I have the same perspective. It's great to be a boy scout, but having a perfect moral compass is a recipe to getting fucked if you're looking for upward financial mobility, particularly in certain industries.
always nice, never honest
100% true. While that doesn't mean outright lie to people or grossly misrepresent things, it never hurts to play your cards close to your chest.
If no one can verify it just fuckin lie
It doesn't hurt anyone to take some artistic liberties. There's no functional difference between calling yourself a stock clerk and retail logistics manager if you can explain it the right way.
If someone's making a lot of money someone else is getting fucked
Almost universally true
If you can convince me to give you money you don't have to pay me back
She's saying that if you proved the need, consider it a gift. I think this is a healthy mindset. I don't lend money amongst friends/family either, but I'm happy to gift it. Having a debt within that group is a recipe for disaster.
The auction is the only thing that explicitly bothers me.
Actually, the fact that he allowed OP to download it off his computer is valid enough to make it a revenge port. He has to take proper precautions when he processes this kind of stuff, which he did not.
You should tell your boyfriend this. Tell him you are disappointed and sad and angry. Tell him that you were really really looking forward to this and you needed this vacation with just the 2 of you, and this situation has now become stressful instead of relaxing. Make the best of it, even if that means going off by yourself without your boyfriend and his cousin. Do your best not to put him on the defensive, but you should still Definitely make VERY clear to him that what he did is totally unacceptable, and he should NEVER extend such an invitation to ANYONE again EVER without checking with you first ahead of time, no matter how sure he is that the other person will decline.
Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he should be in a relationship. It takes a certain mindset and openness that he lacks for whatever reason. If he wants to fly solo, he can just leave. So no, you're overreacting.
Hang on a second – dude has a wife, he wants something sexual with you, the only thing stopping this is you saying no?
And you need to ask if he is bad news?
Look, you aren’t to blame for your exes abusive behavior. People shouldn’t hurt each other. However, one way to keep from being hurt is to protect yourself. Make a list of red flags. If someone has those red flags, keep them as much distance as you can. Don’t try to fix them, make excuses for them, or minimize the red flags. Don’t think that they won’t turn on you, because they will someday. Don’t fall for the charming bad boy nonsense. He’s not a romantic desperado, he is a run of the mill married middle aged clown going after a woman ten years younger.
This guy’s red flags: Violent Short tempered Cheater (or wants to cheat) Disrespects his wife Goes for women ten years younger Manipulative
You did nothing wrong. Sometimes one person feels it and the other doesn't. It sucks, but people MAKE time for who they want to make time for. It's not anyone's fault, but she should have been straight with you rather than ghosting like that.
So people are worried if he doesn't get an invite he'd stop paying? That speaks volumes, also, not how that works. Depending on laws in your state he could wind up in jail deoending on how far back he gets.
That aside, I'll say this. If he wants to maybe meet up and talk or is trying to genuinely repair things at least hear him out, if only for your benefit. It doesn't mean you have to agree to try to have a relationship, it just means you'll hear what he has to say. I say this as someone older than you who went through some of what you have, and as we age we think about things differently. That nagging “he never once apologized” feeling may go away for a while, but it's always there and certain things in life could bring that right back up.
Lastly, as far as the graduation, invite who you want, not who you're pressuired to. Tell him if he wants to maybe meet up and talk fine, but as is you're not comfortable having him there with things in their current state if that doesn't happen.
Totally agree!!
Do you understand how hurtful it is being called a pedo? Because it's a pretty important thing to understand….
Does he receive financial or PTO compensation?
I mean Emma paid for this trip herself, maybe she pays him overtime for “working late” with her as well!
I have the same perspective. It's great to be a boy scout, but having a perfect moral compass is a recipe to getting fucked if you're looking for upward financial mobility, particularly in certain industries.
always nice, never honest
100% true. While that doesn't mean outright lie to people or grossly misrepresent things, it never hurts to play your cards close to your chest.
If no one can verify it just fuckin lie
It doesn't hurt anyone to take some artistic liberties. There's no functional difference between calling yourself a stock clerk and retail logistics manager if you can explain it the right way.
If someone's making a lot of money someone else is getting fucked
Almost universally true
If you can convince me to give you money you don't have to pay me back
She's saying that if you proved the need, consider it a gift. I think this is a healthy mindset. I don't lend money amongst friends/family either, but I'm happy to gift it. Having a debt within that group is a recipe for disaster.
The auction is the only thing that explicitly bothers me.
I mean, imo YTA. If you’re going to use that much ketchup then you pour ketchup just for you
Actually, the fact that he allowed OP to download it off his computer is valid enough to make it a revenge port. He has to take proper precautions when he processes this kind of stuff, which he did not.
You should tell your boyfriend this. Tell him you are disappointed and sad and angry. Tell him that you were really really looking forward to this and you needed this vacation with just the 2 of you, and this situation has now become stressful instead of relaxing. Make the best of it, even if that means going off by yourself without your boyfriend and his cousin. Do your best not to put him on the defensive, but you should still Definitely make VERY clear to him that what he did is totally unacceptable, and he should NEVER extend such an invitation to ANYONE again EVER without checking with you first ahead of time, no matter how sure he is that the other person will decline.
He will not change. Cut your losses and find someone who is equal in contribution and effort.
Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he should be in a relationship. It takes a certain mindset and openness that he lacks for whatever reason. If he wants to fly solo, he can just leave. So no, you're overreacting.
Hang on a second – dude has a wife, he wants something sexual with you, the only thing stopping this is you saying no?
And you need to ask if he is bad news?
Look, you aren’t to blame for your exes abusive behavior. People shouldn’t hurt each other. However, one way to keep from being hurt is to protect yourself. Make a list of red flags. If someone has those red flags, keep them as much distance as you can. Don’t try to fix them, make excuses for them, or minimize the red flags. Don’t think that they won’t turn on you, because they will someday. Don’t fall for the charming bad boy nonsense. He’s not a romantic desperado, he is a run of the mill married middle aged clown going after a woman ten years younger.
This guy’s red flags: Violent Short tempered Cheater (or wants to cheat) Disrespects his wife Goes for women ten years younger Manipulative
She's just not into you.
You did nothing wrong. Sometimes one person feels it and the other doesn't. It sucks, but people MAKE time for who they want to make time for. It's not anyone's fault, but she should have been straight with you rather than ghosting like that.
So people are worried if he doesn't get an invite he'd stop paying? That speaks volumes, also, not how that works. Depending on laws in your state he could wind up in jail deoending on how far back he gets.
That aside, I'll say this. If he wants to maybe meet up and talk or is trying to genuinely repair things at least hear him out, if only for your benefit. It doesn't mean you have to agree to try to have a relationship, it just means you'll hear what he has to say. I say this as someone older than you who went through some of what you have, and as we age we think about things differently. That nagging “he never once apologized” feeling may go away for a while, but it's always there and certain things in life could bring that right back up.
Lastly, as far as the graduation, invite who you want, not who you're pressuired to. Tell him if he wants to maybe meet up and talk fine, but as is you're not comfortable having him there with things in their current state if that doesn't happen.
Best of luck.