Yesterday, we were placing an order over his phone and he said that he'll take a shower by the time food arrives. He left his phone with me as I was making the payment from my card.
Soon after he went to shower, there was a silent notification on his phone and it was red heart and it was from someone who he had met on tinder 3 years ago and he'd told me they no longer were in contact with.
I know it was wrong of me to check his phone and i wish I hadn't, but my curiosity got the best of me and ended up opening his WhatsApp.
He has an "Archives" section and i found multiple women in there. I realised all of the chats were in fact very recent (last week).I scrolled up to find unending texts dating back to last year so idk how long it's been on. I went through a few of them and there were sexts and partial nudes.
What made it worse is, i found his ex among them who I've hated the most because she used to gaslight and manipulate him.
We've been together for 3 years including 1 year of online in. I moved across the globe while facing so so much to be here. Having had a severly abusive relationship previously, taking this step had taken me everything to be here.
But here's the thing, i feel numb. Idk what to do. I don't know how I'm feeling. I know how I feel mentally – shattered and hurting. But for some reason I feel numb. I was supposed to see a therapist but haven't been able to due to lack of money and time.
Idk what to do. It's complicated. I have my finals on going now. Due to housing and financial problems, i can't move out too.
I just feel lost yet numb and defeated.
submitted by /u/huddle_puddle123
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