TL;DR Found a condom in my girlfriends trash can and she says it’s her roommates younger sister who left it in there. Tells me she’ll confront her, but will not let me be present when she does so.
EDIT: Neither the younger sister nor the roommate were home at the time of me finding the condom.
For background, I haven’t seen my girlfriend in two weeks prior to finding it. My car broke down catastrophically, and the day before I got into a minor fender bender. Over the course of these two weeks, we had gotten into two medium-intensity spats, and after she had become progressively drier and seemed uninterested. The frequency of her texts went down and they were less and less descriptive. This is almost certainly due to her job being more intensive, but a part of me can’t help but feel it was a precursor to what happened.
I finally pick her up from work and she’s immediately apologetic for being so dry while we haven’t seen each other and said she’s do better. Once i took her home yesterday, friday night, and as I’m throwing away a gum wrapper, I notice what looks like a condom and my heart sinks. Against my better judgement, I pulled it out of the trash can and it still had semen in it. I calmly called her downstairs and asked her why there was a condom in her trash can when we don’t use them. She sort of froze and after a few seconds began to tremble physically and verbally, explaining to me that she swore on everything that it wasn’t hers. She explained to me that while she was at her Dad’s Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, she had given her roommates younger sister and her boyfriend her room while she was away, as she was braiding his hair, and that they were the ones who used the condom and threw it in her trash can.
I asked her why despite it being 2-3 days old it was at the top do the trash can, visible, and she told me to look around her room and mentioned that she has several pieces of trash around. Coke cans, wrappers and the like, and that she generally hasn’t been throwing trash away for the past few days. She then got extremely angry and said that she was going to confront the roommates sister that did this and ban her from her room.
The next hour was me sitting on the edge of her bed trembling, and her staring at me and crying, both of us not saying a word. I expressed to her that this is the most humiliating thing I’ve ever experienced and that this is a knife to the heart. She spent the majority of the time saying that she loved me and that she would never throw away our relationship for something so ephemeral and stupid. Incredulously, I told her that I’d seen and heard that before and that everyone is going to say what they would and wouldn’t do in this situation. In the end, I chose to believe her. When I asked if I could be present when she confronted the friend, she said that I could not and that that would be breaking a boundary as that is HER friend and not mine. She said that if the situation were the other way around, she would trust me to handle it and relay the information. That rubbed me the wrong way.
I’ve known this girl for 6 years and have been dating her for 6 months, and in the time I’ve known she’s had 2 long term boyfriends that she’s still in good terms with and has, to my knowledge, never done anything this scummy. I want to believe her so badly, but everything in me is screaming at me to get out and believe that she cheated on me. I don’t know what to do and I’m afraid the copium is guiding me.
submitted by /u/Axeml
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