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Date: October 16, 2022
OP – I have so many thought about this.
First is that the house will need to be sold in the divorce and proceeds split 50/50. Or one of you can buy the other out. Basically this means if you for example paid 300k for the house. You have 250k left on the mortgage. The house is now worth 400k one of you would have to pay the other half of the difference between what is owed on the mortgage and what the house is now worth. So 1/2 of 150k. 75k. Know that up front.
Right now because he is not working he could ask for alimony and likely get it. I know that’s not fair in your particular case. But that is the way the system works. It was designed to help someone who is the homemaker/SAH parent be able to have enough to start their lives over and get a job.
Your best option here may be to sell the house and move into your own place apart from him. Let him go live with mommy and daddy or a friend or borrow money to get his own place while you file for divorce.
If I were you I would consider giving him one more opportunity to get a job. Tell him you are leaving him if he does not have a job and begin contributing financially. Give him a timeline. Like 3 mos or something. But you may be past the point of wanting to stay married to him. Which I wouldn’t blame you at all.
Suggest you call a lawyer and tell them the situation. They should able to tell you what you can expect in the divorce in terms of division of assets and alimony.
If you honestly feel bad about it, then just stop. In this case, you're only thinking about telling your husband about this to get everything off your chest. That's selfish. You're making him feel bad for no reason, or maybe so you guys can wallow together. Just fucking stop doing what you're doing.
The baby isn’t even due for 6 months and she’s already telling you who you can’t have around it. Maybe it’s pregnancy hormones, but it is crazy. Tell her now that WHEN the baby is born, you will go to court to determine paternity and how much child support you have to pay and how you will share custody and visitation. If she wants to try to set limits on who you can have around the baby, you can do the same, such as no live! in boyfriends, etc. Some courts allow that, some don’t. But if you want to be in the child’s life, the court has to set a schedule when you can see it. Otherwise it’s just at her whim, and she sound vindictive and will keep it from you.
Let's say it's not about sleeping with more women, this guy ego got hurt because he couldn't fuck more women. He values high body count over a functioning relationship with OP. I would not trade any amount of random hookups for my gf.
Him struggling with the fact that you had an abortion is fine. People have different opinions about abortion and its morality. And abortion is a good topic to be on the same page as your spouse. HOWEVER the reason for why he’s upset about your abortion is in no way okay. It sounds like he’s more upset about you getting pregnant in the past that about the morality of having an abortion.
Wouldn't you find it wierd that a person of opposite gender after 3 – 3.5 years of small talk and constant study related exchanges suddenly asked you to “hang out”? In my head that sounds like a do you want to go out with me. In which case a yes could mean a misunderstood date and a “no” could mean.. ew this mfker was into me this whole time, and if there is such confusion, I fear of losing whatever formal relationship we have. All this could happen just cus I was bored.
Sorry to hear but I'd say you dodged a bullet there. If your SO who you were going to marry breaks off this fast, without talking or giving any kind of reason, over some 'friend', there wasn't much love involved on her side. it sounds very much like she just waited for a chance to jump boat and make it your 'fault'.