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chloe-bigoobs chat
Date: October 15, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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First off, speak to your mother, tell her you are not comfortable with this at all, and if she follows through on her plan she will have done serious and possibly irreparable damage to her relationship with you. Next, warn your friend and tell him that if he even entertains the idea, your friendship is over. Asking your mother to not date your friends is a perfectly reasonable and valid boundary to have, especially as she has known your friend since he was a literal child.
Imo, there are 2 ways you could go about handling this. The mature route with having a civilized conversation or a petty route… Pull them to the side and have a conversation with them on what you are seeing and what you've heard. Let them know you aren't being messy, but what is going has been bothering you and you would like to address it. Your boyfriend has been telling you what they've been saying when you aren't around and you find it disrespectful. Especially since they don't know you. Also, if they don't respect you, then they need to respect your boyfriend's relationship. I can say if he isn't paying them any attention or feeding into their advances then you shouldn't care ooor if you have this type of personality. You could F with them. They sound young and petty, so you could be overly nice/friendly and start random conversations just to see how they respond. It's like that old saying of keeping your “enemies” closer. They don't seem like a threat especially how you explained how your bf is moving. The intent is to build a working relationship with them, but letting them know at the same time I know what yall are on and about, so try me mindset.
I see him maybe twice a week because im in school 🙁
you can always try to rekindle the flame after med school if it doesn’t workout. if you give up your dream, you will start to resent him for it, which may cost you your relationship anyway!
There really isn't a way to discuss this with Asian Parents (APs). I'm Indian too, and you can check my post history for the details on how my parents are trying desperately to ruin my burgeoning relationship. I've spent hours and hours and hours calmly discussing these sorts of issues with my APs, only to be met with endless guilt-tripping and other abuse.
You gotta just do what you want to do, and you've gotta be prepared for the consequences of doing that. I got disowned and am no-contact with my parents. My relationship may not survive after all their meddling, but even if I lose my gf, freeing myself from my parents' control was worth it.
Some do, and some don't. I bought my wife enough to fill up a hobby lobby treasure chest. If you're scared of being emasculated by a rubber dick with a battery, then you already emasculated yourself imo.
Nah. She's trying to talk him up. She's wingwomaning.
Other men in this world will be hot to her, just as I'm sure other women are hard to you at times. Now, if she gushed endlessly, or was otherwise inappropriate, sure, but she's literally trying to get her friend to ask him out.
Boo hoo.
You come in here wanting people to agree with you that your ex girlfriend can't kick you out, just because you can't commit to marriage and children after NINE YEARS. None of us can agree with you. I explain why, you say it's a bit harsh.
I feel like your ex, manipulated to feel sorry for you when your situation is of your own making. Shit or get off the pot. Grow up. How's that for harsh?
She’s feeling guilty and by telling you (partly!?) the truth, trying to feel better.
There is no way this is the truth though. Try to find out what really happened.
I think people are ignoring the fact that I’ve been having an affair for the past 9 months and my husband hasn’t noticed anything wrong. That should tell you the type of person he is.
Why are we gross?
It’s really difficult to end a friendship, especially when it’s your best friend of many years. I recently had to end a friendship too. It hurts, and you worry if you will end up regretting it. But trust me, over time you will realize that you will regret more allowing who you are supposed to trust hurt you so much. It may be time to prioritize your wellbeing above everything else and move on from this friendship. Don’t keep people in your life if they don’t have your best interests are heart.
Their brains aren't even fully formed and they're popping out kids. They had to on-line with parents, and they're popping out kids.
Good, mature decisions aren't being made here.
Bruh, go home to your wife. The grass isn’t greener. I actually feel sorry for your wife, apart of me wants her to leave you. Your reasons to marry her are horrible. And you just got married.. you want to hook up with a chick you knew in high school? Your wife deserves a lot better than you.
You guys are still young. I'd chill with the spend the rest of our lives together talk and just enjoy things as they are right now.
Get the fuck out of that one quick!
Ditch her and become totally unresponsive. Move away if you have to.
There's so many things wrong with this i dont know where to start.
Your daughter is old enough and smart enough to know your relationship with her dad sucks. You're not doing her the favour you think you are by waiting. All you're doing is creating a shitty toxic environment.
Let me start over. Today is the anniversary of the worse day of my life. I’m 68 and I remember 30 and how stupid I was then and the stupid things I may have done in my 23 yrs of marriage. At age 45 my wife was murdered in a workplace shooting. I never sought therapy because that shit don’t get fixed, it gets lived with. After 1000s of miles driving the oceanside we loved, and just thinking and reflecting the life, there is nothing I won’t give to have it all back.
I don’t know what the two of you mean to each other. If you don’t think there really is a deeper meaning to his action other than him just being an immature imbecile, then let if go.
Has your girlfriend mentioned being displeased with her weight? Does she know why she’s gained that much weight that quickly?
It’s not your role to pester her. She’s told you she doesn’t want to talk about it, it isn’t something she’s going to deal with right now (if she even wants to deal with it, maybe she’s perfectly happy weighing what she weighs!)
You decide if you love her as she is, or not. This whole post is all about what you want for her (in other words, what you want her to be for you), not at all about what she wants for herself. She gets to decide what to do with her body and health. If that’s a dealbreaker for you then move on.
Take her advice and don't wait. move on
Hmmm well that type of dynamic just wouldn’t work for me. I love to chat! Silence is good too, but if you just can’t hold a conversation easily, I would take a deep look into what you need out of a relationship and how this aligns with your long term goals. Good luck!
When, in your opinion, did the world not suck?
Friendship after break ups seem to not work out all the time. Time for you to move on, worry about yourself a bit and get new friends
Your husband’s reaction is quite strange, it sounds like he doesn’t trust you? If I told my husband something like this he would comfort me first and then we would laugh our asses off at the neighbours. I think you need to have a real talk with him about how the incident made you feel and explain that his reaction was hurtful.
I am sure you have but she is reckless with your well-being
Yeah I would agree with you that its one of our only problems haha. I did not actually consider that her therapist reiterated the no contact rule to her so is definitely something to consider and knowing her therapist she definitely said that if they had met last week. One of the things I am trying to work on is not shouldering the blame myself since that was something I've always hot time doing. Thank you so much for your unbiased opinion, it's been hard to get that from our respective friends!
If he's using this as an excuse I doubt he will ever add you. Tell him you are going to be added to the dead anyway because YOU did all the work for it. And YOU do all the work at home. Stop letting him kick you while your back is turned.
I hope she does, and then he sits alone wearing a Pikachu face.
Stop trying to fix it. You fucked up, and your apologies are not reassuring. What you really need to do is figure out WHY you did it, so you can make damn sure it never happens again, because of this was only your first real argument you will definitely do it again if left unchecked. Talk to a therapist to identify what triggered you and steps you can take to handle those feelings appropriately in the future. Your girlfriend may not come back, and I wouldn’t blame her. You need to do this regardless for your own sake and the sake of those around you.
What’s your end goal with this communication? She already stated she didn’t want to be friends. What are you hoping to accomplish?
You need to stop. She made her expectations clear. It’s obvious you can’t handle a woman like her. Go date someone who doesn’t care if you don’t reply to her. By the way, every woman cares. The ones who don’t, they don’t care for you in that way you’re looking for. Grow up.
Why can’t she get loans, financial support from her family, a job? She should be able to work to pay her way without relying on you to pay for everything.
But that's the point, he didn't have intentions. It was him wetting himself during an episode. Loosing control of a bodily function is completely different that being unable to “control himself during sex”. Would you say someone wetting the bed makes them dangerous, because that's the same as what happened during this episode.
When you say a phrase like breaking up isn’t an option, that’s textbook codependency. You had three dates for an entire year? I see my friends across the country more often than that. You don’t need to ask him if he wants to be with you, just bounce and find someone else. You’re holding onto the behavior he used to give you and currently doesn’t anymore. At what point do you say hmm maybe this has run it’s course?
He’s shown you who he really is, so trust him and leave his ass.
Not the same thing, but my exgf did basically the same thing 2 weeks before we broke up, so I know it fucking hurts. You're not overthinking, this is a clear overstep on her side, and y'all need to talk this out if it's going to work out.
Your instinct was right and she lied to you, is all i can see here. You are mad in love and will forgive her but just know, you should not.
That was a classic non-apology (google what he said! He did not apologize. He blamed you for voicing your feelings/having feelings. He didn't take responsibility!!)
He uses you. He insults you. He manipulates you. He guilt trips you. You sacrifice tons for him. You work hot for him (why!?!). Why on earth are you with that person?(!?!) Please take a long hard look at what healthy, mutually beneficial and loving relationships ar build like. You are not in one. Please love yourself more and take your well-being into consideration. There are kind, loving men out there, why would you stay in a relationship with this mean, disrespectful, manipulative POS. I really really hope you break up with him! You deserve do much better!
The steroids aren’t conducive to a healthy sex life in general though which was my original point. Even if they aren’t the problem now, chances are it’ll catch up to OP. I can’t say because im not a woman that cares about masculinity and such. So whether they are mentally turning off his girlfriend or not I can’t say, but if anything is emasculating you’d think it’d be the fact he’s taking hormones to make him more ‘masculine’.
A whole quarter of a year invested? Honestly, that's not much time at all, and perhaps you have not yet earned her trust
It’s a great song.
I don’t know when you’ve voiced these concerns in the past but try not to have these conversations while one of the two of your are initiating sex, it’s the worst time to do it and is bound to lead to hurt feelings because there’s a bit of vulnerability already involved.
Try to sit down and have a conversation with her when sex isn’t relevant at all. Let her know that when she’s gone a few days without showering she’s less fresh and that makes it hot for you to enjoy it as much. It’s not too much to ask that your partner be as clean as possible right before sex but it’s also important to consider her hygiene needs which you’ve clearly done. You can suggest instead of a full shower at least trying a quick rinse off or wipe down with a rag to fresh things up so that she doesn’t have to do the full shower routine just to have sex but you still get your needs in this met as well. You aren’t asking her to completely wax off all of her hair and bleach her asshole and apply scented fragrances to parts of her body or douche, you’re just asking her to take a few moments to clean off any sweat/dampness/dirt that’s built up from the day which isn’t a huge ask by someone who is putting their mouth and genitals on/in your body.
Yes I'm happy with her, since I found out a month ago it's kept popping into my mind and messing up how I see her. I find it repulsive.
The thing is, I found out in a diary she kept, which was only a dozen pages. My curiosity got the better of me driven by us getting serious, mainly the fact of me finalising leaving my country to move in with her. I wanted to know everything.
I brought it up with her and she instantly told me to go, we had an argument and she followed me down the road as I walked out. She kept telling me this was years ago and that it means nothing to our relationship. No mention of remorse or regret, ever.
She also completely blanks it out, like last night we were talking over the 2 fights we've had, healthily talking to reflect and I noticed how one of the fights she 'couldn't remember what is was about', which she did, it was me bringing up the affair she had. The other fight was me losing my temper at a friend of hers which was quickly resolved in the same day, nothing major.
She's desperately trying to forget I found out, which I don't like, I'm not here to blame her but she should own up to the regret and remorse, she clearly doesn't care at all both at the time of the affair and now years later. If she was still single I'm certain she'd do it again in the right scenario. It's what I think is messing my head up more, the 'let's forget about it', like I shouldn't be considering her past actions as a prediction of her future when I'm the one uprooting my entire life to move in with her.
She said she's never once cheated on a partner. It's not that I worry she will! It's just how nonchalant she is towards an affair she had, that's massive she was 50% to blame for it as she knew from the start he was married and continued it for 6 months, with absolutely zero regards for the wife of that man. She didn't value someone else's relationship. It's extremely repulsive.
Your husband sounds like a terrible human being. I don’t know what to tell ya.
Of course. I can see why one wouldn’t take someone back for invading their privacy. I’m yet to get help on the trust issues I have. Things will hopefully be looking a lot brighter
I think you need some counseling because it won’t improve unless you both start changing some things. You’re gonna have to make your relationship of priority. I know your wife can learn to do something at home to make money so she can be there. I do it. And there’s so much now because of the Internet it just takes maybe some skill building like with social media or some thing there’s tons of things.
I’m sorry your life isn’t going the way you want it but on some level it is your life and that’s your child and your wife so I would suggest to try to fix it between the two of you and make it nonnegotiable because I’m sure she’s not any happier than you are. And your child is going to need a lot more care of before he grows up.
He said he is ripped….hahaha
That too…
OP, I am a 23 year old female. He's immature and self-centered. He's a dick. If he doesn't make you feel good about yourself, you need to find someone who does.
Are there any other red flags. Is he pushing you to go further or faster, has he asked to move in yet, is he talking about marriage already?
“I think he's genuinely sweet and very awkward” if he hasnt had much experience when it comes to this and felt like it was the “right” thing to say now that you are exclusive? Maybe even nervous about this. I can imagine it be a red flag if he told you he was moving in next week.
It is how your partner makes you feel that is important and give those words deeper meaning and value. How do you feel around him, you seem to like him.
Again, if there are any other “red flags” it is something different but you have kissed twice and held hand once. Do you feel like he is pushy or creepy, clinging on to you? If not than have a talk with him and take it slow like you intented to do.
I mean you already asked him if he has a girlfriend or boyfriend. Seems like he didn’t answer. Wait for his response
Then on-line in fear forever because women exist. Your choice. Good luck with that.
Something similar happened to me a couple of years ago. My boyfriend chose to to go a concert on my birthday. What made me upset was he offered no apology or backup plan and didn't understand why that would leave me feeling disappointed. If he at least said “Sorry I won't be here for your birthday. We can celebrate when I'm free,” I wouldn't have started a fight over it. He continued to do things like this and didn't really understand why I was disappointed, so I broke up with him. I don't think it's very difficult to understand that you just want him to show that he cares. I hope if you talk things through, you can work it out! Work stress can bring out the worst in people and having to work on your birthday is out of his control, but your feelings are also valid and you should find a compromise (ie: celebrate later when things slow down at work). For now, just make plans with your friends for your birthday and still try to enjoy your day!
It's crazy that the entire first half of your wall of text is just you shitting on him for all his flaws, just so you can justify to yourself what you did. I get that it sucks to realise that you're a shitty person, and tearing down others might make you feel like less of a shitty person, but it doesn't actually reduce your shittyness at all.
Accept what you did, accept that you're a bad person, and maybe try to grow and learn so that next time you're dissatisfied with a relationship you can break it off properly before fucking someone else. And for Gods sake let this poor guy go.
Your local climate (insolation and solar angle) will have a huge bearing on how much sense it makes to go PV. The other factor is comparative: local grid cost per kW-hr. If grid power is cheap, then it's harder to argue for PV.
One unexpected cost when it comes to solar for the home is replacement of the deep-cycle batteries used, which have a lifespan of 5-6 years. They aren't cheap. If you're unlucky enough to get saddled with discounted/used batteries (ones with only a couple of years left in them), the cost (and the hassle of more frequent replacement) piles up.
Solar makes clearer sense when the battery/cap is properly integrated and small in wattage: standalone PV streetlights and security/area lights, or when there is practically no battery/cap involved (standalone PV roof ventilators, etc.) –this where I won over a partner who was on the fence: it was the convenience of not having to physically switch on the outdoor lights at night, and then showing that the 25,000hr lifecycle of the lights meant money saved (cost of the unit over lifecycle vs. grid cost for the same total LED wattage).