It is a loss. Even if you no longer love that person, even if you are much happier with your current partner, there is still a loss to grieve about. Grief is weird because once you think you're done with it, it can pop up like that and take you by surprise.
I think her emotions were normal, probably exaggerated by the drinks, and it probably has nothing to do with you. You should talk to her about it and ask if she still has feelings for him that would interfere with your relationship with her but avoid jumping to the conclusion that she's still in love with him.
“you're welcome, love you!” , this isn't very hot. I'm very confused by the comment section. If she wants to keep doing it she will, if she doesn't she won't.
He showed you his true colors once he got what he wanted. Don't waste your time and energy on a guy who can't be bothered to let you take a quick 5 minute shower after you were vulnerable and trusting with your body to him.
You said yourself you were thankful someone was there to witness how he treated you; were you really “smart enough” when you made the decision to go over there after what you’d already seen from him? Come on.
Jacking off to your friend’s social media is fucking weird and gross. I would not be able to see my husband as a viable sexual partner after that. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
You are correct, thank you. I’ve definitely been focusing too much on the conflict with G, but the real issue is that my boyfriend does not trust me and has not been open with his feelings. Pretty disappointing lol
Masturbation is your right my man don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If someone is trying to control even that part of your life is toxic .
Sounds like a bit of both
Can his personal issues have prevented him from loving me. I was good to him, and he was initially attracted to me so I don’t know why that didn’t develop into love. When he was so keen at the start, saying how wonderful things are and how much he likes me. He was scared of losing me.
I have people in my phone with their nicknames or whatever. Let it go.
You're gonna end up getting in a fight you won't win. Stop getting in fights for your girlfriend. It won't end well for you.
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You’re literally just talking to the guy and he’s already giving off waving red flags. You can find someone else.
You are emotional manipulated and this has to stop. People who end theirselves are not announcing it to keep people to stay. Just go and online your life.
I believe without a doubt that probably the absolute best thing you could have done for her was to break up with her. I feel that she deserves better.
To be clear, this is incorrect. She didn't say yes, so it's rape.
OP isn't being punished. He had his father his whole life.
The only people being punished are OP's dad and his daughter. She didn't know her father for her entire childhood. She never had a relationship with him. Who knows how many nights she lay awake wondering who he was or why he didn't want her. Paying for college is a small thing in comparison.
OP has his father his whole life. He got that relationship and grew up knowing he was loved by his parents. Now he's throwing a temper tantrum because he's not dad's one and only?
Talk to some of your friends you can stay with for a month or so to save up a deposit. Or look into a womens' shelter.
Can two people who grow in a different direction still be together.
Hey Up-Town, First, thanks for such an in-depth response. I’m talking with my brother now about things and we talk thru your red flags. There are a few that are really hitting things on the head— the black and white thinking, the mental list of infractions, and the self-victimizing. Aside from that it can go either way, it seems that it’s all a bit more complicated. E.g. showings signs of these other things, but not embodying them totally. But yeah, some of those are very present in our relationship ?
You don't believe this. If the person you were dating was a closeted pedophile watching borderline CP, would you not break up? After all, breaking up for “porn viewing habits” is stupid?
Everyone has that line, somewhere.
He wanted you to pencil him in for “chill”. He figured v day would be the day
dude I am surprised this is the first comment mentioning this. He is 30, she is 21, and they’ve known each other “for a while” ? So did they become close friends when she was 18 and he was 27? Or earlier? because that is just so weird.
Before my parents met, Mom was engaged to another guy. I had no reason to believe she ever thought of him. Mom and Dad were married for almost 40 years, until my dad died. They had a wonderful marriage.
One day, years after my dad died, I found my mom sobbing. At first, I thought she was crying about my dad, which she often did. That day, she was crying because she'd just found out her original fiancé, whom she'd never contacted in all those years, had died.
It didn't mean she didn't love my dad with all her heart, or that she ever would have left him or cheated on him. She was just grieving for someone she had once cared about.
When you're in a long-term relationship, like your gf was with her ex, and that relationship ends, you grieve. It is a loss. Even if you no longer love that person, even if you are much happier with your current partner, there is still a loss to grieve about. Grief is weird because once you think you're done with it, it can pop up like that and take you by surprise.
I think her emotions were normal, probably exaggerated by the drinks, and it probably has nothing to do with you. You should talk to her about it and ask if she still has feelings for him that would interfere with your relationship with her but avoid jumping to the conclusion that she's still in love with him.
Oh, man. That's so fucked up, I wouldn't even know where to start. Could you go to marriage therapy together?
“you're welcome, love you!” , this isn't very hot. I'm very confused by the comment section. If she wants to keep doing it she will, if she doesn't she won't.
This has to be a troll post. Btw, if it’s not, u still have a few years to have a baby. Ugh
He showed you his true colors once he got what he wanted. Don't waste your time and energy on a guy who can't be bothered to let you take a quick 5 minute shower after you were vulnerable and trusting with your body to him.
?
You said yourself you were thankful someone was there to witness how he treated you; were you really “smart enough” when you made the decision to go over there after what you’d already seen from him? Come on.
Jacking off to your friend’s social media is fucking weird and gross. I would not be able to see my husband as a viable sexual partner after that. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
Lol you came to a relationship advice sub and asked for opinions. No one said you had to like them
Use fake names and just try to clearly tell the story.
Bro needs dr Phil. Nothin else.
You are correct, thank you. I’ve definitely been focusing too much on the conflict with G, but the real issue is that my boyfriend does not trust me and has not been open with his feelings. Pretty disappointing lol
Don't have kids with him.
Divorce now, and do IVF with a sperm donor. If you don't have the money, sue him for half the IVF or the embryos.
Same. Dude's a moron or a clown or both. Probably both. Hq
Jesus… don't give financial control over your life to anyone.
Let things settle and get your money back while playing nice and then immediately open an account at another bank and move YOUR money into it.
Wow her response seems to show she just think of you as a sperm doner.