When I turned 30, I decided to go to the gym for the first time in my life. Had a bit of an early midlife crisis I think and wanted to get in shape before I was too old to really give it a try. When I'm old I can look back and know I was fit and strong once upon a time kinda thing. Before this I had what she described as a nerdy body. I had long scruffy hair, small shoulders and a bit of weight around my waist. I wasn't particularly macho in the traditional sense. But I was her type.
In the 2 years since I started training I have physically changed a lot. I also have a lot more muscle definition and have been intentionally changing my diet and lifestyle to lose fat. I have been successful in what I wanted to achieve.
Today she mentioned how she is struggling with the changes. I no longer look anything like the person she fell in love with. I agree with her and also understand but it puts me in a strange place. If I had gotten excessively fat and she was finding my unattractive, I would understand as we know being overweight is not a great thing for your health. I have gone the opposite way and have gained muscle and she says she doesn't find me attractive anymore.
She approached the subject in a very kind way and we both agreed that this is a bit of a strange one. She doesn't want me to start being unhealthy again to make her happy but she's struggling to deal with the transformation. Many people I haven't seen in a few years fail to recognize me at first. It's strange to me too. It has been a positive transformation in an objective sense but this is a negative consiquence that I'm not sure how to approach. I love this lifestyle. I was always tired and lazy before. Now I always feel good inside and training gives my mood a huge positive boost. Even though I knew she liked the nerdy dad bod, it never occurred to me they this change would be something she didn't like. I'm not sure the best approach to take here. We have talked about it but didn't reach a conclusion and aren't sure where to take it next.
Edit: just to clarify, we didn't have any sort of argument. It was just a chat. She is upset that she looks at me sometimes and doesn't see my "cute face" anymore and instead sees someone else. The transformation has been rapid so I get it. She said very strongly that she doesn't want me to change back as she knows I've a much better lifestyle now but she misses the old me and is struggling with it. I just dunno how to approach it. I don't want her to be sad but I dunno how to fix it.
submitted by /u/anameorsomething90
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