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CreamyExotica, 27 y.o.
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Date: October 17, 2022
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In his own home, he can wear shorts, if that makes him feel comfortable. You said that you are wearing a robe even when it's 70°. In my opinion, you are being unreasonable. Pick your battles. 69° isn't going to make that much of a difference in your energy bill, but confronting him about what he wears at home, asking him to buy things, or change his living habits to accommodate you could make for a tense living situation.
If it really bothers you, go for it, but understand that you can't unopen that can of worms.
My question is how would you feel if he starts commenting on what you wear around the house?
Hm, I agree with you OP – to me those reasons also read as excuses. And although I don't have a crystal ball, I can't help but think the real reason, the one all the excuses are masking, is that he simply doesn't want to online with you. Yeah, I do mean that not wanting to is the reason – no further practical or pragmatic explanation needed. Like when I tell my friend i can't see her for drinks bc I don't have the time, but the truth I just don't feel like spending time together this weekend, if you catch my drift? Not wanting to IS the reason.
And, sadly, that is a reason that it's gonna be naked to resolve with a compromise, because well. You either live! together or not. And he prefers not to.
I agree this is stagnating the relationship. I think you should sit him down and tell him what you wrote here. It's very eloquent! Tell him you are afraid the relationship is stagnant, worried about other milestones not happening, that 6 years is really long and for you, it's Time and if it's not Time for him, when will it be? Will it ever happen? Some people don't want to on-line with their SO, ever. Some relationships thrive without cohabitating. I'm not saying that's what he wants, or something you need to agree to, but it's worth asking him bluntly iMO.
I'm also kind of surprised at how little time you two spend together. I understand this is because of practical reasons, but still… I kinda lowkey get him? You two may be together for many years, but intensity-wise, you see each other relatively rarely. It's a big jump to on-line together. Maybe that's also the issue for him – that it feels too abrupt a change due to the timeline (twice a week) even though to you it seems appropriate due to a different type of timeline you are looking at (6 years).
You cheated on your bf.
What if you found out he cheated on you and never planned to tell you?
He deserves to know. Do the right thing, and accept whatever consequences come with them. You deserve them.
Most definitely tell the dude's wife.
You should imagine what 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months and 3 years would look like in either direction (divorce or stay) and decide from there. Your relationship is going to show those feelings regardless of your acting like it's all good. Good luck man, you got fucked without getting…