Yup, you would look stupid if you contacted him. He said he's not interested. It would look Uber desperate if you contacted him after he dumped you. You would also be wasting your time and confusing yourself. Move on.
This is definitely not in your head, given what you've said here. I REALLY recommend that book. The gaslighting and the abuse cycles you are describing are pretty textbook. He will also use your kind nature and empathy to manipulate you – which is exactly what sounds like is happening. Getting away from it is the answer. Please listen to and let your family help you get safe, because abuse ALWAYS escalates. And if he is threatening your life and doing things that risk your life, you don't have much room for escalation.
Why haven't you left before? Are you worried about how he'll react? Does he have you convinced that it's you? Do you think you don't deserve something better? What has you stuck there?
Why does he need to level up? What does that do for him? Genuinely. Stepping back, why does he need to advance his career to online a happy life?
he told me he didn't see things going anywhere.
Yup, you would look stupid if you contacted him. He said he's not interested. It would look Uber desperate if you contacted him after he dumped you. You would also be wasting your time and confusing yourself. Move on.
This is definitely not in your head, given what you've said here. I REALLY recommend that book. The gaslighting and the abuse cycles you are describing are pretty textbook. He will also use your kind nature and empathy to manipulate you – which is exactly what sounds like is happening. Getting away from it is the answer. Please listen to and let your family help you get safe, because abuse ALWAYS escalates. And if he is threatening your life and doing things that risk your life, you don't have much room for escalation.
Why haven't you left before? Are you worried about how he'll react? Does he have you convinced that it's you? Do you think you don't deserve something better? What has you stuck there?