66 thoughts on “DaniraFlores online webcams for YOU!”
Why now? I do have to adress that I think it's weird to drop a bomb like that but thn not specify how they cheated only because they don't want to get involved. Well he already got involved and he could've told you before unless someone made him not to tell you.
Also why did they breakup? The reason for the breakup could give you sole guide if the dude is trustworthy or not.
However when there's a possibility like that you should really consider talking to your gf and asking her about it. There's no other way. Try to be calm and think of the way you ask her.
If you can you could also DM this dude but idk if it's worth it.
I have/had one good female friend at the time. I didn't find her attractive. She was great/fun to be around. The rest of the girls I've had as friends were never a best friend or anything cause I'd ever want to smash or have smashed.
So in my opinion, men can't have too many best female friends cause most of us want to do our thing with em. Just being honest.
Being uncomfortable with something is not the same as trying to control her. Nowhere did he say he was gonna make her stop, nor did I suggest he do that.
This whole subreddit is depressing tbh. Just so many young girls who literally will let men treat them like less than trash and just kind of accept it. The bar for men is apparently in hell.
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My girlfriend (21) is skipping my college graduation for a Taylor Swift concert
About three days ago my girlfriend (of two years) got the confirmation she purchased Taylor Swift tickets for herself and 5 friends. She bought the tickets unaware of what day my graduation was. We found out together the concert and my graduation were on the same day in May of 2023. Which is 5 months away. Without hesitation she stated she won’t be selling her ticket as the concert is a “Once in a lifetime opportunity” and “Don’t make me sad since the concert is something i’m really excited to go too” I explained how my graduation is a once in a lifetime experience and I would like her to attend as their will be another opportunity for a Taylor Swift concert. She denied and said she understands how I may feel, but I do but understand how important the concert is to her. I’ve been working towards graduating for 5 years and it feels strange how a celebrity is a priority over something important in my life. This is my first time posting. i’m looking for some advice
I am very similar to you and have the same worries. For me I’ve expressed how worried I get and would like check ins. Something that helps me is remembering that I cannot control any situation. If something is going happen there is nothing I can do to change that. I can support, love, and care more than anything in the world but I cannot make someone do anything. If you’ve expressed your concern and he brushes you off or chooses not to listen, there is not much you can do. I always do self care when my partner is out. I read a book, do a face mask, put on a nice show, or journal. It can be hot at first but over time it does get easier. I’m not sure how to answer if you should “lay down as a rule” because if he’s not listening now, what will make him listen? What does laying down the rule look like? Feel like? You could take an internal look and see is it worth doing or is there a compromise?
You 100% full stop need to stay out of their marriage. Don't take sides or offer advice, they have been doing this weird dance forever and they need to handle their own lives. Keep your head down and get out of there as quickly as possible. I'm so sorry, this sounds awful. Hide.
If you are an engineer, then you plan things out and look at all the possibilities, yes? And if you really pencil out the money you need to make, etc., then you won't be as stressed out because you'll be making an informed decision. You may do the homework, look for a job, and realize it won't work right now. Fine! Maybe later. But don't decide not to out of an amorphous 'I dunno'.
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I highly doubt OP is withholding the fact he autonomously promised to legally protect her financial interests when setting this requirement. Why would he when there’s a long history of men getting this arrangement for absolutely nothing?
Asking your partner to do something you wouldn’t be willing to do yourself shows you don’t respect them, their feelings, and their needs as being equal to your own, unless they have expressed that their wants and needs are different than yours. And I would extend that logic to someone asking their partner to be the sole earner so they can be a SAHP.
This sounds like classic vaginismus, and if you go to your doctor, they will be able to help you with graduated dilators. You can even order the graduated dilators yourself from the internet, if you'd rather. They start small, and the idea is that you start getting used to inserting them, until you're comfortable with each size increase. I did it myself, and it worked. It takes patience, and you will want to buy a lot of high quality lube. Even when you yourself get wet, it will always help to add more lube
Even if it’s something that mattered, why does everything turn into a debate? You could have said to Mary, thanks, I wasn’t sure because I never heard of that. Then drop it with Mary so it doesn’t turn into you trying to get the final word in. Later, you research it on your own (like you did). But you skip the part where you imply Mary is wrong because you hadn’t heard of it. There’s no need to say something to make someone feel “less than”.
If it’s NOT something that affects your life or the lives of people close to you, don’t make such a big deal of having to debate if someone is correct or not. Let some things go, who cares if someone says something that may be slightly wrong if it’s some little thing. Don’t embarrass or make them feel pressured to “prove” their statement just so you can be sure it’s ?correct.
Lol you married a 40-year-old cop after a couple of dates and you’re surprised he’s (a) dysfunctional, (b) distant, and (c) not happy about raising a child he didn’t want.
You got the outcome you set yourself up for…
Not sure there’s any advice that will be useful since the best advice involves time travel.
I'm currently in my first trimester of pregnancy, working 2 jobs and the tiredness is so bad it's getting me down at times. I've cried and apologised for being so tired yet my partner has been nothing but understanding and loving and “is there anything I can do to help” not this “if I cheated it would be your fault” bs.
Your husband has communication issues that need working on
That’s disgusting and disrespectful to everyone around her, it’s not even a difficult thing to do! You might want to break up if she considers it a monumental task to be a considerate human being
A lot of this is very common with mothers of young children. Women often lose their identity outside of their family when they have children and it's really horrible.
You two need to work on your dynamic in therapy and by using resources together.
Start with her having the same amount of time to herself, without kids or chores, and a budget to explore hobbies and interests.
Do you say as many positive/complimentary things as teasing things? Twice as many? Start there.
Above all tell her “I hear you. I understand that you feel this way and although I am a different person I understand why you feel this way. I want to fix this. I know it can't all be fixed overnight but I'm committed to fixing this together”
When you do talk about ways to improve things, talk about things each of you can contribute and ways you can work together on it. Your kid is 8, can she go back to school / get some training to reenter the workforce in a good earning spot?
Omg your cat is totally adorable! And love your hair! I had bi pride hair two summers ago, really want to go back to that if I can find a good stylist in my area. Love all the bright colors! 🙂
Do you on-line in NYC? If you do there are plenty of places that she can work at. The problem is she is applying to big businesses and corporations that require SSN…but if she applied in the neighborhood, help wanted signs, Facebook marketplace has ads and many on the internet she would be able to work
Claiming misogynism while displaying misandry, classic. A man experiencing jealousy does not mean he thinks his partner belongs to him. These are completely normal feelings. I wish them the best, but it sounds like he hasn't been able to get over it.
It sounds like you don't belong together. You're having doubts about your relationship and thinking you're “wasting your time” if he doesn't ever propose. I understand wanting to get married, but thinking that end goal is more important than the relationship itself shows that you're not really in love with him. You're in love with the idea of the future you've laid out for yourself, and it just so happens that you're dating him at the moment.
Well, I'd reckon you've gathered saying this with any wording would be creepy to some extent from your five-ish months around her, so the easiest way would be to not. You could try to casualify it and throw in a few platonic nicknames but there will still be that message.
And if someone really want's to spend time with you, they tend to be willing to make time and bend their rules to accommodate you especially if they know they won't have to cancel something else or won't be caught respectively. On the other hand people will try to covertly avoid you by hiding behind schedules and rules as an excuse.
Now there's more to it if they're avoiding you, so don't go in accusing immediately, but I'd argue you should maybe start off by lightly and covertly probing that.
Think of it like breaking a horse. The horse is bucking and thrashing and you have to hold on. Eventually the horse will trot and listen to your commands.
Right now you are in the thick of the bucking. Hang on.
So how many of your husband's friends do you invite over to take hot photos of you for your husband? Dude was just some guy. He's not a pro. These weren't classy photos. Chick got nude with another man and produced porn. There was no class involved. This is not the same as going to an actual professional and having set shots created to make erotica for your spouse. Most people don't find out that their spouse allowed someone to see them that way a good thing. Wife was into it or it would not have happened. IMO she and dude are equally sketchy and both complicit.
This is what it reals like to me. My best friend is ace and I sent him this and he said maybe this person doesn’t realize they are but it reads like it.
Dude, let me be the first person to tell you that you have to use paragraph breaks. Look at that a wall of text. Would you want to read all of that shit? Use some common sense, Jesus.
Yeah sure. This is an older one but very similar to what is happening now. He used to buy Kratom and take it every day in very high doses. (It has an opioid like effect as far as I know, but is not as strong as other (illegal) opioids). He also takes meds and the two together have made him very unresponsive and whenever he went a day without he was very easily annoyed and even had some pain. I told him its okay that he wants to take it every now and then ( like once a week) but not on a regular basis. He agreed that it went a little out of control and was very expensive too and – to my information – quit it completly and only kept some leftover Kratom in a drawer, that he didn't seem to use anymore. In reality he made a postbox and had more sent there and bought some from a friend, still used it daily and still had the same effects. At first I thought it was withdrawals, until a few weeks later he stood in the kitchen (heart visibly pounding) with green powder on his shirt. I get that he didn't want me to know, since he knew it bothered me, but I told him it was okay every now and then and that I was open to him trying/using it as long as he had a healthy relationship with it. I also told him to tell me if he struggled or wanted to talk about it again and even tried it myself once to make him see I'm okay with him trying stuff I don't like and only have some ground rules, since it negatively affected our time together. Something similar to this happened a couple of times. Of course I'm not an angel in this scenario, I also got sad or angry once or twice but – and thats kind of the whole point – mainly because of the lies. I think even if he just openly told me “I'm not ready to keep it down right now and we can talk about it again in x amount of time” would have been okay for me, since I just really hate finding out about this from random post box notifications or his friend telling him on the front porch that “it was so funny I actually believed that he quit”.
What she decides to do is her decision and nobody else’s. If the father wants to be involved then fine. If not, his loss. It is not your business to tell her what to do.
This sounds like a bad pornhub video. You shouldn't have had sex with your sister girlfriend at all, this whole thing is just weird. Stop thinking with the little brain. This is your sister, and her girlfriend.
Most abusers show their true colours when they think they've got you trapped. My thoughts would be that this is what is happening here. He's got you in a long marriage, with a kid, and without the time or resources spare to leave, he can do what he wants.
If this is truly not who he is, then you need to find out which misogynist right-wing rabbit hole he's fallen down and cut him off.
I'm sorry OP, but my money's on the first option. Time to go. For kiddo's sake
Yeah, that's not how it works though. He said he didn't want it via a text, he didn't waive paternity legally. She then hid them from him for how long? That's fucked. Totally and completely fucked.
If he knew before you guys went official that should’ve been the first conversation he had with you. She’s 7 months along so you only have 2 months to prepare if you’re staying. It’s manipulative to have not told you because he knew this information may have drastically changed your decision to initiate a relationship, and he didn’t give you a choice in that. He literally told you that he did it because he didn’t want you to leave, so he wanted you to become too attached to not feel like you have much of a choice to stay. Not giving you consent to be a part of his baggage is not a great start to a healthy honest relationship. Is he going to hide every hot conversation until it’s too late for you to back out?
“I know them having a baby doesn’t involve me”?? He MADE it involve you by not giving you an earlier chance to back out of it. If you’re staying with him you’re about to become a step mother to a brand new baby who will/should take up a lot of his time, money, and energy. That changes your entire trajectory of your relationship with him, that of course effects you too!
Stop shutting down your own feelings! “I feel like it isn’t fair for me to be upset” why?! You might not have been together officially, but he was courting you and saying he’d wait as long as needed for you, then he got someone else pregnant. It’s actually pretty easy to not get someone pregnant. It’s not that he was sleeping with others when you weren’t official, it’s that he got a girl pregnant and didn’t tell you until he felt like you would find it harder to leave him.
You state you’re childfree and don’t want to be a step mother. Then don’t. It may feel like he’s the best guy ever but the best guy ever would try to manipulate your feelings to make you stay. He would’ve told you upfront “just so you know, I’m having a child this spring”. Stop prematurely rejecting your feelings just because you’re trying to be objective about the situation. HE put you in this shitty situation when he didn’t let you know what you were getting into when you started your relationship
Yes it’s probably a routine and usually works. So if/when it doesn’t she will likely spiral even more and he will feel guilty because he usually plays into it, which will make him even more passive in handling it and drag it out even longer. All at expense of OP
Chances are this is a routine. They “broke up” a year ago, but are still deeply codependent. She shows up “””passionately””” and then he feels valued and they end up honking up again, then repeating toxic behaviors that ended their relationship. Maybe he even does this same thing to her. The crazier she gets the more he feels like “wow this is love!” Or something. Rinse and repeat.
Oh my dear … You remind me of myself at that age. I had a boyfriend like that when I was in my early 20s, they made my complex ptsd worse. The thing with complex ptsd is that you have never learned to spot red flags, espec
They were together for 4 years. We have been together for a little over a year. I believe it’s normal to miss some photos or whatnot, but in the s same boat I feel that nsfw need to be the first to be deleted.
I know that’s quite optimistic but I’m trying to give it my best shot. I don’t want things to end without me being able to say I was willing to work and grow.
You should proceed in the opposite direction of him and not look back. What other advice do you need? He’s shown he doesn’t care for you or your boundaries so he isn’t worth being a partner. Dump him and move on
Exactly! If the friends didn’t gossip she would not even have any idea that this ex even looked at her profile once. It surprises me that it’s taken her 4 to 5 years to finally be interested in quelling it. Even so, she’s arguing with everyone who advises her to use private settings, when in reality that’s the only thing she could do.
Why now? I do have to adress that I think it's weird to drop a bomb like that but thn not specify how they cheated only because they don't want to get involved. Well he already got involved and he could've told you before unless someone made him not to tell you.
Also why did they breakup? The reason for the breakup could give you sole guide if the dude is trustworthy or not.
However when there's a possibility like that you should really consider talking to your gf and asking her about it. There's no other way. Try to be calm and think of the way you ask her.
If you can you could also DM this dude but idk if it's worth it.
I wish you best of luck!
I have/had one good female friend at the time. I didn't find her attractive. She was great/fun to be around. The rest of the girls I've had as friends were never a best friend or anything cause I'd ever want to smash or have smashed.
So in my opinion, men can't have too many best female friends cause most of us want to do our thing with em. Just being honest.
Being uncomfortable with something is not the same as trying to control her. Nowhere did he say he was gonna make her stop, nor did I suggest he do that.
This whole subreddit is depressing tbh. Just so many young girls who literally will let men treat them like less than trash and just kind of accept it. The bar for men is apparently in hell.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My girlfriend (21) is skipping my college graduation for a Taylor Swift concert
About three days ago my girlfriend (of two years) got the confirmation she purchased Taylor Swift tickets for herself and 5 friends. She bought the tickets unaware of what day my graduation was. We found out together the concert and my graduation were on the same day in May of 2023. Which is 5 months away. Without hesitation she stated she won’t be selling her ticket as the concert is a “Once in a lifetime opportunity” and “Don’t make me sad since the concert is something i’m really excited to go too” I explained how my graduation is a once in a lifetime experience and I would like her to attend as their will be another opportunity for a Taylor Swift concert. She denied and said she understands how I may feel, but I do but understand how important the concert is to her. I’ve been working towards graduating for 5 years and it feels strange how a celebrity is a priority over something important in my life. This is my first time posting. i’m looking for some advice
I am very similar to you and have the same worries. For me I’ve expressed how worried I get and would like check ins. Something that helps me is remembering that I cannot control any situation. If something is going happen there is nothing I can do to change that. I can support, love, and care more than anything in the world but I cannot make someone do anything. If you’ve expressed your concern and he brushes you off or chooses not to listen, there is not much you can do. I always do self care when my partner is out. I read a book, do a face mask, put on a nice show, or journal. It can be hot at first but over time it does get easier. I’m not sure how to answer if you should “lay down as a rule” because if he’s not listening now, what will make him listen? What does laying down the rule look like? Feel like? You could take an internal look and see is it worth doing or is there a compromise?
This relationship doesn't sound like it is going to work out in the long run.
You just can’t fathom the love and support between a grown man and his nana.
You 100% full stop need to stay out of their marriage. Don't take sides or offer advice, they have been doing this weird dance forever and they need to handle their own lives. Keep your head down and get out of there as quickly as possible. I'm so sorry, this sounds awful. Hide.
How old was she when you met her/versus when you got in a relationship, OP???
dudes be like “she no longer caters to my needs I need to break up” and it's just a dude whose dating a young ass girl whose coming into her own
How many months post partum is this poor woman?
If you are an engineer, then you plan things out and look at all the possibilities, yes? And if you really pencil out the money you need to make, etc., then you won't be as stressed out because you'll be making an informed decision. You may do the homework, look for a job, and realize it won't work right now. Fine! Maybe later. But don't decide not to out of an amorphous 'I dunno'.
As for your anxiety, see a doctor.
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I highly doubt OP is withholding the fact he autonomously promised to legally protect her financial interests when setting this requirement. Why would he when there’s a long history of men getting this arrangement for absolutely nothing?
Asking your partner to do something you wouldn’t be willing to do yourself shows you don’t respect them, their feelings, and their needs as being equal to your own, unless they have expressed that their wants and needs are different than yours. And I would extend that logic to someone asking their partner to be the sole earner so they can be a SAHP.
If you on-line in a big city- get a serving job at a mildly nice place. No chains. Lie on your resume. Its quick good money
This sounds like classic vaginismus, and if you go to your doctor, they will be able to help you with graduated dilators. You can even order the graduated dilators yourself from the internet, if you'd rather. They start small, and the idea is that you start getting used to inserting them, until you're comfortable with each size increase. I did it myself, and it worked. It takes patience, and you will want to buy a lot of high quality lube. Even when you yourself get wet, it will always help to add more lube
Even if it’s something that mattered, why does everything turn into a debate? You could have said to Mary, thanks, I wasn’t sure because I never heard of that. Then drop it with Mary so it doesn’t turn into you trying to get the final word in. Later, you research it on your own (like you did). But you skip the part where you imply Mary is wrong because you hadn’t heard of it. There’s no need to say something to make someone feel “less than”.
If it’s NOT something that affects your life or the lives of people close to you, don’t make such a big deal of having to debate if someone is correct or not. Let some things go, who cares if someone says something that may be slightly wrong if it’s some little thing. Don’t embarrass or make them feel pressured to “prove” their statement just so you can be sure it’s ?correct.
Lol you married a 40-year-old cop after a couple of dates and you’re surprised he’s (a) dysfunctional, (b) distant, and (c) not happy about raising a child he didn’t want.
You got the outcome you set yourself up for…
Not sure there’s any advice that will be useful since the best advice involves time travel.
It is not someone's burden to carry on with the depression of an other one.
I'm currently in my first trimester of pregnancy, working 2 jobs and the tiredness is so bad it's getting me down at times. I've cried and apologised for being so tired yet my partner has been nothing but understanding and loving and “is there anything I can do to help” not this “if I cheated it would be your fault” bs.
Your husband has communication issues that need working on
That’s disgusting and disrespectful to everyone around her, it’s not even a difficult thing to do! You might want to break up if she considers it a monumental task to be a considerate human being
Wow you totally twisted what they were saying lmao, nice
The friend zone doesn't exist. That's just called being a friend.
I’m a health teacher, you’re wrong.
A lot of this is very common with mothers of young children. Women often lose their identity outside of their family when they have children and it's really horrible.
You two need to work on your dynamic in therapy and by using resources together.
Start with her having the same amount of time to herself, without kids or chores, and a budget to explore hobbies and interests.
Do you say as many positive/complimentary things as teasing things? Twice as many? Start there.
Above all tell her “I hear you. I understand that you feel this way and although I am a different person I understand why you feel this way. I want to fix this. I know it can't all be fixed overnight but I'm committed to fixing this together”
When you do talk about ways to improve things, talk about things each of you can contribute and ways you can work together on it. Your kid is 8, can she go back to school / get some training to reenter the workforce in a good earning spot?
You’re not controlling her. You’re setting hot boundaries for behavior you’re not okay with and will walk away from a relationship over.
Omg your cat is totally adorable! And love your hair! I had bi pride hair two summers ago, really want to go back to that if I can find a good stylist in my area. Love all the bright colors! 🙂
Do you on-line in NYC? If you do there are plenty of places that she can work at. The problem is she is applying to big businesses and corporations that require SSN…but if she applied in the neighborhood, help wanted signs, Facebook marketplace has ads and many on the internet she would be able to work
Claiming misogynism while displaying misandry, classic. A man experiencing jealousy does not mean he thinks his partner belongs to him. These are completely normal feelings. I wish them the best, but it sounds like he hasn't been able to get over it.
Okay. I would want someone who wanted me on their one free night. But that’s me.
No agreement, and this is what I’ve been thinking. It’s child “support” not “pay for everything support”.
She works 2 days a week, earns like £700 a month + she’s going to get government allowance + my child support.
It sounds like you don't belong together. You're having doubts about your relationship and thinking you're “wasting your time” if he doesn't ever propose. I understand wanting to get married, but thinking that end goal is more important than the relationship itself shows that you're not really in love with him. You're in love with the idea of the future you've laid out for yourself, and it just so happens that you're dating him at the moment.
So the next hour was spent messaging his friends saying to block this particular account and not to open messages from them – that's silly AF
we all know they are going to open the message
Well, I'd reckon you've gathered saying this with any wording would be creepy to some extent from your five-ish months around her, so the easiest way would be to not. You could try to casualify it and throw in a few platonic nicknames but there will still be that message.
And if someone really want's to spend time with you, they tend to be willing to make time and bend their rules to accommodate you especially if they know they won't have to cancel something else or won't be caught respectively. On the other hand people will try to covertly avoid you by hiding behind schedules and rules as an excuse.
Now there's more to it if they're avoiding you, so don't go in accusing immediately, but I'd argue you should maybe start off by lightly and covertly probing that.
Not sure I’m following. Isn’t it more like he’s trying to turn me into to her or make me like her because that’s what he misses?
Me too. Wash my hair every second day also.
Think of it like breaking a horse. The horse is bucking and thrashing and you have to hold on. Eventually the horse will trot and listen to your commands.
Right now you are in the thick of the bucking. Hang on.
So how many of your husband's friends do you invite over to take hot photos of you for your husband? Dude was just some guy. He's not a pro. These weren't classy photos. Chick got nude with another man and produced porn. There was no class involved. This is not the same as going to an actual professional and having set shots created to make erotica for your spouse. Most people don't find out that their spouse allowed someone to see them that way a good thing. Wife was into it or it would not have happened. IMO she and dude are equally sketchy and both complicit.
4 times in a row? Time to dump this inconsiderate clod.
This is what it reals like to me. My best friend is ace and I sent him this and he said maybe this person doesn’t realize they are but it reads like it.
Dude, let me be the first person to tell you that you have to use paragraph breaks. Look at that a wall of text. Would you want to read all of that shit? Use some common sense, Jesus.
I’d say that now’s around the time where it could be an expectation to be invited to family events.
You say you discussed it, but what has she said?
Yeah sure. This is an older one but very similar to what is happening now. He used to buy Kratom and take it every day in very high doses. (It has an opioid like effect as far as I know, but is not as strong as other (illegal) opioids). He also takes meds and the two together have made him very unresponsive and whenever he went a day without he was very easily annoyed and even had some pain. I told him its okay that he wants to take it every now and then ( like once a week) but not on a regular basis. He agreed that it went a little out of control and was very expensive too and – to my information – quit it completly and only kept some leftover Kratom in a drawer, that he didn't seem to use anymore. In reality he made a postbox and had more sent there and bought some from a friend, still used it daily and still had the same effects. At first I thought it was withdrawals, until a few weeks later he stood in the kitchen (heart visibly pounding) with green powder on his shirt. I get that he didn't want me to know, since he knew it bothered me, but I told him it was okay every now and then and that I was open to him trying/using it as long as he had a healthy relationship with it. I also told him to tell me if he struggled or wanted to talk about it again and even tried it myself once to make him see I'm okay with him trying stuff I don't like and only have some ground rules, since it negatively affected our time together. Something similar to this happened a couple of times. Of course I'm not an angel in this scenario, I also got sad or angry once or twice but – and thats kind of the whole point – mainly because of the lies. I think even if he just openly told me “I'm not ready to keep it down right now and we can talk about it again in x amount of time” would have been okay for me, since I just really hate finding out about this from random post box notifications or his friend telling him on the front porch that “it was so funny I actually believed that he quit”.
What she decides to do is her decision and nobody else’s. If the father wants to be involved then fine. If not, his loss. It is not your business to tell her what to do.
This sounds like a bad pornhub video. You shouldn't have had sex with your sister girlfriend at all, this whole thing is just weird. Stop thinking with the little brain. This is your sister, and her girlfriend.
Most abusers show their true colours when they think they've got you trapped. My thoughts would be that this is what is happening here. He's got you in a long marriage, with a kid, and without the time or resources spare to leave, he can do what he wants.
If this is truly not who he is, then you need to find out which misogynist right-wing rabbit hole he's fallen down and cut him off.
I'm sorry OP, but my money's on the first option. Time to go. For kiddo's sake
i totally understand
How did you learn what not to say? I honestly have no idea what’s okay and what’s not
Yeah, that's not how it works though. He said he didn't want it via a text, he didn't waive paternity legally. She then hid them from him for how long? That's fucked. Totally and completely fucked.
If he knew before you guys went official that should’ve been the first conversation he had with you. She’s 7 months along so you only have 2 months to prepare if you’re staying. It’s manipulative to have not told you because he knew this information may have drastically changed your decision to initiate a relationship, and he didn’t give you a choice in that. He literally told you that he did it because he didn’t want you to leave, so he wanted you to become too attached to not feel like you have much of a choice to stay. Not giving you consent to be a part of his baggage is not a great start to a healthy honest relationship. Is he going to hide every hot conversation until it’s too late for you to back out?
“I know them having a baby doesn’t involve me”?? He MADE it involve you by not giving you an earlier chance to back out of it. If you’re staying with him you’re about to become a step mother to a brand new baby who will/should take up a lot of his time, money, and energy. That changes your entire trajectory of your relationship with him, that of course effects you too!
Stop shutting down your own feelings! “I feel like it isn’t fair for me to be upset” why?! You might not have been together officially, but he was courting you and saying he’d wait as long as needed for you, then he got someone else pregnant. It’s actually pretty easy to not get someone pregnant. It’s not that he was sleeping with others when you weren’t official, it’s that he got a girl pregnant and didn’t tell you until he felt like you would find it harder to leave him.
You state you’re childfree and don’t want to be a step mother. Then don’t. It may feel like he’s the best guy ever but the best guy ever would try to manipulate your feelings to make you stay. He would’ve told you upfront “just so you know, I’m having a child this spring”. Stop prematurely rejecting your feelings just because you’re trying to be objective about the situation. HE put you in this shitty situation when he didn’t let you know what you were getting into when you started your relationship
Yes it’s probably a routine and usually works. So if/when it doesn’t she will likely spiral even more and he will feel guilty because he usually plays into it, which will make him even more passive in handling it and drag it out even longer. All at expense of OP
Chances are this is a routine. They “broke up” a year ago, but are still deeply codependent. She shows up “””passionately””” and then he feels valued and they end up honking up again, then repeating toxic behaviors that ended their relationship. Maybe he even does this same thing to her. The crazier she gets the more he feels like “wow this is love!” Or something. Rinse and repeat.
Super toxic.
I came in here to say the exact thing…
Oh my dear … You remind me of myself at that age. I had a boyfriend like that when I was in my early 20s, they made my complex ptsd worse. The thing with complex ptsd is that you have never learned to spot red flags, espec
This is exactly my point
I was born and raised here, I didn’t move anywhere
I just want to say thank you all for your advice, this has been really helpful! And yes, I will continue my relationship with her
Then you didn't have the right therapist.
They were together for 4 years. We have been together for a little over a year. I believe it’s normal to miss some photos or whatnot, but in the s same boat I feel that nsfw need to be the first to be deleted.
It's not cheating, it's lying.. and that's wouldn't sit well with me. If I could take back all the relationships I ignored red flags with, I would.
What did I just read
Lmao ?
Why did you ask?
Don't forget “you're so ungrateful after I put a roof over your head and fed you”
I know that’s quite optimistic but I’m trying to give it my best shot. I don’t want things to end without me being able to say I was willing to work and grow.
You should proceed in the opposite direction of him and not look back. What other advice do you need? He’s shown he doesn’t care for you or your boundaries so he isn’t worth being a partner. Dump him and move on
Exactly! If the friends didn’t gossip she would not even have any idea that this ex even looked at her profile once. It surprises me that it’s taken her 4 to 5 years to finally be interested in quelling it. Even so, she’s arguing with everyone who advises her to use private settings, when in reality that’s the only thing she could do.