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Date: December 11, 2022
Just to keep your bases covered, I would quietly violate his privacy as long as this is an ongoing problem; it’s a sketchy thing, sure, but my wife and I both do this to each other when something doesn’t feel right. It’s one of those weird unspoken agreements for us, and while it’s definitely not cool to do it has settled a lot of misaligned perceptions for us and somehow strengthened the relationship. I am aware we are an exception, and that most people are violated/pissed by this behavior.
As far as tolerating the behavior goes and seeing if it goes away, well, I would only advise that if you can stomach it. If you’re spiraling through negative emotions, losing grip on yourself and your reality, definitely go ahead and do yourself a favor and ask to take a break or break it off entirely; if you’re doing fine and just lonely in the meantime, maybe wait it out a bit longer and hope he comes back to reason, but hold him accountable for being a turd.
If he is doing sneaky stuff, you can also consider the option of using the “relationship” to your advantage- I assume you live! together based on age and other details, so why not politely let him pay his half of the bills while you finish up school and dip out when you’re done; it’s acceptable to meet toxic with toxic, but really only if you think the relationship is dead. Obviously might not feel great to do, but at least you’ll stay comfortably warm and fed for a few more months.
At the end of the day, you’re the only person you’re stuck with until the end; do what’s right by you, and if a person is truly wanting to be part of your life, they’ll be on board with that direction (or at least be understanding when you go off on a different one)
I really hate to say this, you can take the person out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of a person. Even if you move to a nice house his (and by extension your) habits will quickly see it degrade. There isn't advice that's really going to help you get through to him, he's decided how he wants to on-line. If you want to change you'll probably have to leave him behind.
I grew up in a house like you described and it took decades to break that mentality. Even then I still have three cars that don't run in my driveway and my house isn't as clean and well maintained as it should be. I've learned to shrug off junk cars as my “hobby”, but really it's deeper than that. It's a perversion of consumerism, in my twisted mind I can say “I have three cars, that's three cars more than anyone else has, I'm safe, I'm secure, I'm successful” but it's a suspension of disbelief that gets me there. The junk cars, just like horder hordes, represent worth or value that just simply isn't there.
Also, your age gap. You are wasting your youth on a man who isn't now, nor will he ever be, able to meet your dreams and expectations. Don't settle for someone who is very vocally against the life you want to have, especially not at 23.