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Room for live sex video chat Carammell
Model from:
Languages: en,ru
Birth Date: 1999-02-11
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: October 25, 2022
This may sound dumb, but have you looked up characters with that birthday.
He should make you feel like a rock star. Sex with a confident partner is the best. What a dick
Was in a very similar situation a couple years back. Breaking up won’t be easy but from my experience, it ended up being so much better for both of us. It took some time but she moved on and I felt free to live! for myself. Just be as respectful yet firm as possible if you’re certain you want to leave her.
I am so sorry ???
At the end of the day – we all have our ‘stuff’. No you’re not perfect, and neither is he. But there is always a line that has to be drawn on what is ok and what is not. Don’t dismiss how toxic or terrible his behavior is just because you’re not perfect either or because you also yelled. Don’t make excuses for his actions because those actions will just continue to haunt you and you will pay the price for excusing it over and over again. A lot of people have terrible jobs where they see awful stuff everyday. The awesome thing about life is that if you don’t like your job – you can do something else. If it is so mentally hot for him to cope, it’s his responsibility to figure out what he wants to do. Period.
I think the most concerning thing you said is that he ‘used to be this or that and you know he is capable of being that person’ Being In love with someone’s potential will only leave you disappointed and confused. You will break your own heart if you refuse to see what’s in front of you with the hope of ‘one day it will get better’
I don’t think he’d hurt someone. Just how he responds. He’s like a firecracker. And while we were in another store he just turned so stand off-ish and just wanted to sot while o walked around. I wanted him to walk with me and be engaged in looking at stuff but he just sat there. And got mad that none of the sales reps came to help us when the lady at the entrance clearly told us it would be some time before we were helped. He kept asking what bag i wanted after i clearly showed him. So i got a little irritated when he asked again. The way he went off on me in the car once we were done looking just made me shut down. Calling me unloyal when hes done worse but thats not the subject of matter right now. I just wish He would relax and find alternative ways to respond. But he says the way he responds are satisfying to him
Only foolish men get jealous over a vibrator. For me it would be perfect because I love to see my woman pleasure herself!!!!
What if your girlfriend wants to adopt children?
Healthy sexually open male here. I pride myself on being able to get a woman off. Done it on a few first dates and always get rave reviews. I wouldn’t say “most” guys can because unfortunately most modern men don’t simply care enough because it’s “too hard”, or are essentially taught that sex starts and ends with their pleasure, so much media out there also talks about how such a staggering amount of women either have never orgasmed or can’t outside of masterbation, that most men don’t even think it’s worth it to try. But they can be reprogrammed! Highly recommend the book “She comes first” by Ian Kerner. Absolutely stellar read for any man looking to get his partner off. I’ll be honest it’s not easy and took me quite a long time, with a patient partner, to learn and get it down but it’s very much worth it. You do need a willing partner though, here’s to hoping your husband is up for it.
NTA becasue you stated your expectations before the marriage and she agreed. I wouldn’t be with someone that only cared about me if I looked a certain way. I know you say health, but it obvious your main concern is appearance. Bodies change as we age. It would be way too much pressure to think your SO will leave you if you gained weight, as there are many reasons people gain weight. I don’t think your the AH but I also don’t think you actually love your wife.
I'm gonna be honest, i saw “not feeling right about 2nd chance” and i came here to say BREAK IT OFF. Respect your feelings, they are valid. Life is too short to waste second chances if you're going to question the relationship again.
She's religious.
Religious enough to keep an unplanned baby, but not religious enough to avoid premarital unprotected sex with randoms from work LOL
You’ve been together for 6 years that’s a long time and things change. It’s kind of normal that for you not to hear the words I love you as much. Why don’t you just appreciate her showing you her love in her own way besides just saying it all the time.
I know
Huge red flag. Likely entertaining attention from other men. No other reason to remove you bro.
Sorry mate, it sounds like you have some narcissistic traits. I’ll make an inference and bet she struggles with borderline PD. Perfect match for each other as both PD tend to gravitate towards each other.
As someone who has been cheated on, I'm inclined to say that you'll probably do it again and I wouldn't trust you even with access to your devices. I recognize that I am probably biased though.
If you actually care about mending the relationship, you probably need to seek out couple's therapy, as well as individual therapy to get to the root of your issues (i.e. – why you cheated, how you two can continually build trust back, etc.).
An unbiased professional is probably the most capable of helping you work through this.
Yeah, people should continue to use birth control until they are ready for kids.
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You don’t have a girlfriend any more you have a roommate who is seeing other people
so…
you believe they did it. there is now way to prove that something never existed. suspicion will stay until a proof … that will may be never appear.
your relationship is already rotten, infidelity or not. either you shut up or you break. there is no other path.
Honestly, if I need to go through all of this to have sex with my wife marriage is not worth tit
no where have you indicated she doesn’t make you feel wanted or loved, i guess except for rejecting your advances. if you have a romance movie relationship, like you claim, you shouldn’t be relying on sex to feel wanted and loved. sex is a big thing yes, but different people have different sex drives, you’ve talked to her about it, it’s either time to try a different talk or to move the fuck on. no matter what, if you cheat, you’re scum, that fact that you’ve considered it as much as you have and have taken steps towards doing it, makes you really gross imo and if these were things i knew about my own husband i would be gone in an instant
Aah bro, I can’t get over you clubbing when you have a newborn baby at home and ignoring her on your birthday. You need to grow up.
Why did the mods remove your post and comments?
It's a bad idea to wake up a baby. Since you have a guest room, just use it.
But also, you should be transitioning your kid into another room at some point, so talk about that, and talk about if it would be OK to return to your room when that happens. If you care about the impact on your relationship, I swear that everybody being sleep deprived is a lot less healthy than everybody sleeping in different beds.
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Alcohol doesn’t make you cheat. I told you a story about being raped but then lied about the interactions with that girl. And he intentionally went over to her place after you already discussed this was a boundary. So he had the intention to hang out and hook up with this girl. He is not willing to earn your trust by leaving that job. The girl didn’t leave that job either. She just supposedly works at another location. She can still cover at his location and stay in touch. You can’t trust your BF ever again. Call him out for this and prepare to break up.
Your problem is that you're a 31-year-old man, you're married, you're about to be a father, and yet your decision-making is still based on “I can't upset Mummy.”
Stop giving her input into your life. If she doesn't like what you and your wife choose to do, that's her problem. If you don't like spending time with her, stop spending time with her. If she's not going to be a good influence on your kid, don't let her be around the kid.
You are an adult. Act like one.
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To be fair she lied about it for eight years and then suddenly dropped it
Doesnt excuse his behaviour or make it right. Its still not okay what OP did
Leave. The only living being that's allowed to wake me up is my kid. Leave.
Ended it, offered no reason, hooks up with friend, now wants to get back together after putting you through hell with no explanation.
I’d be saying you left for no reason once, why wouldn’t it happen twice? What happened the first time? What’s changed?
You’re dad is doing his best to accept your world, so yes he may be awkward, but it would improve over time. you’re dumbass bf just made it worse.
If he doesn't figure out how to pay them, the debt falls onto me because they made me sign the contract since I live! here, even though my name isn't on the mortgage and we aren't married.
GIRL.
Why the hell did you sign that? This is EXACTLY why they got you to cosign. When you cosign for something you better watch those payments go through. Like – witness it not just ask.
Never cosign for anything unless you're married or you're willing to 100% pay for it yourself.
I get that he lied. He's morally in the wrong. You learned a really really expensive lesson though.
it did but like i just wanna make it wok before ending stuff
You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do. He is showing you who he is- how he wants to live!, what he values, what he wants to spend his money on.
If you’ve discussed other options and he just dismisses them then believe him.
Either suck it up, decide he’s worth it and keep living as you are or move on and find someone whose dreams and aspirations are more in sync with yours.
It’s still perfectly clear that she’s choosing you. I know what you’re saying, I’m saying I disagree with your analysis of the situation.
Armpit checks are totally normal in relationships. I usually sniff my significant other about three times a day. I check his butt too.
Nah, dude is weird af. Even if he wasn't controlling you by telling you how to groom yourself, I'd still be beyond put off by this. Time to give him the ?
Based on you calling me antagonistic downthread I'm assuming you thought my question (in the other reply to this comment I'm now replying on) was intended sarcastically.
It wasn't. I'm being literal. I'm offering my opinion too, but I'm still literally asking you to describe how you think that conversation should have gone, as an example, and to answer the question of whether you think it would have nipped the relationship in the bud or if there was still a way forward or not.
What was 'the right way' for this to happen, in your opinion? Please spell that out, especially if you can do so in a similar script form of what he should have said and what her actual likely reaction would have been.
It sure is. That line alone makes him not good husband material.
I mean not get tape dispensers thrown at you for a start
Ask for her your money back since you're living precariously right now.
I would not say I turn every moment of intimacy into sex, but I would say that intimacy can turn me on, which she feels is sexualizing the moment.
Again, I wouldn't say every single compliment is about her looks. I compliment her work, good jokes, smart insights or solutions to problems… What I would say is that those compliments typically follow an action (i.e. she makes a joke, then I compliment). Her looks are always there, so she does not really need to do anything for me to compliment. Does this help?
Well if he owns a part of the company and you divorce guess what? As Eddie Murphy said it “half your shit”. So at the end of the day you at least get part of the company probably in cash as they’ll have to buy you out to keep you out
Honestly, no it shouldn’t have. It’s his company, he can decide who he offers to sell to. However, husband should have told his wife.
You’ll be okay mate. It’s understandable to be frustrated because you’re being faced with something you’ve never had to deal with before but there are layers to this. The most fundamental thing I can tell you as advice, is do not take her getting attention personally. It isn’t about you. It’s got nothing to do with you frankly. Your girl is the one getting all the attention, so don’t turn this into something about you.
Imagine her POV, she’s constantly being approached. If she’s pretty, if she’s famous, if she’s popular, she’s going to get attention alllllll the time from girls and guys and it’s likely exhausting. She can’t just go unnoticed. It’s cool sometimes, and annoying as fuck the other times.
First thing I would do is ask her how she feels about it. Let her talk and just listen. After you guys have a conversation about it, ask her if there’s anyway she would like you to do in these situations. If she says you’re doing fine, believe her. For example if she says it’s exhausting, you could also ask her if she wants to implement some sort of call word where if she says “banana” from then on out, you’ll step in and shut down on comers with something like “Hey, I understand you’re trying to talk to my girlfriend, but we’re trying to enjoy sometime just to ourselves here so if you wouldn’t mind, leave us to ourselves- thanks”
All that said, when you figure out how she feels about it, all you can do is be constant. Don’t spin your head in circles with egotistical nonsense like “what if one dude comes up and takes her away from me” or “does she really like me? She could get anyone” and other insecure stuff. The fact of the matter is, yes. She could probably get anyone. That said, she did get someone, she’s got you. You’re literally the one she likes and is interested in. Don’t self sabotage yourself by freaking out about an issue that literally isn’t even about you.
I'm sorry but he's very stupid, very selfish, overly defensive, and cruel.
You are only considered unable to consent once you are lost consciousness or where druged without your own knolege.
So unless you were a blabering mess (which cleary is not the case) you where not raped.
Tell your friends to take their heads out of the gutter.
h does realize if you get it he has no claim to it right?
he was ASLEEP or falling asleep. anyone is gonna mumble whatever random thing. same like when people dream weird things. don't read so much into it.
See that right there! That’s a little piece of corn! I promise I took a shit!
Has this been a relatively steady weight gain over the years, or a lot at once? That is truly a lot of weight. I've gained some and am in the process of losing it, but if I had gained that much, I would be a person and a half – and that wouldn't be good for my heart, knees, or anything else including self esteem.
I'd suggest a visit to the doctor just to be sure there's nothing else going on other than too much food/calories and too little exercise, especially if it's been fairly rapid.
They were informed she wouldn't be, they found other accommodations.
Honestly, if your mom is going through a divorce she should understand some of what you are going through. I would buy a cot and share a room with my mom temporarily at grandmas house. Let them know you are in an abusive relationship, and need a short term safe escape!
Ahhhh i see now. Then yeah, I agree with you unfortunately. Its tough to stay with someone who won't help themselves and the relationship just.. dies.
I'm sorry you and him are going through this.
You cannot, cannot, cannot fix a mean drunk. Male or female, the only solution is that the mean drunk stop drinking, and that’s not happening here.
You can find another girl who’s great sober and not a monster when she’s had a few.
I will thank you so much
Bro go get snipped. It’s a fast safe
I'm an introvert and hell no, I don't kick my boyfriend out when I want alone time. I go into another room or go for a walk. This is massively weird and not OK
And never realize that losing consciousness is the worst thing one can do to themselves. Totally neglecting own safety !
Don’t blame them. They’re trying to keep their daughter safe. You don’t know this guy or his history.
LINK PLEASE
Fuck him and move on with your life. He’s not worth that headache and spider web of women he keeps around. No thanks. He’s telling you what he is. Use him for what he’s good at and move on with your life. There is better out there.
That title confused me. You should have noted late Brother's wife
Anyhow, don't take this laying down. Speak to a lawyer now
The relationship with him was over the minute you caught him cheating. Do yourself a favor and break up with this guy. Telling you that you are disloyal from a guy who is cheating is priceless. You deserve much better than him. He doesn't want his fling to know about you or he is still in contact with her. It is not worth finding out. Just dump him.
Please tell me you're breaking up with this jerk. You deserve so much better than him.
I find it surprising that somebody could be confused by this. You wished her a happy birthday. Now she is wishing you a happy birthday. This is the definition of cordial.
Maybe because actions speak louder than words. Now a days words are just said. They mean nothing anymore, even if you actually mean what you're saying. People say things all the time and it means absolutely nothing. Actions are so much more than words. Actions means you put thought into it. Actions mean purpose. Saying something, even with meaning, means nothing if there aren't actions behind it to hold up those words.
Is she honest with you? Does she treat you well? Is she kind? Does she improve your life and make your want to be better to improve hers? Does she acknowledge your feelings? Do you have fun?
These are the things to look out for. There’s no way to know what the future holds. You just have to try your best and hope for the best.
You’re overthinking this
Girl, you are so young, your whole life is ahead of you. You should not be settling for bullshit, disregard them at first mistake or you will subconsciously train yourself to settle for bs. Don’t waste your time with assholes.
Sorry i think $600 is unreasonable for perfume in general, but an even more absurd ask from someone you haven't even been dating a year. Yoga mats aren't cheap and one of my favorite gifts from my boyfriend ever was a nice yoga mat–that thing has gotten hundreds of hours of use. You gave a thoughtful, practical gift. The only thing that some people might be put off by is that it's not traditionally “romantic,” so maybe you could have supplemented with a card with a nice note, though it sounds like she wouldn't have appreciated that anyway.
Her gift was way less than you gave and significantly less than a $600 bottle of perfume. I think she's buying into the idea that Valentine's day means the man has to shell out a small fortune on a woman and she has to do very little in return. Some couples are okay with that dynamic but i wouldn't be. Definitely do not put that perfume on a credit card and i would reevaluate this relationship. Sorry 🙁
You say why are there condoms here
What story is that? Sounds cute!
You do realize that you're acting as if you're just roommates with benefits.
She asks for a compromise that's more than doable.
Your answer is to game past midnight.
Is she with her friends till after midnight?
Your misogyny is hanging out. You could have just said he was immature, but no, you had to compare him to a teenage girl.
Don't forget he also wants her to “look better” for him. This is 100% a gift for himself.
Being nice (agreeable) is only one aspect that can make someone likable. There also is competency, empathy, openness, integrity, compassion,… and then there’s things that can make you dislike a person, the reverse of the above, incompetent, invalidating, rigid, inconsistent, judgmental.
Maybe try to look for the likable characteristics and ignore or address the non likable things about her. But honestly, it’s okay to not like someone. Of course don’t be rude, but not everyone is going to be your cup of tea and that’s ok.
I mean I don’t see the problem other than u being too sensitive. Can’t be mad at his answer when you asked.
HUGS. The way you describe his treatment of you is classic gaslighting. No matter how you feel, he treats it like it's wrong… unless you're kissing his arse. Right? Do you feel as if you deserve that treatment? Will your daughter deserve it when she gets older and starts having feelings too? I understand you're kind of stuck right now, being a SAHM, but when you get a job, will you begin to think about getting out?
he flirts
you learn he’s married
and then immediately think “he’s the perfect man”
My Sister In Christ
you are being played like an intense game of Yahtzee
Thank you for your advice. I’ll talk to him by suggesting what he could’ve done. And for my birthday the first year we got together, he didn’t physically give me anything. He said he asked his aunty back home to get a gold ring for me and he said when he goes back he’ll bring it for me. It’s been 2 years since my 19th birthday and I still haven’t gotten the ring. For my 20th birthday he got me a perfume because “he didn’t know what to get”.
Look up surviving infidelity to see resources on what to do to nip an emotional affair in the bud. Although if she regularly sees him on nights out and she spent time at his place then chances are it’s more than emotional.
Basically put your foot down. She chooses you or she chooses him. If she chooses you then she cuts immediate contact with him. That’s both electronically and in person. If he’s there when she goes out with her friends, then she stops going out with her friends. If he’s in a group chat, then she stops taking part in the group chat. And if she refuses then she’s made a choice, contact a lawyer (preferably do that before giving her an ultimatum) and start divorce proceedings. Show her you’re serious.
(English not my first language, sorry)
Hey op You are cooping and trying to control/ areas in your life to make up for severe pain in other area's.
U safe people becouse U want to safe your father but cant right now. And U try be a hero to young women becouse you want to be the hero agian in your own relationship but arent right now.
U really should unpack this asap with a psychotherapist. This is a dangerous way of dealing with stuff. Expecially combined with the insomnia. Things will be ok again, go talk to someone cuickly it will help.
You’re welcome! It took me an embarrassingly long time to learn this lesson myself, but GOD it’s nice to finally be with someone who thinks about my needs / what would make me happy without prompting. Guys like that are out there, and you’ll find one if you look – but not while you still have this leech attached to you.
At this point I wouldn't worry about countries, ethnicity, heritage, etc. I'd personally be more concerned with the comment “this makes me hate you even more”. Definitely appears to be some underlying issues. Even tho he apologized the next morning, that comment would be lingering in my head. Surrogate would be nice. It's personal, you know certain things you wouldn't with adoption but with adopting, you are providing a child with a home that he may not have had.
Wish I had the answer on how to come back from that. Best to you my friend.
You eat that guilt. You live! with it for the rest of your life so you never forget what the consequences of your actions can do… as someone who spent a year crying over another person, the trauma alone can be brutal. So if you've experienced some negative affect due to your own choices, best of luck. I don't pity or envy you. I got through it but goddamn if I didn't want to when it happened.
Oh I didn’t send any nudes luckily but yea I just blocked him on everything. Thank you so much . Ur kind words mean the world to me right now!
He def meant it. He just don’t want you to feel bad.
Sounds like he has grown resentment because he didn’t want adoption.
Def need counseling or his resentment will get worse.
Well it’s her fault she messed up not you, try not to feel bad. A relationship is about communication
Of course there's gaslighting, he tells her it's her fault that he did this. OP, you really need to leave, but you're going to need a plan and somewhere to hide. The level of his rage and now blaming you is what happens just before he really beats the crap out of you, for no reason whatsoever. Soon all you'll have to do is look at him 'wrong' and he'll start pummeling you.
You aren't married, you have no kids, RUN!!! Why do you stay? Do you think you can help him? He doesn't want help, he blames you and 'makes you pay' for every perceived slight. Do you need him to put you in the hospital before you accept that you are a victim of physical and emotional abuse? He's groomed you, he always leaves that little bit of hope so he can keep you there to 'help/heal him'. I'm sorry, but there is no hope.
Go ahead and get a restraining order if it makes you feel better. It's just a piece of paper that won't stop him, and the police won't get there fast enough to save you. The statistics, according to Alexa and Google is 11% of every 231 women have a restraining order in place when the male intimate kills them. About one-fifth of the female IPH (?) victims who had a restraining order were killed within 2 days of the order being issued, about one-third were killed within a month.
Don't become a statistic. This is not the life your parents were raising for. Put a plan together, make arrangements to leave while he's gone and do it. Pack the stuff you need, the rest is material and can be replaced. A few weeks after I'd had my second child I went to a relatives funeral with a black eye and bruised/cracked ribs, but he was sorry and promised it would never happen again. It didn't, he just kept the bruises where they'd be covered by clothes instead. Please don't stay, they don't change. You really are in grave danger!
You’re verbally abusive towards your wife cause she talks to her mom? Lmao wtf
That’s not how boundaries work. That’s just control, as if you’re her parent or her owner. Boundaries are rules you set on YOUR reactions, not on her actions. You could say if you chose to go clubbing alone I will break up with you because it upsets me that much. You could say if you go clubbing and end up in trouble don’t call me, ever, I won’t respond (god that would be the biggest AH move tho). You only get to control yourself. And here’s the thing, you are acting as if all the sexist BS in the world (which only really affects her, not you), is her fault. It’s men’s fault, you are literally on the side of Rape Culture here, so yeah, YTA. Women live! in it and understand it a whole lot better than you do. If you want to help deter the ogling, offer to go with her more often, but trust me, your girlfriend can probably deal with this better on her own considering you’re acting like she’s your property.
I dont see what good would come from telling her that you snooped on her phone, apart from getting it off your chest. Suffice to say, this is an area you want to work on together regardless of that fact. Stop making the situation worse for yourself.
Try not to compare yourself to others. Your wife chose you for a reason. The performance anxiety that you place on yourself is a large part of the problem.
Consider using toys in the bedroom. This is a normal thing, and can make you feel better about providing for your partner's needs.
The patents on the generic forms of viagra and cialis expired a while ago. They are super inexpensive and you can get them through live! pharmacies, so you dont even have to go to your doctor. You should still talk to your doctor about the issue anyway.
They acting like he tried to strangle her
No, and that’s kind of a childish thing to think in the first place. If anything you might get taken more seriously once you turn 21 and can drink.
I agree with your family about the 36 year old. I’m 37 and I look at 19-20 year olds like they might as well be high schoolers. Absolutely still children. If a 36 year old is willing to date a kid that young, they’re either super immature, a creep, or at best just fucking around and not taking anything seriously.
No because you are barely out of your teens and thean is a creepy old sack that will leave you once you age out and find the next you girl
Btw you might be legally an adult but believe me you are no where near close to an actual adult mentally
He wants you to run after him desperate for a crumb of affection because he is a controlling nut job!
IF you are foolish enough to stay with him, this is the pattern of your life…
OP Works hot to build a career BF Perceives some slight in his own warped mind, sulks like a child OP Tries to achieve a quiet life by lying and placating BF BF Imma block that bItch that will show her.. OP Accepts that being treated like this is acceptable, waits for BF to calm down BF Swans back feeling justified he taught her a lesson…
Rinse and repeat the scenario for the rest of your life….
THIS IS TOXIC AND NOT A RELATIONSHIP
And the person you challenged over it literally said unless there is some kind of trauma experience it’s rare. Would you say it’s common or rare in people with a good childhood, who weren’t veterans, and had a normal life? Because OP has never specified that his wife had a horrible life or fought in a war. If she has, he can correct me.
Sounds like he's getting redpilled from social media videos tbh
Sounds like he's getting redpilled from social media videos tbh
Oh yes, break up with him. Go to the police. Don’t wait. If you wait, he will string you along with promises to pay you back. He will not pay you back. With a little pressure from the police, he might be able to get your money from family.
He is always going to have financial problems. He will continue to steal from you if you stay with him.
Apologize for what you feel sorry for. But I will say that while sex work is work, and you don’t have to be ashamed of it, that doesn’t mean others can’t judge you as a partner based on that. If camming is the thing you want to stand on that’s fine, but she doesn’t owe you acceptance as a partner.
That’s sooo comforting to know ??. I honestly thought it would break us up for some reason..
BigMan, your fiancée's abusive behaviors cannot be excused — but perhaps can be explained, especially if you would speak to a psychologist in your city. They may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no chance to learn in childhood). My exW has that problem. If it is an issue for your fiancée, you likely would be seeing 4 other red flags.
The first is a strong abandonment fear. I therefore ask whether, a few months into your relationship, she started showing strong jealousy over harmless events involving other women — or tried to isolate you away from your close friends and family members? She would view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing them over her. Moreover, she usually would hate being alone by herself.
Second, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes/mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to “validate” her victim status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Third, you generally would not see her directing her anger at casual friends, coworkers, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her outbursts and temper tantrums almost exclusively would be directed against a close loved one (e.g., against you, a sibling, or her parents).
Fourth, you are convinced that she truly loves you. But you frequently see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you) — often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells around her. Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do. A few hours or days later, she can flip back just as quickly.
BigMan, have you been seeing strong occurrences of all 4 of these red flags?
I'm offended and terrified that he really believes that about me
Yes, he believes this about every single human on the planet that are not evangelical christian. Can you imagine that only evangelical christians make it to heaven even when jesus was born a Jew? But Jewish people will burn in hell. Muslims. Buddhist. Hindus. Most likely Catholic and Methodist according to his beliefs. Etc.
Honestly I would be surprised if the relationship could ever get to a point where he would propose to you. His family and church would likely pressure him to break up with a 'sinner' who doesn't have their same beliefs.
This is a window into the very small, very hateful, very constricted life he lives. Worshipping a god that only loves a very, very, very small number of people on the planet regardless of the fact that the bible supposedly teaches 'our god is a loving god' and that Jesus taught tolerance and acceptance for all.
Tell him
Exactly this, she married some dude in who's still in his party phase who also doesn't seem like he knows how to do that shit responsibly. Though she seems like she'd be right with him if not for the baby, even if not for the cheating, worse shit could have happened.
She’s already done with you, she’s mentally checked out, you go out clubbing nearly three days a week.
You say you check her phone as well yet you’re the only one who’s going clubbing every week.
He has always been abusive to you. Every time he “roughhoused” with you was to physically dominate you. This was never a physically appropriate relationship.
You have outright stated you were not OK with him, but he continues to do this.
He will not stop. He has, through his own choices given you only two choices. You can either stick around for him to continue to do this thing that you hate and have a myriad of legitimate reasons to hate, and which he knows that you hate, OR you can end the relationship.
Do you see yourself tolerating this for a year? 5 years? 10 years? Do you see your children tolerating this as well? Do you want to face further escalation of the abuse? If not, then you know you ARE going to have to terminate this relationship at some point.
“We're going to have sex and if you don't want to, I'll rape you.”
Where exactly is the joke?
when I confronted him instead of apologizing or saying he regrets the comment he just bluntly stated that he didn’t even know where to buy roofies.
So he would just straight-up rape you instead of drug you?
I don't know how you two normally banter, but it sounds like you're not okay with it. When you confronted him, he didn't even apologize. He thinks he is in the home stretch regarding the wedding.
So the question is: are you okay with it? Do you feel safe with him? If one or both of the answers are 'No', I think you should call off the wedding and get somewhere safe.
I agree, he shouldn't stay with her if she cheats, but Hanging out with his friends is not cheating. He's just still traumatized because his last girlfriend hung out with his friends and ended up also being a cheater.
The mouth breathing thing is actually true, cats have a extra sensory organ in the roof of their mouth, but it’s not the only reason.
Definitely the neuter would help, and maybe your roommate can get a little education from the vet while they are there.
This is terrifying
Yikes. This sounds very similar to a relationship I had. They don't change but they think they will. Run for the hills girlie. You are better off without him.
Sorry dude, she not yours, it’s just your turn.
There’s a difference between being non confrontational and being a doormat. Sounds like she’s fine letting him treat everyone including herself like shit.
That being said, it still sounds like you are taking blame for something that’s in no way your fault. If she feels like she has to choose, that’s because of HIS behavior and is on her to fix with him, not you. After a year and a half of this, do you really think he’s going to suddenly respect you and what you have to say?
Also maybe she should consider having adult friends instead of children.
Have you considered speaking to your partner about it? You should be able to do that.
pH balance is the amount of acidity in our blood, but in this case, we’re referring to the vagina. It just keeps our bodies functioning. If there’s something off with it, it could mean there’s something wrong in the body. There’s a certain level of acidity that should be in woman’s pH balance.
The scent might be stronger because her period might be coming. The acidity increases before a period starts. As long as her balance isn’t too high and she doesn’t have any infections, that’s probably just the way her coochie smells. ??
Personally it weirds me out how little women explore their own sexuality.
If this is too much for you it sounds like you're incompatible. That's okay.
I’m so sorry, I hope you are safe now
Nope it wasn't lol. If you can't see where he is, he has no business needing to see where you are.
I wish it was fake.
well done – at least now you recognized what you need & want & what you deserve.
he is cheating – EA & as many redditors mentioned – NEGLECT + he disrespect you, disrespect your needs, disrespect your request & disrespect your love.
you are only 24 & all this crap sure is unwanted.
now leave him & get a better man & get the life you deserves as a woman, gf, lover, partner.
I didn’t ask for permission but I told them ahead of time and showed them the ring and asked them to keep it a surprise.
Divorce him.
A girl in this sub this week said she got cancer from that same thing. Does it matter if it meant something? Why get past it?
I’m not about to break up with them over this.. it’s not that serious. I’m looking for advice on how to get through it
I'm not knocking people for wanting something different, I'm slamming the people who are downvoting the obvious. Guys are getting downvoted, and it's obviously by women, because they are telling the guy that he shouldn't redo the proposal just so she has some kind bragging rights.
Some more info from today-
Tonight though we were texting and she said that she wants me in my life til the very end & is looking forward to doing more 1:1 stuff/things we’ve talked about doing. We’re both just dealing with some things right now.
Will see where this goes. Regardless of what happens I have a great person in my life.
In that case she’ll probably want to move, and you should have this conversation with her asap and figure this out together.
She’s 100% being a hypocrite and that is not what I would want in a relationship, either. Your body, your choice, and she doesn’t get to police that. But don’t get such an extreme piercing out of anger. Besides, if you want to make her mad, get a piercing she has to look at, like your eyebrow or nose! Ha!
Thanks for listening to my advice though, I really appreciate it. I wish someone had sat me down and told me all of the outcomes of piercings when I was your age. Especially somewhere so sensitive. Whatever you choose to do, take good care of yourself!
Be prepared to break up with the majority of people then
Reading for the win
She didn't put herself on a waiting list yet and I don't really want to push her. She is still trying to get an immediate spot though, so I wouldn't say she gave up.
Move on!! He might be able to put his ex behind him, but he is stuck with his poor character. You need to do some soul searching if you’re even tempted to reconnect with someone you don’t even respect. Is it just about boning him or something?
We are long distance friends cause she went to NY and I to LA, so we don’t really spend much time together, i don’t know if it’s about time spent shared together being reduces
im talking with him on telegram
Why is this relevant?
He seems to be stepping towards cheating, or trying to feel out where I might be on it. And yes, his wife does deserve respect.
I follow, yeah. And with that context it seems like he may actually be telling the truth. One point in his favor is that if he were going to tell a lie surely he'd come up with a better and less nonsensical one than this, so the messy implausibility of it could potentially be a sign that it's true.
With all that said I think the best advice I can give here is to give him a chance to prove to your satisfaction that he's not up to anything. Because the best case scenario here is still that while he didn't do anything wrong his work friends are cool with potentially blowing up his relationship by screwing around with pranks involving sex workers, so him establishing some boundaries at work seems like a bare minimum necessity.
Be open to the possibility that he told you the truth, but don't trust blindly and keep your eyes open for any other warning signs.
I know you said you'd wait for her. But that's not what you should do. If she comes back in a year and wants something with you go for it. But if you're trying to get her to do something she doesn't want to do it will drive her away. Your best, and cleanest route is to agree with her and just move on. There are 3 billion other women out there and I'm sure you can find someone good for you. Drama is common for 20 year olds (averaging your ages out) so try to make the least amount by just dropping contact. Make her messages not give you notifications and block her on things if you find it hot to not talk to her.
He has kissed another woman once …
He has kissed another woman once …
For instance, things like drugs or illegal content relating to children.
i just dont understand why he wants to keep spending time with me and have me meet his parents if he doesnt want me… i just dont get it… its so confusing
I’m not going to detail about how much or how I donate but I already do and you don’t have enough context to know that. I keep in contact with the kids and have seen where they money goes ( then graduating school etc. ) so no I wouldn’t keep doing it if it was “nuisance “.
If you don’t want someone controlling who you can be friends with then this guy isn’t for you.
Some people just can’t handle it. Which is fine. But if I were dating someone who was dictating whom I could be friends with, we’d not be dating anymore.
Is your husband a Captain with 7 children?
Why keep secrets. We had a whole discussion about it and I told the truth 100 percent. He told me half truths and left a lot out. So now his exes who just randomly (I think) pop up and harass me catch me off guard and I’m left looking stupid and it’s like our relationship isn’t a good one. Both on the sketchy part.
Thank you ??
Let's be clear here – you know for a fact he is violating your trust – deleting the texts and then lying to you is 100% certain.
I agree with you that he has some emotional involvement with his reaction, “You act like you don't want me there at all”. Talking with the ex is likely only going to muddy the water further. She might lie and deny an affair for a number of reasons. You might falsely confess to an affair for a number of reasons. Or she might tell the truth either way. You'll never know.
Finally, the other interactions only are another massive red flag.
My opinion is this guy needs validation from other women, and he's not valuing what you're giving him. If this is the case, I don't think there is much you can do to salvage the relationship. The behavior will continue. I could be wrong.
Good luck to you!
She doesn't love you. You can't force yourself to love someone. You're never going to be happy with her. Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn't love you?
I know it's hot, but you need to end it. Get yourself into therapy to help you through this and so you're not tempted to get back together with her.
She isn't a good person because she knows she doesn't love you and never will, yet she stayed with you and took you back. That's wrong.
Cause I thought there was chemistry
It starts with clothes….what's next. Your body is not a boundary. The only reason who you sleep with is a boundary is that affects him and most relationships are monogamous. You are not his. You are yours.
Some infections can be both transmitted sexually and by other means
Right? A fucking 45 year old literally acting like somebody 30 years younger. How immature, especially since OP has apologized for her actions.
Sarah deserves to live! in misery, which apparently is a theme for her since she's been stewing on what an upset teenager did to her more than a decade ago. OP's dad is just fucking pathetic, picking a random woman over the child he helped bring into the world. They don't deserve any better than who they ended up with.
I've dated girls longer than this without knowing their names, names are overrated
Yeah, but consider many never do get that frontal lobe, ever.
Cheaters lie, cheaters hide, cheaters blame to others or to alcohol. He cheated on you, he is cheating on you and will cheat on you. Bad relationships begin with one night stands. There are men like Jared but without cheating everywhere.
I'm sorry, I thought it was clear that I was joking.
I'd never be able to look at him the same way. My heart would be shattered and he would no longer be the man I fell in love with.
Presumably after a year and a half he's aware you're shy. In my opinion, it's the responsibility of the person introducing their partner to loved ones to make them feel comfortable and included in the conversation. It's rude of him to make you feel bad for not being super talkative right off the bat, especially when he knows that it takes some time for you to feel comfortable around new people.
He owes you an apology for his comment and you two should talk about how HE can help you feel more relaxed next time. It can help a lot for him to ask you questions and actively prompt your participation instead of expecting you to pipe up yourself when that isn't your personality.
Fine to not have career ambitions. Not fine to not contribute to someone’s partnership. If he doesn’t want to pursue an earlier career, he still needs to work a full-time job and contribute to their household. If he doesn’t work, he sure as hell should be taking on more of their housework.
If he wants to stay stagnant in his life then he needs to do it single.
This….is literally an admission girl what more are you wanting?
This….is literally an admission girl what more are you wanting?
Had nightmares about me cheating on him or leaving him, which has led to him barely talking to me over text.
Has gotten sad(?)/distant if I don't reply quickly enough.
I feel like he'll end his life if I leave him. I told him this a few days ago, and he said that even though he wouldn't, he'd have thoughts about it.
Tries to make you suffer when he has emotions he doesn't like. Punishes you with the silent treatment when you don't reply on his timeline. Implies it would be your fault if he did self-harm.
That's manipulative. That's controlling.
YOU ARE NOT BEING UNREASONABLE. Get away from him.
It’s not a boundary if you say he can’t do something. It IS a boundary if you say you will leave him if he prioritizes his friendship over you. So yes, you are being controlling.
This is not forgivable.
It’s not just live! flirting. It’s not just a one night stand. He emotionally AND physically cheated on you. He took the whole package somewhere else.
He cheated on you with a flat out AFFAIR with another woman for 6 months. The lying he had to do…the fact that he came home and kissed you? Acted like he loved you at all while playing you for a fool?!
Absolutely dispicable. Throw all his shit outside. Change the locks. Block him. BYE!
This is not forgivable.
It’s not just live! flirting. It’s not just a one night stand. He emotionally AND physically cheated on you. He took the whole package somewhere else.
He cheated on you with a flat out AFFAIR with another woman for 6 months. The lying he had to do…the fact that he came home and kissed you? Acted like he loved you at all while playing you for a fool?!
Absolutely dispicable. Throw all his shit outside. Change the locks. Block him. BYE!
Well since you find redeeming qualities in the guy, let's look into possible approaches. Is he capable of shutting his phone off for the duration of the date? Can he set up an auto-response voice message or text, saying that if the incoming call or message isn't urgent it will be answered the next day, and if it is urgent, please call or text (your number, a pager, or an answering service)? Let him consider these and other strategies and pick one. You'll soon see if he can enjoy an evening with you without interruption, or if he has an anxiety attack when he's without an active phone before the date is half over.
!UpdateMe
This seems like a mismatch. Please don’t stay with her just because she moved with you. Offer to move her back to where she came from. It appears to me that you would hate your life if you married her.
She needs to look live! and see if there is a way she can find a camera detector. If the man is going through her windows into her house, then he probably already put cameras all over inside that she doesn't know about. He already knew his wife went to confront her because he tried to do damage control the same day.
ok, so the friend doesnt want to do it, but doesnt she has to do the swiping? Or is your GF going to pick her BF? What happens if a guy sends a message? Who is going to answer that? This can get so complicated.
Nobody is going to care about your wall of text.
I wouldn't even finish reading it.
…NEXT…!
I would consider this a HUGE red flag and end this relationship. You have to decide what is acceptable to you. This would not be acceptable to me – at all.
What is there to “agree” with? Trans people exist. If you don’t want to be trans then don’t. But when trans people are four times as likely to be victims of a violent crime, it isn’t about being accepted or agreed with it about survival.
I would consider the idea about what is better to leave first or to be left? Because it is obvious they have something at the end someone will take a decision, Laura, He or you? Which is your choice?
Well this man child sounds like literal trash. Get rid of him ASAP and go start your life. Believe me, it’s actually quite a low bar to want a partner who doesn’t ::checks notes:: fuck his sister. As a side note- I never thought I’d see the day I’d be trying to convince an internet stranger to leave their partner because he was ::checks notes again:: still fucking his sister.
Do you want to continue with this
I have been in situations where I've had my SO with a roommate. I would go out for a run if the roommate or my SO was working at home. In those instances, we had two floors. So I could always go to another floor. We do have another place that is one floor. I will go out on the balcony to read or draw or go out for a walk. I need downtown time to process and be by myself. Sometimes I just drive around to be alone in the car.
WIth COVID, my worklife changed. We work from home now.
RIP this relationship.
To a lot of people, birthdays of adults are not a big deal. I realize to you they are, but you can't expect everyone else to care about that. You did get some good feels, maybe be content with that?
Your tender feelings do seem a little narcissistic to me. Recognize that you might not be that fun to be around and why should others share your celebration?
I suppose I'll get downvoted for this, but it's just the way I see it.
Say no. And then nothing else except maybe “we can talk about purchasing a car when your credit card is zero”.
No one can take advantage of you without your permission. Tell him that if it were a family business, you'd do your share (in return for half-ownership of course) but otherwise you're out for the festival.
I was fine with her drinking as I had only seen her have at most one drink every so often and we have hung out every weekend for 6 months so I know there hasn’t been much drinking but it really doesn’t align with my lifestyle. But I feel hypocritical because I did use to drink a long time ago when I was younger.
Sorry I had to get less specific because It kept telling me post removed, I mean fish smell downstairs
Stop dating people that hate themsleves
They are often a huge cheating risk because the high level of insecurity and self image issues they have
Mean when they get attention from new people, it's like catnip to them as its “new” validation
I made this mistake in my past but only once as now, if someone makes it clear they cant love themselves, or see the actual person everyone else does in the mirror
I move on before they have chance to cheat
Edited. Noted it afterwards.
“He didn’t have to offer up solutions, I wasn’t asking for them”- Is this his go-to when trying to deal with problems (to be the solutions guy)? If so, this may have just been his way of trying to help.
If you don't communicate how you feel and things get left unspoken or mistranslated, then resentment will build. Did you ever actually ask your husband to hug you? Have you asked your husband if he would like a hug? It is quite possible that both of you want hugs but both feel unable to ask for them because you're so focused on being strong and helpful for others all the time.
Instead of feeling resentment, I would recommend going and having a big hug with your husband- it will do you both a lot of good.
Maybe he's worried that your new friend might have shady intentions. You have to remember that a guy in a relationship is supposed to be the protector. Whether you agree with that comment is irrelevant because it's still very relevant to him, and you need to take into account his feelings.