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Daria, y.o.
Location: swan lake
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Date: October 18, 2022
Everyone is different and no two relationships are exactly the same. You'll likely find someone much more compatible without a ton of effort.
That said, it sounds like you might also be watching too many movies and it might be time for you to remember you're in a relationship with a person, not with your idea of a perfect relationship – yes, there are partners who will be more thoughtful but not all of them are going to think your methods are as romantic as you think they are either. I know if my husband was soaking in the rain to surprise me at a train station, I'd wonder why he was being such an idiot that he didn't think to bring an umbrella or wait in the car and be annoyed that now he has to change before we can do anything or go anywhere or touch me with his cold ass hands. Remember that when you do things you see as “for her” that if she didn't ask you to do it, you're actually doing it of your own volition and you don't deserve any particular response to that action. That will keep you from viewing them as transactional (where you do things to get things back) and instead do things because you want to.
The more important things about romantic gestures are that you settle into a maintainable place of effort and that you ensure the gesture is worth at least as much to them as it is to you. Your ex clearly put in the effort to bother to get you gifts, but since in your mind the effort of personalization is more important than the act of gifting, she'd have been better off not bothering. Maybe it was somewhat the same with your gestures? The person's love languages and how they interpret them are really important, as are yours and how you interpret them. Conflicts in these fields can be pretty serious incompatibilities if neither of you learn and grow.
Maybe an example would help? My ex really had gifts as his primary love language. I'm not a gifts person, so him getting me something was usually between meh and stressful as I felt pressured to feign excitement and use the thing even if I didn't want or need it. But he kept getting me things. And I was always stressed about gifting since I hate being pressed to buy or make things. But I'm an acts of service person, so I'd feel much more loved if he just took out the trash so I didn't have to or actually folded and put away the laundry he washed instead of leaving my clothes in the dryer and creating work for me. Things eventually fell apart in no small part because I didn't feel like he loved me. My husband is totally different – neither of us really do gifts but that works for us. He's always going out of his way to do little things around the house and make my life easier. Nothing makes me feel more spoiled than coming home to a shoveled driveway after a day of snow, and he never fails to make me feel like he cares. But I also understand his quality time love language a lot better, so we're just way more compatible and the relationship is much better for it.
You shouldn't feel like you must always do wild things, but you deserve someone who will really appreciate even your subtle acts of love, and they're definitely out there. Take some time, make peace with that relationship being over, and, when you're ready, dive back into dating.
I’d say the fact that she was willing to do suck a male strippers nipple for a free shot when she knows about your past is disrespectful enough to end it. Drinking shouldn’t really be used as an excuse if she was coherent enough to call you and tell you about it.