I (36f) will preface by saying this is a relatively new relationship (5 months, first 3 live, most recent two co habitating) and there are many things I love about my boyfriend (39m) but something I have seen popping up, is his aversion to do anything he considers girly or feminine. He considers himself old fashioned and a “real” man, but yesterday that manifested in him basically running away in a target because I stopped in the makeup section. When I asked about why he took off, he said men always used to leave their women alone to do womanly things. I didn’t press it, but it’s bothering me that he number 1, thought standing near makeup would make him appear less manly, and number 2, that it was more important that he maintain appearances than spend time with me.
My last relationship was 15 years long, with a guy who was not at all concerned with how society saw him on the “man” scale, and would spend an hour in a Sephora with me just to get gift ideas for me, and because I enjoy makeup. My current boyfriend sees this as “beta male” behavior, whatever that means.
I know this really isn’t a big deal, I don’t need him to be within 10” of me at all times, and I really don’t care if he has any interest in makeup, but it made me wonder what else he will just bail on because it isn’t masculine enough. I was trying to think of any equivalent that was too “manly” for me to decide to drop his hand and walk away just to retain my appearance of femininity, but there isn’t anything I can think of. I have been out of the dating scene for a long time, so maybe this is normal now, I’m not sure. Any advice?
submitted by /u/Muppetrubber
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