My husband (35m) and I (33f) have been together since I was 18. We were friends before dating, so maybe I’m having a naked time understanding him. Recently we were having a light hearted conversation about our mbti. We joked about his result (INTJ), he’s very introverted, very upfront but has the ability to be very charming. He mentioned he didn’t believe mine (INFJ). He said he would probably hate wouldn’t be my friend if we weren’t married. He doubled down and said I’m a Disney adult and don’t like the same music so what would he talk about. It caught me off guard I’ve always thought of him as friend possibly my best friend now. I thought he felt the same with me, that’s why I been a bit hurt by what he said. I got quiet after that. I turned away and said “ok you don’t have to be my friend”. He didn’t finish his sentence before storming off. I tried to go to sleep but I just silently cried instead.
I’m trying to sort my feelings out. Im just wondering if he truly sees me the way he described me. It just feels like he doesn’t think there’s anything else below the surface to me.
I think I hurt my own feelings more because I thought about the effort that I put into gifts for birthdays, fathers day etc. I always plan date nights and try to find things he would enjoy doing. I just realized that same effort isn’t put in for me.
Is this something I should move past? I came home late afternoon after work and gave my daughter a hug. He was making a kissing sound but became upset that I didn’t walk over to him and greet him. I’m getting the cold shoulder now. I haven’t been as warm either. My petty self wants to do the bare minimum as a partner and even pull back on the amount of love, friendship and support.
Is this something I should ignore? Am I being too sensitive?
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