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Date: October 15, 2022
That story is what immediately came to mind as well.
I guess it kind of depends on where you fish.
So you've been together 2 years and he's been consistently like this?
Sweets, why are you letting this dude move in?
You will absolutely end up paying for everything like you do now.
He's 27. If he hasn't figured himself out by now, he won't. And the gaslighting you is deplorable. He's saying you're making him feel bad, when the reality is he doesn't want to have to “foot the bill”, he knows he's got a good thing going and is emotionally manipulating you into doing it.
He literally has no financial responsibilities, yet can't save. You have all the financial responsibilities, yet you've managed a few grand in the midst of all that.
I would have a serious think about whether you're ready to essentially take responsibility for everything, because it won't get better. There's an expectation now because you've been supporting him for this long, changing it will cause more arguments, not changing it will cause your resentment to grow.
If you're still keen, sit down and work out a budget and your expectations on what he MUST contribute. If he doesn't like it, you have your answer. And don't let him wiggle out of it, upfront payments only.