So we've been married for 7 years now, we have a 5 year old and 1 year old. A few months ago I found a video on my wife's friend's social media of her "dancing" with another guy. They weren't doing the hokey pokey, but the grinding her ass on his junk type. I confronted her about it, she said to her it was just dancing and didn't mean anything. Her friend had started recording so they all started dancing and she got caught up in the moment. She apologized and said it wouldn't happen again so I moved on.
Flash forward to last night. I went on her IG messages while she was at work (snooping is bad I know) but I've always had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. So I catch a conversation she was having with the same guy. It's only a partial conversation since she apparently deletes the messages as she talks to him. I just happened to time it right to find it. Anyway, it goes like this.
Him: Sounds like you need some soon lol
Her: Haha maybe. But we're going to the ivory coast in 2 weeks ? (this is where she is from and it's our 1st trip there since we've been together)
Him: Just maybe huh? Lol when do you leave?
Her: The 28th. Looks like maybe I could sit on it too ? Just maybe ?
Him: Oh that's a little min away. And just maybe huh? ? lol
It got deleted after that. So, this is obviously a conversation between the 2 of them to hook up before we leave on the trip. I confronted her this morning. First she said they were just joking. Then she said they were talking about her having sex with me before we left since we were taking 2 small kids and wouldn't have a private room. She keeps denying she ever cheated on me. Started crying and all. But I'm like… there is absolutely no way they weren't talking about hooking up. And to change the story like they were talking about me is such a bad lie. What man would be talking like that with a married woman about her banging her husband? Also, we live together so it's not like we couldn't have sex anytime we wanted. The conversation they had was clearly about trying to find time to hook up. That doesn't apply to me.
I really want to believe her, but I just cannot wrap my head around what she's saying. She 100% cheated right? There's no other plausible explanation right? I love my family more than anything and I don't want to not see my children every day with split custody. But I could never trust her again. Where do I go from here?
EDIT
She has now admitted that they were indeed talking about the 2 of them having sex. She says he messaged her and they started talking about how her and I aren't gonna have much time for sex on the trip. Then he offers himself for sex and thats where I found the convo at but continues to swear they never had physical sex. She also admitted to entertaining the idea of sex with him by not putting a stop to their talks.
I say to her, so you were lying about who the sex talk was about but you want me to believe you now? She's so full of shit.
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