I'm 19F and I've been dating my boyfriend (25M) since 9th grade (currently year 1 in uni).
I've had B cups since puberty and I've been pretty insecure of my boobs since they are slightly uneven. However I've learnt to embrace them because they didn't bother me too much and the only person that has seen my boobs are my boyfriend who was always super appreciative of all of me.
However, since the beginning of 2023 I've been going to the gym and getting more toned. With my gym progress my boyfriend started continuously making comments that my butt and boobs "don't match" in size.
It came to the point where these remarks increased to literal conversation we would have during dates and lunch (taking about how my boobs were "too small now") and I confronted him by saying "what do you want me to do about it? Their not going to grow."
He surprised me by saying if I consented he would pay for me to get a boob job and told me HE HAD BEEN SAVING UP FOR A BOOB JOB.
Wtf??? He then said that since we were going to get married (we never talked about marriage before) he was investing in me because aside from my boobs I was absolutely perfect. He also called my boobs "his boobs"??? And said that since it meant to much to him I should really consider it.
He also took pictures of me and photoshopped it to have bigger boobs to show me how more attractive I would be. + He went low and literally started calling my boobs names knowing they were uneven and I was insecure of that.
Now, remember Ive been self conscious of my boobs since forever. Knowing my boyfriend lowkey hates them (thought he was cool with them so I was humiliated) mangled my self esteem and pushed me to get a boob job.
I got the boob job 2 months ago and I look super different. Obviously there is some swelling and it feels slightly fake but it's honestly super perfect looking and I don't hate it. It's getting softer by the day and I'm liking how even they are.
But I broke up with my boyfriend because I couldn't look at him the same way. The whole "his boob" thing and the months of boob conversation just made me see him in a irreversible, unredeemable light. And he pissed me off so much I kinda did this as a payback since he would pay for something he would never see and I just wanted him to be as hurt as I was. (I know I know I'm stupid and vindictive, thats why im here) Also it hurt like literal hell fire.
Now his family (we were all very close) and a lot of my high-school friends are cyber bullying me and calling me all sort of names: mostly calling me a g0ld d1gger and a wh*r3.
The past few months have been a whirlwind of emotions and I know I wasn't thinking straight + and the hate is getting to me. My boyfriend (now ex) is also furious that i did this and I have had to move.
He want to meet up and talk things over. He told me it was the last chance to make things right between us so im super conflicted. I feel like I did a horrible childish thing and maybe I should try to make amends with him or something idk. We have some wonderful memories together and he was my first everything so I don't want this to end this tragically – I still do love him
TLDR: Basically the title.
Please be nice sorry this was a mess.
Do I go meet him? Go no contact? Forgive him? Call him?
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