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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Date: February 10, 2023
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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She has no side. It's a condition for him to reconcile. She's lucky he didn't boot her to the curb. She needs to suck it up or leave him so he can online in peace.
Why does it matter if he regrets it? He did it. He purposefully HIT and abused his partner. And admitted it to multiple people. Why are you considering this?
I’ve been in many a dark place in my life. In my personal life, in my professional life, and in my mind. Never have I resorted to abusing a partner??? Come on. Here is the largest red flag, signalling you to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction of your (hopefully) ex-bf.
You may want to consider healing more from your last relationship before trying to get into a new one. You describe the fact that you aren't able to read your new bf because the 'normal' is probably *actually* normal behavior vs the extremes from your last relationship. You put yourself at risk of getting back into a new toxic relationship where you push, push, push for any kind of reaction.
It would be extremely difficult to regulate your reactions unless you've worked on healing.
If you do divorce her, just know that her Dad WILL be around your kids. She'll use him as support. And he will be a racist tw@t around them.
I agree, I think you're the reasonable one here. It sounds like you agreed on her being the breadwinner when you first get back to the US, and that she was excited about this job, and now is freaking out at the last minute. And it's probably scary to jump back into the workplace when you've been out of it a few years, but that's a her problem.
It's concerning that she now seems to remember your conversation completely differently. Does she do this often, or only this one time?
So she's not cutting ties because she got too close while in a relationship with you but because it's not working out between them? Both are messed up, but wtf.
Well it won't work out because he is against marriage…and you don't want to go through life feeling like you missed out on something very special if you stay with him.
If he says he agrees and it’s good, that’s that. Lol you’ve asked for his input and you have to take him at his word. If you get to the trip and he’s having a bad time he really has no one to blame. Invite him into the process as much as possible but you can’t force him to be excited about the details.
I don’t know. My parents online really close to a big airport and I’ve had plenty of people ask if they can stay there or get picked up simply because they know our proximity. I’ve literally picked up my friend’s brother’s girlfriend (who I never met before) and let her hang at my parents house for a layover.
That is something that I hadn’t really considered, thank you for the input.
You mean that grown adult man married to the woman you can’t stand?
Just leave.
All relationship questions become a question of finance
I would understand his frustration if this were a regular occurrence, but if this is the first time then he's over reacting. Maybe he just doesn't know how to handle rejection since he's never been in that position. I think this is something you might easily talk out.
Your heat of the moment instinct was right. And it never ceases to amaze me how people who gaslight others constantly use that concept by telling the other person “You're gaslighting me!”
Bringing a third person into a relationship is the beginning of the end of that relationship. So if you're hellbent on undermining your situation at least do it with a stranger. Because when it ends, and it will, you'll still want to have some friends to console you (and f*cking friends ruins friendships).
I think it might be a good time to see if you can do a few sessions with him, maybe with his therapist or another one, and see if you and figure out what makes him feel seen(but not a burden)? It might be that he feels he is putting all the effort in for something that is just imperceptible to you, and the opportunity to figure that stuff out would probably be good for both of you?
I know when I get really withdrawn in that way, it's because I feel completely isolated. Like the people in my life don't reach out, invite me, message me, send me stupid jokes, whatever. And part of the black whole cycle is that, because I perceive that I'm not welcome, I don't reach out, because I feel like I'm already a burden. But since I'm so distant regularly, it doesn't occur to people to message/invite/chat, because they assume I'm busy or wouldn't be interested. So I withdraw more.
I don't mean to say couples therapy because you are doing anything wrong. I mean more so that you guys can both figure out how to hear each other.