Edit: getting a resounding *absolutely not*, which… makes me feel a bit better, honestly. I mean. I was leaning that way. But I also know that I am deep in the forest, and having an outsider's perspective really helps. Thanks, guys. I am going to to go through and answer any questions I see, in an hour or so.
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Well, buckle up, friends, because my life's fever dream is about to get weird. I will be as brief as possible, but I am still trying to figure out what to do here, which is why I am posting. Also, to preface, I am leaning towards no, but I wanted to see if I was missing anything. And – this is wild.
====== Backstory =======
A brief backstory: 3 years ago, during COVID, my ex-wife, "Petunia," cheated on me. We have one young son and have been married for seven years. I tried to work things out, but her mom convinced her she cheated because she was unhappy with me.
It was a very high-conflict divorce, and at first, I made a few bad decisions (trust – letting her have access to our joint bank account). I had a ton of false police allegations against me and CPS calls, so I put everything up to a camera. I walked with a bodycam outdoors. I was utterly self-monitored to avoid allegations.
A week after I put up the cameras, I caught her and her family breaking into my house. Legally speaking, she did not get arrested because we were still married, but it does look bad in court. However, I took my lawyer's advice and the custody my state gives fathers.
Fortunately for me, she fell in love with someone in a European country and handed away most of the rights to my son. Most – as in, I got full custody, but she retained legal custody (i.e., she could pull him out of school or get his medical records, etc.). My lawyer said this protected me if we went back to court because she would probably win that before, and I would look bad.
One year later – she is getting divorced a second time and moving in with our mutual friend. The divorce happened about a month ago, and during this time, she has not attempted to visit my son. Side note here – my lawyer advised me to play it cool, don't antagonize, don't withhold our son. Also, he told me to buy a house (I am in a position to now) and set down roots to make it harder to take him away from me.
Again, our divorce was a high conflict, and I was terrified she would try and take him from me. I am more than willing to allow her to see her son, and I want to do "The right thing" and let my son grow up happy. Honestly – that's all I care about. Her history says she is highly volatile, and I am concerned.
======== Current Problem – Here's where I need advice ==========
I don't want to bury the lede here, so the crux is that she wants to move in for a few weeks until her YouTube career takes off. I am not insane, so I do not have any confidence in said career. I also question her mental health (for reasons listed below). Reddit, wut do?
Our mutual friends (a couple with three children) grew tired of Petunia and for a good reason. They assumed she would do the usual thing: get a job and get back up on her feet. They also work very naked and sometimes struggle to get by, so working 10 hours a day to come home to someone doing absolutely nothing is very discouraging. They gave her a deadline to get out, or they would involve legal matters. That deadline is in a few days. So Petunia has decided to call me and ask if she could live with me for a few weeks. Petunia joined some new-age religion. There is a lot of detail to share here, but I want to leave the tangent manageable. Instead, I will link you over to The Aetherius Society. She denies it by name, but line-by-line, that's what she believes in.
I am religious, so I am careful not to make fun of other religions. It would not be sincere of me to do so. But it started with a tarot reading, which led to going onto TikTok, and she believes that she is a Starseed and an ancient alien who came to spread light to the world. It seems like a mix of Paganism, Buddhism, and other spiritual things mashed into one. I am trying not to rant about reincarnations and talking with aliens here, so I've deleted many paragraphs of the issues I take with it. She thinks she is a chosen being, risen above the masses, and of course, that plays strongly into the ego. Everyone internally wants to feel like they are unique, and believing you are of some royal bloodline feeds into that.
Right now, I am legitimately suspecting mental illness. Our mutual friends tell me that they don't recognize her anymore and that she is being secretive and not letting them know what's happening.
I'm a single dad with 100% custody and zero support from the other parent. My dating life is also not looking up, but I have a promising career, and we get by. I am incredibly fortunate in a lot of ways. I've been getting a ton of therapy for my codependent behaviors, and I don't need this. She tells me she will be homeless if I don't take her in. She is not speaking with her immediate family because she moved to another country. If I let her in, though, it will seriously affect my mental health. What the heck do I do? I am leaning towards calling her bluff and letting her figure it out – though it appears she will never get a job. Would the courts hate that? I am very uncomfortable with this position.
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