Update: My (37f) husband (37m) is angry I need surgery

Hi all. So it's been quite a ride since my first post and it hasn't even been that long! (Link to first post https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/14q61xz/my_37f_husband_37m_is_angry_i_need_surgery/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1 ).

First of all thank you to everyone who commented, I didn't think it would blow up the way it did! I read nearly every comment but wow it was a lot.

Those of you who said it was fake or said I was lying, all I can say is I'm am so glad you are able to think that because hopefully that means you have love and support in your life.

Ok so most important thing first, I have an appointment with a surgeon on Tuesday. I'm making the choice to have the surgery. I have organised childcare and will be driving myself to the appointment as my husband is too busy at work to come with.

I spoke to him yesterday about the surgery, my feelings and needs. I used "I" statements to try not to make him feel like I was accusing him or attacking him but honestly it was like talking to a brick wall. One word answers, shoulder shrugs, "uh huh"s. I tried asking how he was feeling about it or what he needed nothing worked. I finally kind of lost it and asked why he thinks this is no big deal and not worthy of his attention at all and well turns out he "doesn't think it's that bad" and I'm just being dramatic. I mean if you ignore the drs reports, the imaging reports, the diagnostic tests and the surgeons report….I'm still not being dramatic! I still work full time, do all the house and kid duties, run all the errands and never use my arm as an excuse.

So long story short, I'm seeing the surgeon next week and my husband and I are in separate beds for the time being because I can't deal with his face right now. Everything else I will work out later once I have more of a concrete plan with my surgery. But thank you everyone, you helped me balls up and take my own health seriously and do what I needed to do.