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Chlo, é ♡︎, y.o.
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Date: October 9, 2022
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He is in therapy now and has been since before I met him. I’m not sure I’ve seen any change. (Also on meds) I get the feeling that he is perhaps not doing any of the exercises he is being asked to do by his therapist.
Everyone here thinking its inappropriate that he bought her a gift. She said herself they're basically family, families buy gifts for each other. I fail to see why him giving or her accepting the gift is inappropriate.
And yet some people here are justifying the boyfriends behaviour? Talk about a skewed world view.
Not everyone is good at reading subtlety and body language. Maybe you are just incompatible. He wants to break up, because now he has to wnder if all the intimacy you ad was just him forcing himself on you. What else is there you don't enjoy and only makes him think you do, is anther thing for him to wonder. Assuming he cares about you of course it makes him feel like shit.
Not to be people pleaser. Therapy might help.
The ones I know that have been fixed was done with help of their friends/loved ones. Although it takes time and effort, not to mention not everyone is good at doing emotional labour. Your boyfriend is not good at it.
Well with new relationships and traumatized people, especially when one has never had a relationship I am aware there is some learning to do and compromises to discuss, which we do.
But your opinion is where I lean, not sure if that’s me being logical or just submitting to my trust issues and jadedness towards love.
Tell him to go for some hormone therapy first. Then if that does not cure his toxic masculinity you will think about it.
Is it? Women don’t tend to watch exploited men get broken and used by sex work to cum. This tends to be a male activity.
Men don’t say shit about is when they can’t have sex with us…. They kill us. They literally kill women and put us in literal garbage cans. It’s not women who are mass shooters because they are virgins.
Men created this economy, they fought for the right to create and sell porn and make money off the bodies of the women THEY USE. And then they CRY because watching the woman so much they can’t cum without it.
I don’t feel bad. This is on you. It’s all your (mens) fault. And it can be fixed but men are usually too weak to fix it. Ironic
Just take some time to think of it from his perspective. He’s getting anxious, not sure about how to express himself. Men seem to struggle a lot more with emotions understandably so, just remind yourself that he needs time.
But, come to a compromise. I personally can’t handle being ignored (not that that is what’s happening here), so tell him. “It’s okay to need time, we do need to talk about it but if you need time to collect your thoughts that’s ok. But I need transparency, let me know “I’m feeling overwhelmed and need some time to calm down and think about this””