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Dakota-Jenkins Public Chat Channel
Date: October 17, 2022
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Enjoying travel is great. I love to travel. I have been to all manner of places in my life (some less welcome than others, but that's the base brat life, I guess). But I will say.. for someone who's in a stable relationship, someone who -doesn't- travel or have that wanderlust the way you do… 3 weeks is a fuckin' long time. Will you have phone connection and wifi? Are you really really sure about that? Will you have the time and energy to reach out to your partner after a long day of hiking through the andes or the amazon jungle? What if something really horrible happens, and you lose your phone or other means of communication?
As much as I say that travel and seeing other places/other people is a great idea, I can't help but empathize with your partner. This is something you need to emphasize that they -need- to talk to you about. If they have concerns, you need to listen to those concerns and come up with back-up-plans to your back-up-plans in order to make this a thing they can get on board with, because their concerns (Even if they only know how to phrase it as 'a strain') are pretty valid.
Leaving to another country that neither of you know well, for an extended amount of time… That's really stressful. Maybe you don't quite grasp how stressful because travel has always been a big priority or goal for you, but it's utterly terrifying for a lot of people. Talk to your person. More importantly, LISTEN to your person. If that conversation needs to be broken up into bits and pieces because 'hey, we're getting emotional here, lets put this on pause for an hour while I go take a long shower, or you go for a walk, and we can come back to it more composed', then so be it. But this isn't gonna end well unless you can both feel heard, and understood, and like you've said your piece.
I’m sure he’s a lovely guy and I’m not going to be a typical Redditor that tells you to dump him but while he is financially unstable DO NOT let him move in with you (and he’s definitely going to push for it when his money runs out)
Stick to your guns, he knows how to solve his problems but he wants you to do it for him