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Cornelio, 32 y.o.
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Date: October 26, 2022
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Literally anyone you are friends with on Facebook being connected in any way to someone can lead to them being suggested
Juepp.. i know the algorithms are weiiiird… Like i said not reading to much into it. But it has a weird pattern to it
she senses you wising up that she’s sabotaging you to keep you with her, so she’s pulling out all the stops. she’s a bit scary
Then you’re out of luck. You have to get out of the house and meet people, to have relationships of any kind except live friends or pen pals. And if you don’t think dating apps will work to find you dates, then you have to leave the house to meet the people in the first place before you can think about asking them on dates.
Wow you’re a dope person for that
Your dad questioned the very core of your husband (telling someone they are not good enough). Even if he is a man child and not pulling (or didn't pull) weight as dad, your father destroyed his ego. Smacking someone's ego and continue to bully him is not going to be good for family. From the sounds of it you are indirectly enabling your dad's behavior and it is not good for your marriage.
Did you defend your husband? If not then what are you doing? He's your husband and y'all are an immediate family now. It used to be your parents ( and siblings?) that was your immediate family at one point in time, now you're married and have kids. Not saying you ditch your family, I'm saying your husband and kids come first before anyone else, even your parents and other family. What if it was one of your in-laws saying you weren't good enough for your husband? You'd hope he'd defend you. And that's really shitty just going along with what your Dad wants. Of course he wants to see the grandkids, but not your hubby. And he's getting away with saying your husband doesn't deserve you. Do you ever wonder how hurt you would be if you were in his shoes?
I second this motion
Why didn’t you message your aunt?
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Umm… how old is your mattress? Only rational reason to replace one is if it is physically worn out. Not emotionally. Mattresses, last I checked, don’t have emotions.
Sounds like he is against abortion but love you, was sure about getting married(despite being only 4 months) but during the night he started to think about the abortion and he probably stayed awake thinking about it, changing his mind, either this or he is insane
I knew John McAfee wasn’t really dead ?
Why would we throw away a best friend just because they didn't wanna sleep with you? Why would this person not being into you mean no one would ever be into you ever?
See how it goes? I don’t personally think you need to dramatically and preemptively break up. Support her dream and see how you both feel in a month
Get back to the mat if BJJ is something you enjoy. Sounds like your wife is setting some healthy boundaries by going to another gym, so you can both enjoy this hobby without it causing any conflict in your relationship.
It's always naked getting back into the groove after a break, but you just need to take it one class at a time!
I hope you and your wife are able to enjoy and grow with BJJ separate, but together!
Remind yourself that you have your priorities right. Your boss couldn’t care less how you do in school. In your shoes I would look for another job. If you can afford to quit now then do that. Otherwise look for something else and quit as soon as you find something In the meantime remind yourself that study is your priority and they need to look for other options to keep the store functioning.
Well I understand being hurt by her saying that, as it may come off as discarding of your relationship. If anyone mistook my gf as my wife, I’d be gleeful and tell her you heard that wifey, and she would probably do the same. The fact that she wanted to correct her friend could definitely be a tell of underlying issues.
One of those issues could very well be that you are already married and she wants to make it clear that fixing that should be top priority, as your non-existing marital status may have been bothering her.
Regardless, nothing warrants the reaction you had. There should should be several psychological barriers that prevents a person to assault the partner. You managed to breach all of them. It will take a long time to rebuild this trust, and nothing you can do can speed up that process.
I think it’d be a very good sign that you went to therapy to get to the bottom of this anger and how to manage it. Then you need to respect whatever course of action your wife want to take.
Begging, pleading, spoiling her, wallow in self-pity, none of these will help. You have apologized. Now you must try to return to normalcy, and give your wife the space she wants.
Lastly, ask your wife if you may apologize to Cindy for scaring her. Don’t reach out to mutual friends without her consent, as it will seem like your trying build sympathy. If you wanna talk to somebody, go to a therapist.
Ok well it is good that he is being emotionally mature, empathetic, and communicating respectfully.
Weight loss and getting fit is a long process. My follow up question to him would be logistical. He has to understand that even if you are willing to put a concerted effort into diet and exercise, these things don’t happen overnight, and often come with challenges and emotional difficulties. What’s he gonna do if you slip up? Is he gonna be the food/gym police? How are you gonna feel emotionally, knowing you’re doing it because he isn’t attracted to you? Some people might become resentful about that.
On the other hand, maybe this could be the push you need to change your lifestyle in a war that will make you happier with or without him in your life.
You really need to be honest with her. She may leave you but there's no sense in trying to hide something like this in a healthy relationship.
Worst case scenario, you take this as a learning moment that you don't lie to your partner.
He's probably starting fights with you because you have aged out of her preferred range. He'll be onto the next naive teenager. Get out now!
I'd tell them to mind their business. They're calling him toxic for being motivated to go to the gym. Your friends are the problem.
Nah it’s like that on my end too. Just thought it was funny so I agreed to it Lmao
Ummm, he said that Linda is “dumb and he can always beat her TOO”. So he’s calling OP dumb, and that he can tell what sign she’s going to flash or whatever cuz he’s “not dumb”.
Totally agree with this
Anyone can get married, not everyone can become a doctor. I got my med school graduation next month, wouldn't want to miss it for the world and your family is wrong to make you miss yours. Congrats!
But he was a child too and didn’t know any better, and he told me that it started by her showing him a video of people kissing.
exactly, her not considering abortion for herself doesn't immediately make her pro-life
DEE YOU LOOK LIKE A BIRD
Seems like something is missing here.
We’re you invited?
Are you somehow shady?
I miss this. I think we have a long while to go. I think I’m used to dominant guys is all this is new for me… I just suck at saying what I like having done and how so I guess I need to work on communicating that more ironically
None of the emotions you are talking about are related to her being trans. Feels like you're only adding in that detail for extra divisiveness..? Literally nothing about this post would change if you left out that detail. Especially talking about her medical history is fucked up. YTA for all that.
It's understandable you are hurt but you were not a couple, he did not cheat.
If I find out that a person that I was dating, would lie to me about something like that I don’t wanna date them anymore. You gotta think about the future and the persons character. They’re willing to lie to you that’s all you need to know.
Your financial situation has changed, so now you need to sit down and have a full conversation about how you share costs and chores.
She moved in with you already
Projection at it's finest. What's your partner doing with someone a decade younger then her?!
He is also the one who does most of cooking in our relationship because his love language is acts of service. He would never keep a tab. I guess it’s naked to understand that this is not a regular guy in his 30. He’s really mature and has done a lot of work on himself. Anyway, I wasn’t asking if moving in was a good idea. I was hoping for advice on how to go about splitting the bills.
Agreed
Don't be surprised when the “let's end the break” conversation happens and he slept with someone else or more than one.
She provided information that he uses violence and explodes. That's in her post. The recommendation for relationship counseling is inappropriate.
The break is ongoing, she says she will love me how she did once she isn't stressed at home, She lives out of town but we have been talking about going to the city once her exams are finished for a few nights then go back to mine, she has been telling me stuff like she can't wait to visit ect…
What!?! Why don't they thank her and stay close friends?
I mean room and board? All you can eat once a day in a secure room? With armed guards, you don't have to pay for?
Meeting rich and powerful politicians and celebrities on some mysterious islands?
I dont get why she is so rich and lonely, man.
You’re missing the whole fucking point. If its gotten to that point its too late. LEAVE. You keep trying to do mental gymnastics to defend a negative action. Both are wrong, BOTH.