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Chilli, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 7, 2022
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I admire your insight to know you’re her bf and not her dad. When it comes to any form of substance use or change of behaviour you can not expect a person to change just because you’ve asked them too. They must want to change first.
Now back to the actual topic at hand. Like many others said this could be a problem and it might be nothing. Motivation for drug use is often experimental or from peer pressure. Other motivating factors exist but these are the two big ones with first time substance use. What’s important to keep in mind is that you have no control over this behaviour. Right now the ball is in your court. It’s up to you to approach this calmly and rationally. It sounds like you may have a negative view point of substances. Which is totally fine everyone views substance use differently. But the stronger a reaction you have to this situation the more judged and stigmatized she’ll feel for her use. It’s perfectly natural to have concerns for substance use. There’s definitely an appropriate time and place to ask her to discuss this like adults. Try not to make it sound like you’re judging or coming down on her. Instead try framing it more as a casual conversation. Express your concerns, offer her support, and come up with a solution that leaves both of you happy.
Source: I’m a front line addictions counsellor. Please feel free to pm me