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your fingers in my pussy while I dance [Multi Goal]
Date: October 16, 2022
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If coming from someone who does that themselves, then sure, but what happens if you're talking about someone who doesn't wash themselves but once a week? Would you be willing to listen to such a person telling you about taking a shower and brushing your teeth?
The reality is that your asks are conditional to what you're doing for yourself. If you're not in shape then it becomes difficult to believe someone in shape will seriously want you. If you don't eat right then you're not going to attract someone who does. It's all conditional.
Tell him that how obvious he is being about it is really damn embarrassing and you can't deal with it much longer, he needs to get his creeper ass shit together. This is not okay.
This is me telling you it's 100% okay to get shitty with him over this, it's bad on so many levels.
Where
I understand what you are saying, thank you so much. I really loved her and i still do. But the things happened in our relationship really took a toll on me. I lost around 10kg in the past months and I started loosing hair due to stress i think.
She really needs help. One time she had fight with her mom and she said she will suicide and i had to travel to her home in midnight. I not bragging what i did for her but all these things were too much for me.
Another big problem happened was, she had a toxic ex and she was still in contact with him and i asked her why are you still in contact with the toxic ex who even had doubts with you and your father and i asked her to block him. Which she did. Later after few months, i got to know that she unblocked him and saw his name in her Facebook search/suggestion thingy.
I asked her why did you do that, are you still not over him? And i made her ask her friend’s opinion about it and her friend said what she did was wrong and she didn’t like what her friend said and later she tried to overdose because of the fight.
I don’t know if that fight was my jealousy or anything but I didn’t understand why she is doing that, he is not a kind of person anyone wants to keep in life and seeing she’s doing the opposite kinda made me feel bad.
I still wants to try to work on this relationship but all those lies and fake promises she made to me while looking for a new person behind the pact and promises which we made is hurting me.
Sounds like your boyfriend is still going through puberty. He has some issues and needs to grow up a bit. Better tell him to stay out of the gym because he might see a Weiner and be a cheater. Oh and possibly gay I guess too.
I don’t see why they would. It’s a 2-on-1 handicap match in your favor.
You've told him not to have aex with you while you are on this drug and he is anyway – that is rape. I wouldn't even be able to look my husband in the eye if that were the case.
Get yourself safe.
I’m so dumb ? Sorry yes this makes sense!
A movie comes to mind. – His just not that into you . Sometimes we just need a smack against the head to realise we wasting our time and move on to better things
If your boyfriend has a problem with confrontation maybe you should confront his roommate yourself. Just pin his ears back and ask him what the fuck his problem is and why he thinks it's OK to interfere in your relationship. It's not up to him to decide whether emotional cheating is really cheating. It's between you and your boyfriend and maybe you should point that out to him and tell him to butt the fuck out and mind his own business. I don't like confrontation myself but I'll be damned if I sit back and have somebody treat me like I'm some kind of 2nd class citizen just because they don't like something I did. Someone needs to tell the roommate to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a teenager and getting all butt hurt because he doesn't like the way you treated his friend. It's not up to him to like it or not… it's up to your boyfriend.
This guy is incredibly manipulative. He deliberately set up the, I'm gonna kill myself so you'd let him stay over and he'd have the opportunity to snoop. Consult your lawyer and let your lawyer know what he did so you can prepare for him to use this against you & know what legal action you should take.
And this is your sign to only communicate with your ex via lawyers. And absolutely never be alone with him again if you have to be with him in person you need to have at least 1 other person present at all times. Preferably a man.
I would be so embarrassed to date someone like that and I don't know how you have any respect for him at all.
He says things like taxes are more important than abortion issues so to just get over it? What happens if you move somewhere strict and you need or want a termination? What if you're denied healthcare because he was grubby and greedy and didn't care about how these polices hurt others.
What if you have kids and your child is trans? He's “claimed” to you in the past that's okay but mocking people and their gender/sexual identities and dismissing what they go through to just being “chopping off a dick” is so damaging and is one of the main reasons so many trans youth are at risk of suicide. A lack of support and an increased risk of being rejected when they come out is dangerous for them.
I don't think you have to agree on everything but basic fundamental human rights is a pretty big thing to clash on.
Why are you still with someone who thinks so little of you..
How old are you both? How long have you been together?
What did she say? Why were you looking through her phone?
Nope. She’s gone. Leave her. She should have thought it through before sending the very hot. She wanted his validation.
Yup!! OP SHOULD USE THIS AS AN UNO REVERSE CARD ?
what is with the recent trend of posts that are like “my boyfriend/husband is just a goofy little guy 🙂 [insert story about him being an unfunny asshole for literally no reason].” i feel like I’ve seen at least five this week. in this case he’s at least only 18 so he could probably become more mature, but he wont do that if you keep making excuses for his shitty behavior. friends are already distancing themselves from you (and tbh i doubt this is literally the only reason why if your boyfriend often acts like this) and if he doesnt shape up, he’s probably going to do something that REALLY embarrasses you and splashes back on you even more than this did
Being edgy or messing around with people still makes you a complete asshole. You’re a bigger asshole for seeing it play out and not correcting his behavior
That's literally what irregular cycles do.
First, dump that friend, she's no friend. That's a shitty thing to do to someone. Shitty for your husband to pull that shit the day b4 you marry as well.
You need to work on your self esteem…that's an inside job. Only you can do this. Also, decide what you want, if you want to stay with this AH or not. Don't carry this around…my aunt is still jealous that my uncle like my mom first…this has been 65+ years ago and she's jealous of my mom to this day. My mom was never interested in my uncle.theres a LOT of bitterness if you keep holding on to this. I know he totally destroyed your trust. I suggest couples counseling too. He destroyed that trust you had in him.
Move on that’s what you should do. Have you ever heard the saying “if it’s meant to be it will happen”. She told you no already just move on
Wether your wife likes it or not, your ex will always be part of your life. Her not feeling secure is something she needs to work on. Asking you to cut contact to your ex and the mother of your older children is unreasonable.
Marriage counseling.
Your wife is being completely unfair, and frankly incredibly mean. Your mom is a success story and an inspiration.
I echo others here that say she needs therapy. But that can be tough to juggle. How is she going to react to her own body changing permanently? Almost every woman I know doesn’t get their normal body back for many months to years, if ever.
Can you give some examples of how you’re self sabotaging?
Your arms are too short to box with God – or drug addiction. This is above your efforts to help.
Change your locks, get STD tested, and move on OP. Don’t end up in Hell chasing after her.
First of all stop asking your partner to remind you, a grown ass adult, how to pick up after yourself. She isn't your mother. She's your partner.
Secind, honestly watch youtube videos and the like to basically reteach yourself how to clean and spot messes. Once you know how to SEE a mess, it gets easier to clean up after yourself.
Third, have you potentially considered seeing a doc about maybe having ADHD? Not seeing messes, general clutter, and forgetting to pick up and clean could be adhd. Im not trying to diagnose you im just saying it may be worth looking into if this sort of thing has been a life long struggle for youbb
I find it very disrespectful to both her and your husband's family that you expect your SIL's long time best friend, who is clearly part of the family at this point, to disappear into exile because your husband slept with her once, an eternity ago and I'm guessing before he met you.
You're petty, jealous despite your claims (otherwise you would not care this intently after 12 years), and probably need therapy to get over your issues instead of attempting to permanently alienate your husband and children from their relatives because of whatever morass of ugliness is happening in your head.
He shouldn’t
It’s not a question of it being “okay.” Your girlfriend has feelings for her ex. You don’t want to be in a situation like that. You only end up more hurt. Leave. Good luck.
Holy crap, he has a place reserved in hell
my man, you giving rides or going for quick lunches, dinners or drinks with female friends or colleagues, your wife should know before hand. Don't let her know about these in-directly. Would you like it if your wife did this 2 or 3 times a week without telling you first?
Run!!!! As fast & as far as you can. Make a plan. Get out. Your life & your baby's is about to become a living hell. Do you have family you can call to come get you? DV shelters nearby?
Randok hypothetical number: .1% of 400million people is 4 million people, so it's a lot of people! But what .1% of people do is weird AF. I've never met anyone in person in my entire life who keeps ashes from dead animals.
Even given that, It's not one single behavior on it's own that's weird, it's the overall pattern of behavior combined.
Being scared is no way to be in a relationship. Trust that initial instinct. I am glad you came here looking for advice.
Thanks for sharing all of this with us. It's nice to see reminders that communication and approaching your relationship as a team make a huge difference. I hope you guys have an awesome couples trip.
I think if a bio dad comes out of the woodworks, a judge's hands would be tied. OP's husband needs to talk to a lawyer about this.
Yeah, I think you and dev-246 nailed it. She should have been over him to the point where she didn't need to say goodbye again. Everything should have been said by now. The fact that he was leaving town and they got together to “talk” for 5 hours is ridiculous. She obviously still has/had feelings for him.
She kept pushing back the time you were going to meet, every time she chose him over you. If you hadn't shown up how much longer would they have been “talking” in the car? Now she wants to meet up, for what? There's nothing worth saying, just move on.
OP,
the joke is disrespectful to her
As she is your girlfriend friend, what is disrespectful to her is disrespectful to you.
If you feel bad then tell your girlfriend about it. If she is serious about the relationship, then you will find a compromise.
Don’t let anyone dismiss your feeling, they are legitimate.
Actually we have 4 kids, we originally wanted 6 kids, but with my last pregnancy and birth it just went really wrong and I started hemorrhaging, and I'm still today having complications from that. So we decided we were done, and now I'm on birth control.
I would be careful to go to these types of events or not go…
We carry but we don't necessarily want to mingle with people who would pull a weapon over an argument. We carry for protection and not to threaten/intimidate people.
As for your gf, she definitely shouldn't coming to these types of events if she doesn't understand that y'all were in a precarious situation.
2 things can be true, it's weird af to try to go to a barber appt like you're his mom and maybe he's talking like a misogynist ah. I mean how he worded what they talk about is weird. If he's respectful of women, all women, normally then I'd chalk it up to odd wording and you need to de cling yourself.
What's the point of trying? Are they going to become less bigoted and let you live comfortably?
Is she Latina by chance? I'm with a latino man now and he was the one who told me it was womens day, got me flowers and everything. Culturally he said that it's a lot more important in colombia and he was shocked I didn't know about it. Btw I'd make it up to her by programming it in your phone for next year and doing something nice with her. She can't be that mad if you weren't aware of the expectation. Now you know.
And the abuse continues. When will you stop it?
Girl empowerment time!
Fuel your anger into making 2 big changes, 1. Lose the weight and 2. When you have lost said weight, achieve said goal, slap him with the divorce papers on your way to your new apartment THAT HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT.
As you're going to the gym and therapy to regain your confidence, you're making silent moves towards a better and brighter future.
You can do this, turn your sadness into fuel to get you back, all of you. Enough time wasted on this person. His issues are no longer yours.
Ready………………. Break!
Rooting for you OP!!!
Men are fertile well into later life
To keep your life on track you could:
abort adopt out kinship fostering (a relative does the childcare until you're finished with school)
You're being used and then crying about it. I'm a married woman with standards. You need to stop insulting me young lady.
When someone shows you their true colors. Believe them.
Even if this would have been an old girlfriend that texted you. Someone lost their mom and your gf reaction is to mark her territory? Empathy is an attractive trait that your gf seems to lack.
No. Separate your finances. You aren’t married and he’s already trying to control you financially. At best I’d agree to a joint account for household purposes only. Or separate entirely and decide who pays how much each month out of your individual accounts. This way your money can be spent at your discretion without having to explain to anyone what your spending your money on. Just because he makes slightly more than you doesn’t mean he gets to decide if and when you can spend your money.
No. Separate your finances. You aren’t married and he’s already trying to control you financially. At best I’d agree to a joint account for household purposes only. Or separate entirely and decide who pays how much each month out of your individual accounts. This way your money can be spent at your discretion without having to explain to anyone what your spending your money on. Just because he makes slightly more than you doesn’t mean he gets to decide if and when you can spend your money.
Why the fuck are you with this guy? He sounds absolutely deranged and id believe him when he says he's going to kill you. Leave.
People say things that are in their mind. Words are not empty. Words come from thoughts. Take these thoughts of him seriously. This situation will escalate. Please get yourself safe.
First, as others have said, yes. You made a mistake. Let's take all of the other circumstances out for a moment. You cannot tell you partner what they can and cannot do, where they can and cannot go. Yes, this is within reason, you can say to your partner “it's not ok if you go bang some other person”, but you still cannot instruct them not to. Your partner is not your child. It's not your pet. It's not your property.
All of that said, you've got the ick about this guy, and that's totally understandable. 20 year old dudes who already have a kid are the kind of people that don't care if they have a girlfriend and have no problem putting the moves on your girl. In short, your feelings of discomfort are totally valid.
So, how do you handle this kind of thing? First, pull back from any type of language that goes near “I'm not letting you go to this.” That possessive, or even passively possessive bullshit will only drive her away from you and likely towards motorcycle dipshit.
You are entitled to your feelings, and voicing them. “Hey, GF. I handled that whole thing wrong. You are your own person. You should go wherever you want and do what you want, and I stood in the way of that. That was not the right way to handle it. That said, motorcycle dipshit is someone that makes me uncomfortable. If there was someone hanging around me a lot that made you feel uncomfortable, I'd want to hear you out on it, and try to create some seperation to put you at ease. Can we talk about ways that I might feel at ease? He's going to be around your work, obviously, and I want you to be able to be friendly and comfortable at work. But one-on-one time with someone who's interested in you def makes me uncomfortable. Is that a line that we can both agree on, not only in this case, but for both of us going forward?”
Why isn’t he working?
This^
I would spit in his fucking face, and I don't say that lightly and have no issues with my weight. It is beyond fucked up that he expects this of you.
What happens when he doesn't like the number
OP calls it sexting. You call it “being flirty and having fun.” She's already cheated. I don't know why you're recasting cheating as “having fun.” OP definitely isn't having fun.
Maybe get some therapy.
Yeast allergy you reckon?
He might feel like your communication style needs some work. And you might feel like he is being an overbearing asshole.
The truth is likely somewhere in between.
Do nothing, move on. It wasn’t meant to be and you’ll find someone
You should have broken up the first time.
The fact she was still sending nudes to him means she was not over him. And your relationship was a lie.
There are men who go without sex. My partner waited for 3 years and never once even hinted at any sort of pressure or coercion. Your boyfriend is a disgusting human being for the way he treats you. Its serious and you would be putting yourself in danger to downplay it.
He is not ready for a baby and he is being honest about that. Nothing wrong with not being ready to be a parent, mistakes can happen. Its a major commitment, and I think forced parenthood is wrong. If you want to keep the baby, prepare to be a single parent. Don’t just have the child and hope he comes around around. He is telling you he is not ready. You can get child support though.
Not to sound like Dr Seuss, but bro, she's a hoe, and you need to go.
This age is soo weird. 5% chance to get pregnant, 5% chance of perimenopause. Its such an in between life stage.
Yeah in hindsight I need to get a fucking grip, if a couple of years ago a friend said this to me I’d think she was behaving like a petulant child. But I’ve been through some bad shit, and I’ve had a lot of time, maybe too much, to reflect. Now I do have grace with people, because I’m starting to realise that actually, people with surface issues so small, that seem to struggle with day to day shit that for most people, wouldn’t even cross their minds, probably have something bigger going on beneath the surface.
Although I have ups and downs, at the minute my healings sort of at a plateau, and clearly, I’ve got a huge dent in my self esteem. Now that I actually am at a point where I have no immediate issues to address, I’m dealing with the fallout of years of homelessness and abuse. I honestly don’t even know how I have come out of it the other side, or how I even found my boyfriend, but I did. Realistically, my life is much better than anyone thought it would’ve been. He understands, and I guess that’s all that matters.
If anyone sounds shallow, it’s you. Don’t judge so fast. Especially here, people are just asking for advice.
Ignoring the cheating…
Your BF, as a 28 year old, went after an 18 year old. Red Flag.
He hit you. BIG FUCKING RED FLAG.
GET OUT NOW.
I also don’t know if I should block the catfish account bc then my fiancé will know I know something, or should I keep talking to them like normal? Idk
This went from buying laundry baskets and not doing his laundry (due to his complaint about how you do his laundry) to him being argumentative, punching his car and screaming.
That level of escalation would prompt me to move to a safe location on a permanent basis and rethink your dynamics/relationship.
Wait, when you said paint her feet black or white did you mean the whole foot or just her nails? I had no idea black or white nails were for porn stars??
Okay? But anyone who knowingly engages someone in a relationship is still wrong. So is the person looking for it. Not getting your point here
Your BF's concept of boundaries are messed up. He gets to control HIMSELF, not others. You are not wearing short dresses AT him, you are simply wearing a short dress. If he doesn't like it, he can break up and find another girl.
Have the argument. It’s time.
Me*
Do you understand that her religion explicitly forbids what she is doing? Having a boyfriend is forbidden, even if there is no sex. And even associating with an atheist/agnostic is frowned upon. It's pretty clear that her family and religion come first, which doesn't leave space for you.
have you sit with your BF to know why he decided alone that your dream trip in asia will be with his friends, a plan you rejected long time ago?
misunerstanding or not, it sounds like “you go with your friends against my advice ? OK i will do this too one day.” Seriously, it is a casus belli. the first thing he will hear is that you want to cheat on him. And in your position, i would consider to leave with all my stuff while he is gone in Asia without you. i am pretty sure the same idea will hit him. Even if you don't take revenge, you will resent him for the rest of your life.
canceling the friendly trip entirely is the best course of action. but only him can do it. warn him that he is about to severly damage your relationship. he should stop everything right now to think if placing his friends before his GF is really what he want.
Gonna use his pov but as a 20 year old college kid my priority is my future and i rather hang with the boys than a 7 month gf. I’m willing to bet you planned both days?
We don't cuddle after sex. We clean up, get dressed and play on our phone or he games and I window shop live. Generally same room but other than a quick kiss we don't really do anything like what you're wanting. I'm not sure why you'd feel used after, especially if you know that's not what he's doing. I mean I have had relationships where I have felt that way after but it's because he'd keep going after I told him I was done/no longer in the mood/etc. to the point of tears. But my husband and I have very clear expectations. We've also been Best friends for almost a decade though too. If it helps I'm 27 and he's 31.
Something that has stuck in my mind as a concern is that he's described them all as crazy.
Sure they are. If “crazy” means “don't do everything he says at the exact second he says it and doesn't push back on his insecure bullshit.”
You're an actual adult and he's playing at being one. There's a REASON he goes for younger women: they match his maturity level.
Put yourself first and stop letting him jerk you around.