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Carina, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 1, 2022
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Communication is for a better future. Respect is for a better future. Not this…nobody has the right to give you the silent treatment to manipulate you into doing what they want you to do. If you are not eating healthy then it's up to you to fix it by exercising and eating better…your choice and not hers to punish you. You gave up cricketing for her…why? It's something you love to do. You should have things you like to do outside of marriage and have friends and not spend every minute with her…it's not healthy because you lose sight of who you are. You lose yourself.
He's a narcissistic monster. He's telling you what to expect from him. If you let him lie to you instead of reading the very clear message he is writing on the wall, you will be telling him it's OK to cheat on you. I mean… in his eyes, he probably doesn't consider himself lying to you since it's so blatant.
You are deranged. Op I dm'd you if you have questions about bpd.
But wait, how could this be a coping mechanism?
Stop drinking and try to stay busy. Bring on your own, drunk with your own thoughts are not good op.
Stop the drinking.
NTA.
While she’s not your kid, you’re teaching her to be responsible.
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Make a compromise with them, say OK I will be part of some photos as long as you promise not to post any on social media.
Then, if they break this promise, you have every right to categorically refuse to be in any photo moving forward.
It’s honestly very hot to say if it’s 100% new but it’s at least more intense.
Your dad is a POS. HE has been sleeping with a Minor and has NO QUALMS sharing your bf With you!. No Shame and No Guilt AT ALL!.
DONT LET HIM PLAY VICTIM and sell you some sad stories about the not able to be himself (gay) openly or what not.
I suggest to go NC on your DAD for life.
Please say his name is Dale
Yes
I think most people would want to know about this situation.
I would maybe point out to the girl in his class that he has a GF in someway.
Like what did you and [gf's name] get up to this weekend? In front of her.
If you're going to approach the gf, you need evidence to back it up.
Or even a simple inquiry like creating an anonymous account and ask her “Have you ever heard of [girls name] from your boyfriend? I saw them kissing and it confused me because I thought he was in a relationship with you.”
That was my point totally unwilling to compromise could be because of the need for control due to trauma. Part of ptsd issues is I cannot ride share with anyone unless I have the keys and drive, our last house had one entrance exit into the kitchen. I must always have a way to flee. I trust my husband even my child, but blocking me will trigger me to panic. I need to control the ability to flee, by exiting or driving away.
We have had sex a couple times so I think it’s a relationship he’s just too kind if that makes sense. It’s kinda made me put my guard up
You’re getting so hung up on watering the plants that I’m starting to suspect that you don’t see how big the issue is.
Your husband knows that he’s hurting you, overwhelming you and not pulling his weight. What sort of adult “begs” for someone to make dinner? My nephew is 9 and he won’t beg for food, he’ll just go and make himself a sandwich.
Take the plants out of the equation. He gives zero fucks about helping you and participating in the household life. Let that sink in.
She needs some professional help—and so do you do you can learn to shut this stuff down.
I’d start making an exit plan to move out.
He is emotionally cheating on you. And will probably actually cheat on you if he gets the chance.
yea its not allowed at all. I was thinking about doing that too, but have my reservations about how it would affect me as a writer.
I think the long distance relationship was a bad idea. Let it go. You’re very young and you will find better guys.
You say you worry you won’t find anyone like him. But he’s literally the only guy you’ve tried dating. Get out there and find someone who actually wants to make an effort to be with you.
Autism is not a excuse to verbally abuse other person.
Saying she the fuck up to person he “loves” just because you want to be with him is just sick.
OP do you really want to be target for such behavior?
Yes, it’s time to ignore him. I don’t mean this to be rude, but he sees you as and is treating you as a back up option. And not even a back up option for a long term partner but just as an occasional one night stand when he’s bored. AND he doesn’t even commit to that much.
I can’t say this last bit for sure, but in my experience when a man is seeing other people, makes plans, then cancels-he’s briefly on the outs with a more significant partner and makes the plans, and then they patch things up and he cancels the plans.
He doesn’t have any serious interest in you. Which is no reflection on you, just to say where he is at.
At the very least you can be sure he’s not interested in anything serious with you. So if nothing else, if you’re looking for a serious relationship you know that isn’t what he wants, so you can cross him off the list.
I wrote that not knowing who is on which side of the inequality. It sounds like you are the one who, for now, is the one making less. Maybe you can resolve this concern with a mutually beneficial prenuptial.
Good luck mate, your wording seems very clear and empathic and at the same time respectful and down to earth. This is not easy per se, lest in such a difficult situation. Let me add again though that until you two (yes, two together) can somehow manage to make the BIL move out, I’m afraid that you will always be condemned to go on like this and labelled as the bad guy, I don’t see much room to rebuild the relationship with your wife (if there is any – frankly things sounds a bit shady) as long as you have him in the same house and so much disrespectfully on top of that too. Wish you all the best, really. Don’t leave before fighting till the very end though!
yes but even the most left among us have implicit biases. considering that embedded within a lot of the framing of crime tends racist dog whistles, it's probably worth exploring that thread with him.
Losing*