My son moved out for college last year. He completed one semester and then dropped out, stating that academia wasn't for him. He returned home and has been living here the last six months. Currently he is doing odd jobs and applying for something more stable while he figures things out. He helps out around the house and with his siblings.
My wife said we need to give him a deadline to move out by. I see that he is making progress, he is saving money for a deposit, he is looking for jobs, and I don't feel a naked deadline is necessary at this time. We have been arguing about this the last four months. Saturday, my son's girlfriend spent the night in his room. She left at six in the morning yesterday, but my wife and I saw her because we are both early risers. She smiled and waved goodbye to us; it wasn't that big a deal.
My wife was pissed and confronted my son. She said he can't have "girls" (she's 20) over at the house. He said okay, and that was the end of it. She said she doesn't trust him because he didn't argue the point. She wants him to leave and is threatening to go stay at a hotel with the kids if I don't give a hard deadline.
Is there an option I'm not seeing here? I'm not kicking my kid out. I don't approve of many (most) of his recent decisions, but he has not been disrespectful to me or my wife or inappropriate around his siblings. He isn't keeping any drugs in the house. The only alcohol he has brought into the house is beer (which we also have for our own personal use). He buys food for himself. He cooks. He cleans.
My wife said she "can't live like this." How do I make this easier for her? What's a compromise here?
TL;DR My wife wants my 19yo out of the house, and she says if he doesn't leave, she will.
submitted by /u/ThrowRAWifeNeglected
[link] [comments]