I told my boyfriend that I felt really uncomfortable with his roommate/girl best friend (who is bisexual) doing this because we are in a monogamous relationship. He justified it by saying that there is no ill intentions, and that it is just an ongoing joke. She has never touched his penis from my understanding, but the joke is that she grazes her hand up in his towel so that it's really close to the area.
They just got back from a two week trip to South America together, where she has explicitly told me that they tried to find airbnbs that only had 1 bed, so they could share it (again, just because they thought it was "funny"). They both have friends of opposite gender that they share their bed with, so to them it's normal behavior. I'm just confused why they went so out of their way to keep that bed sharing joke up.
Today, she also told me in a group chat between her, my boyfriend and I, which she named as "might be dating one of them", that she had a dream wherein the three of us were travelling, and I fell out of the plane and disappeared. Now I know that we can't control our dreams, but it just feels like shit icing on a shit cake. 🙁
I tried to approach my boyfriend, and he says my feelings are valid, but he seems to just brush all these events off as being funny or just inside jokes between him and her. He ultimately told me he would ask her to stop, but that he doesn't think it's wrong because their dynamic and intentions aren't sexual.
I am at a loss of what to do! I don't know if I am overreacting. I REALLY don't want this to be a her or me situation, or to control the friendships he has. I would love some advice….what should I do in this situation? Is there a way I can talk to him about this again?
Edit: I also want to say that this is a recent problem that has only really happened in the past 2 or so months. Otherwise, he is an incredibly kind and respectful partner. We love working on projects together, he is so supportive of my aspirations and goals and patient with me. I love him very much. In my heart of hearts, I know they aren't cheating-I am close to the roommate too. It's just that they're really physical with each other and it's causing tension. We haven't had major conflicts before in the span of our 1.5 year relationship
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