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Dan & Dasha, 25 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Dan & Dasha
Date: October 4, 2022
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Wtf are these comments? It's just insane to me.
First off, let's cover your mistake, since that's what you want. Your mistake was not thinking like her, and not knowing how this would affect her. But given that you can't read minds, and as you said, you guys haven't talked about it previously, it's not fair to expect you to know about it beforehand. To you, and to most men, liking pics is not a horrible act of infidelity. You should never dp it if it's established that it's beyond a line, but that wasn't the case here.
How to solve: sit down and talk to her. Tell her that you now understand what it means for her, but that she also needs to understand how little it means from you. Show her that you had no negative intent, and for her to react like you had, doesn't help either of you. Admit your mistake, but without admitting to a crime you didn't commit. Yes, you liked a few pictures. You did that. You're sorry about how that made her feel. But you did not say that they were prettierl, you did not insult her, that is all in her head and unfair to blame you for. Stick up for yourself.
How come no one talks about how manipulative and controlling the gf sounds? Right after she learns his username, she STALKS YEARS of his profile. That is not ok. That is so much worse than having liked 5 pics in 2 years (which is an extremely low number, mind you). To me, it seems like she is dumping all the burdens of her insecurities onto you. While a good bf would supporter her, it's not fair of her to abuse you like that.
TL:DR; bf made a small mistake which gf has completely overreacted to, which isn't fair. On top of that, her stalking and manipulation should be the main discussion here, not 5 pics in 2 years.
I'd be happy to debate whether or not it's ok for guys to like pics online, as it seems guys and girls have very different opinions on this. I've read a lot of female perspectives here, and could provide a male one. The premise is of course that no prior agreement/talk has been made.
I read someone make the analogy of having the 5 women present, as well as my gf. Would I tell them they're pretty, in front of her? If I told them, and not my gf, that would imply that I thought they were prettier than her, which is bad. But that isn't the case if I would have told all of them, including my gf, that they're pretty. But yeah, that's a stretch.
More importantly, a woman is much much more than her looks. Yet, many guys get accused of preferring the women whose pics they liked, just based on looks. That's unfair, demeaning and in the gfs case, self-objectifying.
I do realize that given the rest of the comment section, I might break the echo of a chamber. Good. I invite you to counter my arguments, even if it's just in your head. It's a good exercise and will make you more steady in your path. I don't expect to change any mind other than my own, but I'm gonna need your help for that.
I thought swinging was a couple having sex with another couple.
Oh yeah. OP definitely has reason to feel slighted. It's sucky as hell. I agree with everything you said, I just don't think, from the picture OP painted, that the friend is a hateful person.
This girl isn’t worth it, but you can have sex without getting naked. Have fun! Enjoy your body! Find a partner who can meet you where you are at.
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Not his first time, I’d bet $20.
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Good catch… I feel they messed the grammar up on that sentence purposely to hide it
I don't think we have evidence of whether God would or would not go clubbing but we do know that Jesus was a fan of everyone having plenty of wine.
She’s gross and I wouldn’t waste it on her again. Don’t be insecure just find better women, she’s the problem not you.
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They and Ross and Rachel were at least trying and failing from the start, but Downton Abbey and the others…
You're on the road to rape. I'd send him a text telling him he didn't respect my boundaries and I didn't want to see him anymore. Or just ghost him, except it seems like he knows where you online.
Therapy. Either couples or just for you to work through this.
Op, it really sounds like you want the wedding. The romance of a ceremony with all your friends and family there watching you both commit to a life together.
He doesn’t care.
He may care about you. But he doesn’t care about the same things you do.
Are you sure you’re on the same page about the future? Do you really not want children? I mean you’ve talked with him about not being married but you want the ceremony. You want the big party. In your heart of heart is that all you truly want is a big party celebrating y’all being together in a commitment ceremony to each other. Then do that.
But be sure y’all are on the same page. Really, you need to talk about y’all’s future.
I’m talking vacations. Retirement. What about if one of you has a life threatening injury? Do you trust each other to know what to do for the other person? What about dnd of life stuff?
You’re young. Start thinking about this now before you commit to a person for life. And what about a prenup that protects you both or a contract that has the same effect so if one if you does die, the other is protected. Especially him vs your family.
It’s ok to stand up to your family for what you want.
It is best to be absolutely sure about a person before you commit to them.
Leave him. How many times does he need to choose her before you understand that he will always choose her. Unless he is willing to give up gaming completely (not just her or the friend group, literally gaming itself) It’s time for you to go.
She’s clearly not as “liberal” as she thought she was. Honestly if she can’t accept the person you are and is so ashamed of you, why date her.
My kids are both teenagers & I'm still C H O N K, Lol
The thing is: you can't do or say ANYTHING that will suddenly make him “understand” or prevent him from screaming. There is no magic formulation of perfect words that will make him change.
He is 42 years old. He is a grown ass man who married a very very very young adult who had just reached drinking age. If he can't or wont stop screaming and calling you stupid bitch for talking to your only living parent who clearly loves you (and shows his love with his ACTIONS) then there is NOTHING you can do or say that will make him act differently.
He chooses to behave like that. And you also have a choice. You can choose to “work on your marriage” which basically means: putting up with being screamed at, insulted and isolated and trying to keep the peace by never voicing any concerns or complaints. That is your choice.
I would make a very different choice with the only life I have here on earth.
Your marriage will only work if your old ass husband repents and changes his abusive behaviour for GOOD. When he begins actually LOVING you with his ACTIONS.
Your boyfriend sounds controlling.
Now, let's see. You didn't unblock him. Your boyfriend is the only other person with access to your facebook, correct? If so, then what is the logical answer here….?
How recently did she get them?
If she just got them then maybe they need more time to settle/heal for a more natural look but then again, it really just depends on what she was going for. If it looks unnatural then a gentle conversation about the procedure would save you from having to lie further. You can’t keep putting this off.
I would check up with them and ask. Say that you have the time/ availability talk. If I brought something up to a close friend and they said they needed a minute but did not communicate how long that was, I would also be confused. When I need a break from a conversation I set up a time to come back to it to get ride of the stress of not knowing.
I mean I'm sure most of the guys that got screwed into raising someone elses kid thought the person they were with would never do them like that.
Having that happen is a nightmare. Especially because even if you prove the kid isnt yours some places will still ruin you financially over it. So basically as a guy you can get lied to and cheated on then have to pay for the child of the man that fucked your wife lol. That's scary.
I think they should be mandatory. Take out the guess work and then no one is offended.
Listen up children. I know we all grow up under different circumstances, so you may not have had someone tell you this, but under no circumstances is this type of behavior okay, you're worth more than this. Don't waste your time with people who would treat you this way.
There's nearly 8 billion people in the world. Surely you can find someone better than this?
Quit acting like a door mat and leave this piece of shit.
It’s the right thing to do, and it’s probably what I need to do. You’re right, I just don’t know how to say it or even bring it up
This hurts to read because a break up is not what I want, but will have to happen if we can’t solve the problems and that weighs so naked on me. It was necessary to read though
The number of partners you have Michel expertise
What does this mean?
Not allow this? Allow? He doesn’t allow or not allow you to do anything. He’s not your dad.
He has three choices. 1) deal with separate bedrooms and be grateful you’re not dumping him. This is disgusting. 2) get his priorities straight, fix his teeth, and be grateful you haven’t dumped him. 3) dump you and keep making poor choices.
Notice that “forcing his gf to suffer because he’s selfish, lacks basic hygiene skills, and makes shitty financial choices” isn’t an option.
a term she never established in the first place.
A term he never stated in the first place.
Fixed it for you.
It was never even discussed how they were going to go about this. He never said “as soon as you agree, I'm signing up for dating apps”.
She got on board with the idea and instead of working together to start the process, he dove in feet first.
All he wanted was a “yes” from his wife and then she never entered his mind.
The fact you keep defending this is gross.
You are forgetting that this is about sex and consent can be withdrawn at any point, and he's getting mad about it. He's an asshole. Stop defending sexually entitled assholes.
Yeah, that makes sense; the ole “I downloaded Tinder by mistake because I left my phone open and clicked on things.”
First, he'd have to accidently click the app store. Then he'd have to accidently click search. Then he'd have to accidently click T. Accidently click I. Accidently click N…you get it. What a crazy accidental sequence of events.
Then he'd have to click the download button. If you're not getting it at this point, he's completely full of shit. He got hacked? Ah yes, a hacker who wants to assist you in meeting people. As hackers tend to do.
So advice? Leave. You're second guessing yourself because you know you already have trust issues. You certainly need to address that. But here? He literally can't be trusted. Good luck.
Talk to her. Basically what is said in this post. However her level of maturity is concerning.
Happily married for 9 years with 2 kids. ?
What you are doing is not Compromise. It's being controlling. You are the problem. The end.
Sorry, but he didn't change his mind. He kept delaying it to keep you around. Now he's saying 5-10 years because he knows it'll be too late by then.
It seems like his father enables him, and he has absolutely no reason to make any effort, because he's been gifted the opportunity to make money doing absolutely nothing while he lounges around.
He assured you he'd start apply for jobs when his 1 year with his dad is up? First, no shot. While experiencing a “no show” job after he made no effort to gain employment, he's now going to “wake up” and start making an effort? Also, why would he wait until it's over? He should logically be working to line up a job to prevent a gap in employment. Realistically, he's just trying to get you off his back for the next six months.
What's there to be patient about? All he does is complain and find excuses not to work. This isn't a mental health issue. This is him just not caring. Good luck.
Blocking is very immature. It's also a power move to put you on the defensive. This way, the focus turns to will he unblock me vs what he did was wrong. I would not waste my time on guys like this. He will do this again.
It is the owner of the clothes’ responsibility to make sure their pockets are empty when clothes are thrown wherever to be washed. The person doing the laundry shouldn’t have to be responsible for another person’s belongings in the pockets and do more work to check every pocket. Make him do his own laundry if he doesn’t like it.
Not only would you feel justified but the police might also. Cause it's a crime.
For what it's worth, all of you commenting have made me literally feel like a pile of garbage for having feelings. I decided the best route to move forward was to vent online prior to even approaching either of them. I know I was being overly sensitive. I'm prone to that. I knew it was in my best interest to chill. But when you're in the heart of a stressful and overwhelming situation, it's not easy to be calm and rational. At least for me anyways.
I know, I got upset with the internet. Shocking. Now I regret asking for help. For the few people that showed me kindness, thank you. This was clearly a mistake. Thanks for nothing Reddit.
Karma, I hope it bites both of you naked.
This is interesting! I’ve got really blurry vision but an eye exam shows them in perfect health, I’m gonna get this checked!
His niceness does not negate the clear disrespect of him prioritizing his phone over you. Prioritize yourself and do not plan another date with this man as this behavior will not get better.
If threatening to spit in someone's drink is this guy's way of flirting I don't think you have to worry lmao
Sounds like you are incompatible. Why did you marry?
Your father is a c! He can go and get f**d!
If you need your father’s financial support, just lie. A person like your father doesn’t deserve the respect of truthfulness.
If you’re financially independent just walk. Conditional love is just hate with a pretty bow. If your father will so readily withdraw love and support he simply does not love you, he just thinks he owns you. You were brought up to think that being shunned would be the end of the world. It’s not. It’s just a threat they have held over you all your life.
If you can be with your left-leaning, atheist boyfriend you’ll never be able to go back to living the life your father had mapped out for you. You’ve already left that life behind. Your father’s actions have just formalised the arrangement.
Whatever you do, don’t accidentally fall pregnant. If you have to go back to your family they’ll make your life hell.
Chin up. Walk. Never look back.
If you like her, don’t let it bother you. It happened BYR (before your relationship).
People had lives before you arrived on the scene.
I would just keep it to myself, and if either one ever mention it, just say you already know.
Idk which of you is more unwell
I agree, Thank you!
You did the right thing. If you can’t expect loyalty from someone who calls himself your boyfriend and then doesn’t act like one, the relationship is doomed. And Ben doomed it. He will eventually find out that the type of people he chose to associate with are not his friends, but selfish little insecure twits who put their wants above his happiness. Ten to One if he gets together with the girl who was trying to sabotage your relationship, she’ll dump him when she finds someone else who is taken to crush on. And that’s what he deserves.
Probably try asking her to hangout first and see how that goes. The last thing you want to do is make her uncomfortable. If she dodges you you know where you stand. If she says yes you have a shot, that doesn’t mean shoot. Build a bond before a title. Be her friend first, with no ulterior motive, and go from there.