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1. For example: It is very clear that your partner has no interest in having sex with you or working on your sex life.

   She finds penetrative sex painful and has tried at least one treatment (this is usually pelvic floor muscle exercises, which sometimes require insertion).

   She's allowed to decide she doesn't want penetrative sex and the therapy causes her a lot of discomfort. I wouldn't describe that as “checking out”.

   This quote in particular make me wonder if he's nagging her into having sex she doesn't want, which is coercion.

   When we do anything, there's no desire there. We’d just end up rubbing against each other but it felt like she did not want to be there.

   Constantly pestering someone to do sexual things for them when they're not in the mood is going to have a negative impact on the relationship. I think OP needs to take the “no toenail painting” as her Final Answer.

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