Me (26F) and my husband (30M) have been together for four years. Living together for three and married for 10 months. I’m 7 months pregnant with our first child.
For context: I work 7.30-5pm. My husband works approximately 2.30-9pm depending on the day of the week.
I’m writing this in tears. Maybe it’s the hormones of the third trimester. My husband seems to do the bare minimum around the house. He’s always done less housework than me but it seems to be getting worse. He has not picked up any more of the slack during my pregnancy. Even in the earlier days when I was curled up in bed with morning sickness and vomiting repeatedly.
I come home from work today. Work is stressful. I’m in a high management position that deals with abuse and trauma constantly. He always jokes that I sit on my ass all day. Today was a prime example of that. He was calling constantly expecting me to be able to answer his calls, sort out our accounting stuff and leave work early so that I could inspect a house with him. I got angry and said I’m in meetings all afternoon and I just can’t leave early. I catch the bus to and from work. This adds approximately two hours to my work day. I am out of the house for approximately 11 hours of the day. We online five minutes from his work and he drives the car.
I come home:
– last nights dinner plates are in the sink plus his plates and the cookware from his lunch today. The only reason yesterdays plates aren’t there is because I washed them last night. – the dishwasher is still full of the clean plates. The dishwasher I packed and turned on last night. – dinner is not cooked. – his clothes are on the floor. The clothes I will end up picking up on the weekend to wash after I do the groceries and clean the house. – the laundry that has been dry for three days is still sitting on the clothes horse in the middle of the lounge room. – there is no evidence of him cleaning anything through out the day. The floor has the crumbs from his lunch on it. – there’s recycling sitting on the kitchen floor. The stuff has accumulated since I took it out last weekend. The bin is almost overflowing. Again, not emptied since the weekend by you guessed it-me!
I’m going out with colleagues tomorrow night for dinner. And I was sitting on the bus thinking about what I could cook for dinner tonight that would last him until tomorrow night. And I’m thinking how fucked that this. Pre-planning dinner for a grown man that he could cook it for himself.
I just feel like I’m on the verge of breaking down. I have no support here. My friends and family live interstate. My life is just going to work. To baby appointments. Maintaining the house. Researching childbirth and how to even care for a baby.
Is this what my life is going to be like when the baby is born… I’m so scared and tired. I say something to him and he gets better for a week before he slacks off again. I feel like I already have a child and I’m pretty much a single mother.
What can I do to make this better?
submitted by /u/pcmda
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