Me and my SO have been dating since before COVID started we started dating a few weeks before pandemic stuff happened so over 3 years now. We have been super happy together and got a place together at the start of the year.
She has a friend lets call him John, they have been BFF's since they were kids. He is very openly gay and is married to his husband. I met John once before the pandemic he and his husband joined us on our second date. It was only recently that he was actually around and tried to do stuff with us and his husband.
Honestly i never liked John he has always been someone who demands everyone pays attention to him. If you have an interesting story, he will constantly try to interrupt you and try to tell his own thing that always much "cooler". If he cannot one up you he will immediately try to change the topic, or someone calls him out on his bullshit. He has always been somewhat hostile to me to the point where i never really liked it.
The last few months he has pretty much just straight up started bullying me. Criticizing everything from my clothes to my appearance, to even things I like. The last week it got super fucking bad, when both me and my SO mentioned we are going on vacation to Japan for a month something we both wanted to do. John was apparently really hurt by it, apparently him and my SO talked about that for years but never did it due to COVID. I tried to be nice and suggested him and his partner come with us and he told me he wouldn't ever want to go anywhere and be seen with a "loser like me". Ok.
Tonight was one of our mutual friends birthdays and John showed up after being invited by my SO. At one point in the night he pulled me aside when I went to the bathroom and spent 5 minutes throwing an insane amount of shade at me. Everything from I am disgusting, I am garbage. Then he outright told me to break up with my SO or he would do it for me because our relationship "disgusts" him.
I have told my SO multiple times like hey can you tell john to cool it, I don't like this I don't want to be around him. John immediately denies everything i say he said. He also only does it when my SO is not present. Tonight i told her word for word what happened and she just said she doesn't believe me at all. She has known him for a quarter of a century and she has never seen anything like that. So i asked if she thought i was lying, and she said i was just embellishing what he was saying and she can tell he is unhappy about our relationship but that doesn't change anything for her. She loves me and that is that.
Honestly I feel hurt, I feel she is taking his side always and it just makes me feel like shit. I don't really know if i can continue this relationship it just feels so stupid.
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