My sister slept with my ex fiancé days after we broke up and I just got to know it now. My sister always had been my best friend since I was born. We didn't have many fights, we were sharing all of our secrets. I broke up with my fiancé after living together for 3 years a year ago, it was a really abusive relationship. My sister a few days later took my bicycle from him after I moved out right away after we broke up. I didn't think much of it back then, because as I thought I had nothing to think into it. Man I was so wrong!
Today my ex texted me that he had a dream about us, and wanted to fix things and restart after being separated for a year with the help of couple therapy. I already felt bad about that text and then he told me that he sincerely apologies that i had to know that it's part of the story that he slept with my sister on the day she took my bicycle.
I don't know how to feel now about her. I called her, asked her about it, but I have no idea how to process this, how to fix my broken trust in her, how she could lie into my face for a year straight, and now how could I introduce her to anyone anymore. She is in addition not a quickie-type at all and never had one-night stands apart of this one occasion. How to process such? TL;DR: title
Edit: Update:
Most importantly: I am extremely thankful for all of you being here and giving me the best of your advices. I appreciate and consider them.
I just hung up with my sister. I tried to keep it as rational as I could, not to mention that I was working and had to concentrate for 4 more hours right after I just found out what happened. I blocked my ex, and I called my sister back after work. I told her as calmly as I could, how I felt, how I still feel and what do I think amd all about my concerns.
I was asking about her intentions of letting such thing just happen between them. I know my ex, and I know that he has several mental issues. I know my sister too, this is why it felt to be an utmost betrayal from her.
I kept it rational and divided from my feelings because I felt like she would never have been fully open with me if I didn't do otherwise. Somehow I consider myself a person with so little to no knowledge when it comes to emotions, somehow being rational instead helps me in better understanding. Finding a logical reason behind everything makes it easy for me to process such things that I would go out of my mind of mental pain knowing that they weren't my fault.
Well the whole story is: my sister never had a high self esteem. Especially not being compared to me in the family, for so far I got to my peak at my carreer, got 3 international movie awards at the age of 22, had a seemingly nice relationship, for I always had really hard times talking about my low points in my life.
With this, being said, she always grabbed every opportunity to seek for various feedbacks on her life. Not from me, not from the "old friends" in her life, but from various random and new people. She honestly didn't understand why it was such a mistake to blame my ex about what happened, so I grabbed that opportunity to fully explain it to her. I told her that my ex never has been completely sane. And by being triggered by a fresh trauma, he became even more incalculable. What he did was basically revenge sex, and my sister, being an emotionally vulnerable person, willingly agreed.
By that time, if she told me what happened, I would've been less hurt probably, because what hurt me the most was that how could she lie to me for the sake of someone she didn't even know for one year straight? I openly told her that it made me question all the good moments that we shared in this past year. As I found out, it was solely because she wasn't aware of what would she hurt me the least. I told her that I was seriously impressed about how could she behave as a cold hearted psychopath, that even I didn't notice anything about it. I didn't find the right answer for that. But my sister thought that once she fucked up she hoped that she could take this to the grave. But, knowing that in this past year my ex couldn't forget me, and tried to repeatedly win me back, looking back, for me it was pretty obvious that it would sooner or later get back to me. And so it did.
We talked for hours straight with my sister and everything led back to her very low self esteem, and therefore her bad and self degrading decisions. At the end of the conversation, I told her to start to get her soul together and seek for professional help. Because it's not good for her either, nor to anyone she hurts with her poor decisions of trying to get fake self-certifications for herself.
submitted by /u/Marmsiemns
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