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Date: October 30, 2022
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You're mad because the adults here aren't telling you, you're right. You're creating more drama in your family and you don't care.
That’s a little extreme for what is just a minor argument lol
You’re telling her you like her at the healthy weight?new clothes sound like a good idea to me
I'm an American. Here in America Ben Franklin was one of our greats. He made the first coin mint for currency used here. Do you know what was on the coin?
3 words
Mind YOUR business
It's not your secret to bust man. It is your friend to talk to earnestly. So speak your words to her. If she listens, and chooses her own path forward, because of her heart or whatever, be happy for your friend. If she is your friend you should be happy she is in love. Many people never fall all the way in love.
Just my opinion. Take it for a grain of salt and remember; You ain't nobody till somebody loves you and I love you whoever and wherever you are, so that's something.
Sounds like an emotional affair. Tell her if she’s not going to take you and your feelings seriously the you’re done. You sound like you’re at the end of your rope and falling out of love with her mate. Tell her that’s happening and see what she says.
Confront him- for what? You've hit the lottery. This man loves you deeply. He cares not just about you, but for you. He not only provides for you, but provides himself for you. What's there to 'confront' him about? What were your chances of finding him in the first place? If I were you, I'd wake up happy every day, knowing how fortunate I was to have a husband as great as he is.
I’m honestly not sure. If she does have feelings, I’m not sure why she said there was no chance for us to work towards a relationship again. I don’t care how slow it goes, as long as it’s in the right direction.
It’s just honestly emotionally draining, if I’m seeing her and talking to her daily like nothing has changed, for it to go nowhere in the end.
I genuinely enjoy seeing her and I like making her happy, but she’s not being very considerate of me is she? if she keeps making comments about missing me/needing me/ getting jealous, if she knows that it will never go anywhere? that would feel like I was being led on.
If she only wants to be my friend, I’m pretty sure that’s not how friends talk to each other. It would be more platonic wouldn’t it?
You don’t need to spend as much as you did on your grand children, but yes, it would be nice if you bought her daughter a gift or two.
I'm seeing a crazy amount of him-blaming and not any real addressing of the fact that hes made his boundary clear from ages ago and you're still trying to encroach on this and bring about a compromise?
Nevermind you dumping him, maybe he should consider it. Maybe he already is, maybe that's what his ultimatum is? His last ditch attempt to get you to stop trying to push back his boundaries.
Cue the downvotes….
Having been the female in this situation: she told you exactly how she felt, distant from you. Do not go at the situation like she's done something wrong and don't suspect that she's cheating you or hiding some big secret. The guys saying that have never been in the situation, I can tell. She feels distant from you! You haven't been showing her how important and beautiful she is to you enough! Simple as that, talk to her and ask her what you can do to make her feel more loved!!
Honestly, I'd view this as a medical issue. There's no other reasonable conclusion you should accept.
If I were in your shoes, I would schedule a doctor's appointment and tell him he needs to go get checked out.
If he says he's fine, you literally just have to point to one of the shit stains in your dwelling and tell him “No person is OK with this. No person would do this intentionally. Your embarrassment is good. It means you know that this isn't normal. Something is going on that you need to get checked out.”
If he's unwilling, then you ask him to admit that he doesn't clean well enough. He has to face some type of truth. Until he admits that either something is wrong or that he's OK with not cleaning up after pooping (or even not cleaning up after farting), you'll never make any real progress.
Good luck.
Honestly, I'd view this as a medical issue. There's no other reasonable conclusion you should accept.
If I were in your shoes, I would schedule a doctor's appointment and tell him he needs to go get checked out.
If he says he's fine, you literally just have to point to one of the shit stains in your dwelling and tell him “No person is OK with this. No person would do this intentionally. Your embarrassment is good. It means you know that this isn't normal. Something is going on that you need to get checked out.”
If he's unwilling, then you ask him to admit that he doesn't clean well enough. He has to face some type of truth. Until he admits that either something is wrong or that he's OK with not cleaning up after pooping (or even not cleaning up after farting), you'll never make any real progress.
Good luck.
You say you want four kids but you really won’t know until you start trying and (hopefully) having them.
He “doesn’t like your dad’s addiction”, doesn’t want you getting pregnant at 35?” He seems a bit controlling or at least wants to be the boss. Do it in the right order: get married, buy a house, have kids.
That doesn’t mean you have to have a huge wedding. You need to find some common ground and maybe some premarital counseling.
Why do you think he needs to know now? And not when you were fucking his girlfriend?
Don't pretend to have morals. You're just butt hurt.
Lol you leave shit stains on your underwear? You're gross
During this conversation he reassured me he is not seeing anyone else. But I guess I should clarify that with him as well rather than assume anything ever again.
how is it her place when its not her kid and they don't event get on?
If this is how it is with the dog, how is it going to be should you ever have children?
Think long and naked about this, it's not about the dog here really but core values that don't seem to be in sync.
I would recommend writing down your thoughts about everything so you have a list to follow when talking. This way you can be sure you don't go off track or get bogged down by whatever he says.
Not wanting public sex has nothing to do with other men looking at you. In fact, public sex is a very good way to get them to look at you. He sounds like a petulant child. Don't date people who act like children.
You want a person to do meet all of your fiscal, emotional, and physical desires and wants.
Honestly I’d recommend going to a sugar daddy website. You won’t find that from someone that respects themselves.
L dude tbh
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It's nothing to do with confidence. If anything, it's the opposite. It's attention-seeking behavior.
Does she often stonewall you or try to make you leave? Is this new behaviour? She’s being incredibly cold and manipulative, suggesting you leave the house over this is outrageous
Please do better. For yourself.
I need a cup of tea to relax before I go to bed at night. Does that make me a tea addict?
Yeah I asked for more context regarding being “incredibly emotionally unstable”.
I’ve been a vegetarian since before I could drive and even I know to not let meat sit out for too long and that it shouldn’t be red in the middle.
You want a partner, he wants a subservient house wife. Unless he can change his attitude there's not much you can do other than find someone whose wants are more aligned to yours.
They would have to be knee-length in order to be completely sure and very loose. So basically a normal pair of shorts.
My partner has popped out of his on several occasions. But he never goes around in nothing but boxers when my teenage kids are home unless it's in the middle of the night and he's making a bathroom run.
It is on the clock, she told me she has thoughts to tell me, but prefers to say it in person. It's pretty obvious to me what it's gonna be but I'll wait till then.
You deleted your post before I could read it but I just wanted to say this happened when I was at college. I was friends with a girl that I just met and she had fallen out with her best friend as her and her best friend’s ex had started dating. It’s now 17 years later and they are married with kids so although it’s shitty and awful and there was lots of drama, sometimes it works out.
Right on!
It actually absolutely means it's ok. That's exactly what “legal age” defines.
And if she's into the power dynamic she should go along with it, lol.
Habits can be naked to break, but not impossible.
Don't stay in a relationship just because he doesn't have family to fall back on.
He's going to continue behaving this way if you stay. He's manipulative and intentionally hurting you because that's what he thinks you'll put up with.
You need to leave and show that you won't tolerate abuse.
That's also fine but again it's just a book
First off, he has no business walking into your bedroom after you have gone to bed. So that needs to stop. And second, if you chose to sleep naked it would be none of his business. Why? See the first point.
The definition of gaslighting is manipulating someone using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity, so yea.. I’m using the term properly because she is manipulating me and making me feel crazy i just have the self awareness to know it’s happening.
You want to risk it all for a woman who doesn’t care that you are married? And what you like about her is… you watch the same tv shows? Good luck with that.
He sounds emotionally abusive OP. His behavior isn’t normal and neither is gaslighting your partner. I hope you don’t settle for this behavior anymore. It’s teaching your children that it’s ok to walk all over women. Stop apologizing and put your foot down. What are you afraid of?
The fact that there are people in these comments continuing to defend pages like that is vile.
OP isn't nearly as petty as me. I'd have told her, “Well, maybe you can find that picture on a “Don't Date This Woman” page later. Or maybe not, I'm not as disgusting as you, but you'll always wonder, won't you.
This was my first thought, too!
I have limited experience with this, but when I did it, I didn't even think about it. Once I started, it kept going, and I surprised even myself when I read it.
Do you have long-term relationship goals? If so, how does this fit? If not, why not go out and maybe have a fun date?
I think that I have integrity.. And I've been sober for nearly a year now, I just realized that the wording in my post might have been confusing about that
I mean, if you came into this relationship saying this is how I want to online my life and for this relationship to work you need to accept this…. And now he isn't accepting it and is trying to control things, it's probably not going to work out.
If they are changes you want to make to your life, that is one thing but someone else trying to dictate your life isnt usually a great thing as an adult.
My ex did this too. He strangled me, so I left. I went back for my things with an officer and everything was gone. It sucked and their were heirlooms I'll never get back, but you know what? I still have my life.
It's naked to see right now, but you also still have your life, whereas everything else can be replaced. Your life can't be replaced. It will take time, but you'll get to replace a lot of your stuff.
You absolutely had to marry a barely legal adult, that’s the same age as your daughter?
You married her at 18, so my question is, at what age did you start grooming her?
Wonderful story! As a father and grandfather, I have made it perfectly clear that we are accepting of anything or children and grandchildren choose. If they want to date straight, gay or trans, the only thing we care about is whether their partner makes them happy. We will accept anyone subject to that one stipulation
But bringing a baby into a world with 2 messed up parents and a person who thinks they are the dad is a good idea?!
Once a cheater always a cheater. If Claire is having sex with you while married.. if magically you end up with her, she will cheat on you too
Just remember at one point it slipped out and she giggled and put it back in. Also she said “this your pussy” to him. Oh and at one point he tapped it on her tongue. Also he asked if she liked it and she was like “yeeeaaaaahhhhh”
Successful with that kinda money spending habits?
She'll be successfully broke
Tbh I also saw such an outcome but I couldn’t stop my feelings.
We are a small company, less than 40. 20 where I work, there is no HR department.
I have a supervisor who is quite nice, and she had ask me in the past if I dislike the jokes she will tell him to stop.
At the time I did not dislike them. They were stupid jokes but they seem friendly, they never refer a third person so I was okay with them.
But he knows my gf since a day I bring her to an office activity. I know hers too…
Rewind, reread.
Dump her and make sure the cats are well taken care of
Didn't even need to read your thread.
You do nothing about the other guy! You break up with your Girlfriend.
8 years ago.
Why are you even still with him? He sounds horrible and his behaviour towards you isn't any better either, please reconsider your relationship with him because this isn't healthy.
Maybe you can get a penis shrinking surgery.
This is a very helpful perspective, thank you!
Have you been to a bachelors place before? How was it?
I don't think it is a great idea. To get over a relationship you need space from the other person. Coparenting a pet isn't really a great idea for healing.
Either he's bored, found someone else already, or busy and preoccupied with other things.
In most cases, it's the last one; but if you're quick to jump to conclusions without any justification – it might as well be one of the first two.
All you can really do is keep the lines of communication open until you get the answer you're looking for.
The more you talk the more it sounds like there's an underlying issue on her end, OP. I second counseling. If this is new behavior and there's nothing to warrant it, a sitdown with someone effective in communication can help the two of you express your concerns and hopefully give good advice on how to move forward together. I want to add that there are times when something's wrong with us that we don't always know the reason behind, either. Talking to someone might help her realize what she's struggling with if she's missing the problem too.
You can try sitting her down and having a heart to heart together before bringing up the idea of marriage counseling. But I do think a couple of sessions, even if she tells you in that heart to heart, would be good for a professional opinion and suggestion of how best to tackle any fears or concerns you're both having. I hope whatever you choose it goes well. 🙂
You can help her by not taking her shit. Tell her if she ever talks to you like that you'll leave. See how quickly she develops self control.
She needs professional help. Unable to go more than 3 days without sex AND completely disregarding your health in the process?
No, ma'am. She literally isn't healthy for you.
Why not buy a bidet and call it a wrap?
He needs to quit the booze or you need to leave him… At the moment he's punching objects, what happens when he starts punching you?
Yes because that’s exactly the same as wasting tons of food ?
Yes I work. I’ve been really sick with the stomach flu for the last few days so I’m home
He wanted you to know he was active and CHEAP.
As someone who was strung along by my ex because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings and kept making similar excuses about ruining this event or that time, please just break it off now. If he continues to express love for you over the next few days and you play along with it, it will hurt him further. If you absolutely want to wait, you need to at least tell him you need to talk this weekend and give him space leading up to it. You owe it to him to not give the impression you want to be in this relationship one moment longer than you actually do.
Yeah this happened to one of my best friends. Or I should say almost. I told her not to let him get his stuff and to arrange for a cop to be there. She said it would be ok since he knew it was over and she said he was on the way anyways. The second we got off the phone I called the cops and gave the address and told them about the physical abuse. He also tried t strangle her once before. I decided to drive there also but I’m further away. Unsurprisingly he did try to kill her. I found out that when the cops got there her ex was trying to break the door open to their bedroom and he had a gun.