Bit of very relevant back history.
We first met 6 years ago in my then job and we were just colleagues then. I split up with my ex 4 years ago roughly and we started seeing each other casually 3 years ago until she asked me if we could give it a go as a serious relationship just over 2 years ago. A lot has happened in the past 2 years – she had a preventive double mastectomy due to having the breast cancer gene, we both sold our respective houses, moved in together, got pregnant and I proposed 6 months ago. She has been telling me in the past few months she's so in love with me, can't wait to start our family and even wants more kids with me – we only planned to have the one but because she's so happy, we were even saying she was thinking about having another kid straight after our first is born so we could start our family before she has a hysterectomy due to the gene.
So she went on maternity last week and we have 2 weeks to go before our child is born. Sods law said my phone died a few of days ago so I asked her if I could use of her old ones until my new one came – she said of course and told me which one and said it should be empty really. Important thing to note here is that she actually has 2 of the same make but different models so by mistake, I grabbed the wrong one and logged in and said oh I thought it was blank. She said without thinking she must be baby brained again so to do what I want and delete anything I don't need.
After a short while, I start going through the phone and see she has conversations with her bestie in there and the last dates were just before we committed to each other. Basically, she was talking to her and literally weighing all her options up about having kids with before it's too late and she was going over her "backups" and I saw their chat about me. Basically the consensus was I was the shortest and oldest of her guys she was seeing but I had the best prospects – most stable job, best personality, most common interests, funny, good in bed and good looking even if I'm not her usual type. So she said she was going to give it a go and her friend encouraged her. Then I guess we started dating, the messages stopped when she was starting to go through her mastectomies and got a new phone.
I just went like "what the fuck babe" out loud and she initially was clueless but realised what phone I had. She was mortified and she was spiralling trying to explain herself but not making much sense. I literally told her to shut up, grabbed my stuff and walked out. I've booked into a BnB and have been staying here for a couple of days. She's been messaging me, sending video messages literally begging me to come home crying so we can talk. I can't face it.
I feel so fucking humiliated and used. I've gone from the happiest I've been in years to feeling like my last couple of years is a bit of a lie. I keep going through the messages on one hand and thinking of the way she's been in the past few months on the other – telling me how much she's in love with me, how happy she is, she wouldn't change the past couple of years and how much she's looking forward to starting a family with me. Saying things like she has an actual crush on me. Even just sends me texts with a love heart on.
I literally don't know what to do. Do I go back and talk? Or wait it out until she has the baby then go back and discuss it then? I am a literal mess Reddit.
Tldr; pregnant fiancée let me use her old phone and I discovered chats in it basically going over my Pros and cons as a backup before she started going out with me. I walked out feeling humiliated and don't know what to do.
Edited to add an update you're all right, I shouldn't just walk out and leave her while she's so vulnerable. I'm going to go home at least and be with her until the baby is here and we'll see what happens there. Can't say I know long term how I'll feel and what will happen or that I'm that happy but will tackle that when it comes.