My gf and I have been together for 8 months. During the whole relationship, the sex has been less than stellar. Lately we barely do it and the quality is not best. She says she doesn't feel the urge to have sex with me and the connection is just not there. To be honest, I never had this issue before.
But we love each other and we believe that we can improve. All my past relationships, the sex was always good. But with her, we just lack that intimacy and the sex feels robotic.
Today we were talking about it and trying to find ways to get better. I remembered that in the beginning of the relationship, she had told me that her two past serious relationships, the relationship was essentially sexless. She didn't have sex for a year with one them. So I asked her today if she thinks there is a pattern to it. Since the sex with me is also not the best… I ask her what she thinks happens in her relationships to make them like that.
She said that she never have good sex with the guys she tends to settle with. The guys she doesn't want to settle with, her situationships as she calls them, the sex with them was always good.
That took me by surprise and made me feel that she is telling me that she is not particularly attracted to me sexually. She just sees me as the nice, educated guy, with a nice job she wants to marry but not the bad boy she craves sexually.
Does that mean she is settling for bad sex because I am a nice guy?
submitted by /u/Zerotonil
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