I have this friend Kayla (22F) and she and I have been really close since middle school. This all started because she wanted to go on a trip me and my boyfriend Kin planned, she packed him and her lunch and when he started feeding me the lunch she made him that made her lost it and started weeping in the backseat saying she was carsick. She told me I show off my relationship and I’m inconsiderate towards her and how she feels being lonely. My boyfriend was upset because I invited her and she completely ruined the vibe.
Anyways I made a post previously on this and decided to take the advice I was getting and set boundaries with her. I talked to my boyfriend about it and he sounded relieved and offered his support to me too. He said he wanted to also be on the call with me and at first I wasn’t sure because I thought she’d feel cornered. Kin told me he wasn’t sure how she would feel cornered and it’s not that deep because it’s not like I’m cutting her off but I guess that’s how she took it.
When I called her last night I told her we needed to talk about the trip we had and she said it was fine and she feels better about it but I told her I didn’t call about the trip to ask how you felt about it but more so how I felt. I told her that her packing lunch for Kin and excluding me came off as rude and she just got really quiet and asked me what I was getting at.
I told her that her getting upset because me and Kin are doing couple things on our couple trip was strange to get upset about and it made me and him uncomfortable.
She actually snapped on me and told her not to tell her how she should feel and how invalidating I was to her feelings but I said I’m not telling her how she should feel but it made me realize we can’t invite her to go on trips with us anymore.
She told me that’s not up to just me and if Kin is fine with it that’s that and that is when Kin spoke up and told her he’s not fine with it at all.
I think this really took her back because she was silent on the phone while Kin was talking. Kin told her that there are times when she makes him feel extremely uncomfortable and he just wants to spend time with just me and him but she insist on third wheeling us. He told her he understands she has a very hot time with social cues but she texting him without my knowledge was an inappropriate thing for her to do as a friend.
He told her that he’s my boyfriend and isn’t obligated to provide her emotional support. He told her that he always hopes she’s doing alright and is able to make more friends and widen her social circle but he’s just not that guy and not to contact him except if it has to do with me. I was a little surprised because I had no idea she was texting him and I could hear her breathing on the other end then she hung up. I tried calling her back and texting her but got no responses, then she blocked me and Kin.
I felt kind of nervous but Kin told me that I’m just too nice and we weren’t hard in her at all. When we went to sleep, we woke up with a bunch of messages from Kayla, Kayla’s mom and missed calls. Kayla’s dad even called my boyfriend and I was so confused!
Apparently after we got off the phone she had a complete meltdown. Later that night she send me messages about how she knew Kin before I knew him and they lived in the same neighborhood and she feels like I used him to gang up on her and how hurt she feels. Her sister texted me asking me what I did to her. I spoke to her mom and her mom told me she had to calm her down all night and asked me how this happened and if I told her we couldn’t be friends anymore and how I’m the only friend she has. I told her that wasn’t it at all.
After I explained the whole situation to her mom she didn’t have any words and apologized to me and said she’d deal with her. Her sister on the other hand told me having him on the phone without her knowledge gave Regina George vibes and probably intimidated her.
My boyfriend is unbothered about the entire ordeal and just went to shower meanwhile I’m in shock.
Were we too confrontational?
submitted by /u/Bannanna_La
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